Blog Archives
Let Carl Sagan Crawl Into Your Mind
If this doesn’t move you, even the tiniest bit, then you must not have a pulse. This puts our lives here on Earth into a perspective that cannot be seen by just looking out a window. Watch this video, maybe not right now, but later, when you are home and you have some quiet time. Sit down, put on some headphones and really LISTEN to the message.
-Matt
PS- “We Humans Are Capable of Greatness” – Carl Sagan
The World According To Yoko
Last Friday we explored the world of Twitter through the eyes of a dangerously insane human being: Yoko Ono. The beautiful thing about crazy people on twitter is that most of them don’t realize how crazy they actually are, so they continue to tweet incoherent nonsense. Yoko’s tweets are too awesome to pass up, so without further ado, welcome back to the world according to Yoko.
@yokoono: Lift your eyes again and look around you, and you will see that the sky doesn’t end just up there, it comes all the way down to the ground!
– hmmm. I feel like what she is trying to describe here is some type of horrible catastrophe. If I ever lift up my eyes and see the sky coming towards the ground I will be shitting my pants while trying to convince myself that its just a bad acid trip.
@yokoono: Wishing is more effective than waving flags. It works. It’s magic. Magic is simple. Magic is real.
I think Yoko has been spending too much time with Gob Bluth. And why are waving flags and magic our only two options? With all the advances in modern technology, I feel like we should have more options to solve world conflicts. Anyone? Bueller?
@yokoono: The earth we walk on is severed into pieces: continents and islands. But the sky is one!
– this one actually makes sense. You can call her crazy, but Yoko knows her geography. I can’t wait to see what kind of tweets shes planning for next week. Until then, stay cool and have a great weekend.
– Ryan
Grab Your Pitch Forks and Melt Your Butter: When Humans Fall, Lobsters Will Inherit The Earth
“As best scientists can tell, lobsters age so gracefully they show no measurable signs of aging: no loss of appetite, no change in metabolism, no loss of reproductive urge or ability, no decline in strength or health. Lobsters, when they die, seem to die from external causes.” – NPR
Here is what I know to be true: The sky is blue, grass is green, Norah Jones is an American treasure, and Lobsters will take over planet Earth. I was recently scanning NPR, as I do almost never, and I came across an article that caught my eye. It was a interview between, NPR reporter, Robert Krulwich and Boston University Professor and Biologist, Jelle Atema. Listen to the whole interview here. The gist of the article, and the major point I took from it, is that Lobsters CANNOT DIE. They show no measurable signs of aging, loss of appetite, and most importantly…reproducing. These lobsters are fuckin’ well into there 200’s. Professor Atema suggests that the only times we see lobsters die are external causes*.
I don’t know about you but this worries me, this worries me a lot. Imagine what thousands of years of being hunted and eaten will do to you? They have to be pissed. What if for all the time they’ve been on this Earth they have developing breathing apparatus’s to help them survive on land? What if they want to be caught and they sacrifice millions of their own kind a year to lobster pots and Legal Seafoods in the name of lobster science! This frightens me, and it should frighten you too.
Here is my plan and I urge all of you to follow.
We must dress as the lobster. Then, and only then, will we avoid what is coming to us. -Mattyv
P.S. For all those people on the cockroach bandwagon, I will take my 22 pound lobster against an army of roaches any day of the week and twice on Thursday.
*When I am mercilessly stuffing my face with these tasty critters
UPDATE: I just received a BBC article from Seanlite highlighting how “A strain of cockroaches in Europe has evolved to outsmart the sugar traps used to eradicate them.” Wonderful…we are all fucked.
