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Jared Pobre is the Unluckiest Guy in the World

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Who Is Jared Pobre? Apparently he’s Stacy Kiebler’s newest man candy, which also makes him the unluckiest guy in the world. Before I get into Jared, I’d like to point out that you don’t “rebound” from George Clooney. You fall in love with him and then spend the rest of your waking days wishing he was still by your side. Back to Jared. This guy seems cool enough. He’s the founder of the tech company Future Ads, which means absolutely nothing to me. Did he win two Oscars, one for acting and one for producing? Did he win three Golden Globes, one for feature film directing, feature film acting and television acting? The answer to these questions are no, but guess who has won 2 Oscars and 3 Golden Globes? George “Motherfucking” Clooney. Enjoy your time with Stacy, Jared, but know that she’s thinking about sweet Georgy the entire time.

– Ryan

P.S. Clooney.

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The “Gossip Center” Covering Taylor Swift News Like Morons

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Taking some time off of their touring duties, Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran rented some paddle boards and hit the high seas at Narragansett Bay in Westerly, Massachusetts on Sunday afternoon (July 28). -Gossip Center

Ok, Gossip Center, if you are going to report about one of our own local celebrities here in Rhode Island please remove your head from your collective asses.  Number one, Narragansett Bay is basically the entire Rhode Island, and some of Massachusetts, watershed. So saying you’re “AT” Narragansett Bay is a pretty vague statement.  Number two, Westerly is a RHODE ISLAND town that boarders Connecticut, and is nowhere near Massachusetts.

-MattyV

PS- I don’t know who Ed Sheeran is, but he would be the poster child of “People Who Look Awkward At The Beach” Magazine.

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Nobody puts Jennifer Aniston In A Corner

Recently Angelina Jolie let Brad Pitt out of the house and allowed him to attend the world premiere of his new film World War Z. If we need one thing in this world, its another post apocalyptic movie where one weirdly in shape man takes on a bunch of zombies. I’m not here to bash the movie, because I’ll probably see it and fall madly in love with it. I do, however, have a problem with his unflattering comments towards Miss Jennifer Aniston. For anyone who missed it, he claims that his marriage to Aniston was boring and he had an “epiphany” during the relationship which restarted his life and blah blah blah.

Let me get this straight: making sweet love to one of the most beautiful woman on the planet, spending months vacationing around the world, endless ketchup fights and arguing over who makes more money is a boring marriage? I’d stay with her just for the ketchup fights, nevermind the other perks. But maybe Brad didnt like that life. He wanted a simpler life without the public spotlight constantly shining on him. What’s his next move? He hooks up with the ice queen herself, Angelina Jolie. I’m not one to judge, but anyone who has made out with her brother and wore a vile of Billy Bob Thorton’s blood around her neck would’nt be my ideal spouse. I’m picking that “boring” lifestyle every goddamn day. Enjoy your new exciting life with your League of Nations children, Mr. Pitt. We’ll see you in the sunshine.

-Ryan

P.S. – In the real world, that “epiphany” you had is called cheating on your wife you beautiful piece of shit.

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