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Human Genius Sean Hannity Thinks We Should Also Ban All Rap Music Along With The Confederate Flag

“Our nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.” Those are lyrics from Mrs. Robinson by Simon & Garfunkel, and I’m 100% sure that that line is not talking about the human genius known as Sean Hannity. Because everyone’s opinion matters, Hannity went on his radio show to talk about the Confederate flag controversy (not a controversy) and thought that human beings with the ability to hear things would actually care about what he had to say. Well as usual, he was wrong, but he did impart some grown up wisdom on us: if we’re going to ban the Confederate flag, why not ban rap music too? Well for one, we’re not going to do that because it makes no god damn sense. At it’s best, the Confederate flag signifies the Civil War, a time in our country where we fought and killed EACH OTHER. At worst, the flag signifies a visceral hate and disgust for human beings because of the color of their skin. Hannity’s main problem with rap music is it’s language, which is a fine point, but in the year 2015 there is thing called the clean version of rap CD’s, where you can’t hear any of the swears. Also, the internet. I know Hannity is a bit older but if he’s still going to Wal-mart to buy CD’s then we have a bigger problem. Comparing the flag and rap music is really asinine, but it’s what people like Sean Hannity do. It’s three and half minutes of bullshit, but sometimes it’s nice to know that you’re smarter than a man with his own radio and TV show.

– Ryan

In The Best News All Day, Ja Rule Is Endorsing Hillary Clinton For President In 2016

Politics aren’t exactly my thing, but when JA RULE ENDORSES HILLARY CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT, I need to get in on the action. Ja Rule was a guest on Fox News, which is a sentence I never thought I’d type, and while he likes both Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton, he’s a democrat, so he’s going to be rooting for ol’ Hil Dog. This whole thing is just great, and watching Ja Rule 1. be alive and 2. be in a suit on Fox News discussing politics makes my heart warm. I kind of hope this is his new thing. He just shows up on news channels and everyone expects him to start screaming expletives but he’s this really articulate, well spoken political genius. It would be the biggest reinvention since John Travolta reemerged as a robot. I don’t know if he plans on coming out with any new music, but for those wondering, his (Ja Rule, not John Travolta) Pandora channel is fantastic.

– Ryan

Did FOX News Create a Death Star?

Here is what fox news is calling “The Fox News Deck”. To me it looks more like the bridge of the Death Star.




PS- elaborate_ruse

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