Blog Archives

This Dad’s Dance Moves Are Absolutely Off The Charts

This guy breaks it down like very few have broke it down before. The only concerning thing is that there doesn’t appear to be a kid anywhere around him. Hopefully he didn’t go to this concert by himself, because that’s a little odd. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, he probably brought his daughter to this concert and just decided to dance his dick off. Good for him. My only critique: lose the twirl.

H/T UPROXX

– Ryan

Monster Blog Wednesday: Best Jimmy Fallon Skits

It’s no longer a contest: Jimmy Fallon owns the sketch portion of late night TV. I still prefer Conan in the monologue, but whether it was Late Night with Jimmy Fallon or The Tonight Show, Fallon consistently delivers funny and creative skits. Here are a few of our favorites.

The Evolution of Dad Dancing – Late Night

Kind of an under the radar skit back from Fallon’s Late Night days. I think I like this skit so much because this is 100% how I dance at the bar. I get a couple of drinks in me and I’m out on the dance floor makings things happen. I gotta say Jimmy Fallon absolutely nails all of these moves. I usually start off with the simple “clap when you want to” which immediately turns into the “clap and shake” which lasts the rest of the night. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is no, it is not very impressive, but it’s all I got.

– Ryan

Real People Fake Arms – Late Night

Real people, fake arms, is gold for two reasons: Jimmy Fallon and Steve Carell. I don’t think it is physically possible for Jimmy Fallon to keep a straight face during a skit, and you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. Carell, always professional, and Fallon always laughing. I bet by now you are probably screaming at the computer screen, “what about JUSTIN?!” Come on people, do I really need to point out how awesome JT can be in a comedy sketch? Does a dog need to be taught how to bury a bone? Does a bird need to be reminded how to fly? Does Bill Paxton need to prove he discovered the Titanic? No, the answer is no.

-Matt

Justin Bieber’s Dad Wants to Be Justin Bieber So Bad It’s Actually Disturbing

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The bieb’s dad seems like a cool guy. Shirt off on the beach. Muscle shirt and khaki shorts on land. That sideways hat is obviously something that will never go out of style. I’ve never seen someone vicariously live through their child more than his dad. He had to be pissed when Bieber got arrested for DUI. He saw all the fancy parties and wine cooler chugging slowly fading away. Clean yourself up JB. You’re dad’s hopes and dreams depend on it.

– Ryan

Pauly D is a Papa

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DJ Pauly D, the onetime Johnston DJ who rose to fame on MTV’s “Jersey Shore” and “The Pauly D Project,” is a father, celebrity-gossip website TMZ reports.

Says TMZ: “The mother is 26, born in Jersey but she met Pauly in Vegas last year. We’re told they hooked up while he was DJing in Sin City. The baby is a few months old, living with her mom.”

The 33-year-old Pauly D, aka Paul DelVecchio, retweeted TMZ’s tweet of its story, and is accepting and retweeting congratulations sent on Twitter.

TMZ quotes him as telling the website: “I’m proud I’m a father. I am excited to embark on this new part of my life.”

Congrats Pauly! Congrats even though the whole world knows this is a Vegas baby. What’s the old adage? “What happens in vegas can grow inside your stomach and be born in Jersey”?….I think that’s the saying.

-MattyV

Here is how I picture Ron Paul finding out.

vwMin

 

 

 

Monster Blog – Royal Baby Name Central

If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! This royal baby nonsense has gone on far enough, and it’s time for the Average Nobodies to put our classy touch on the birth of the century.  Here’s what we know, the baby is a boy…and that’s about it.  So here are our top names we think Kate and Will should consider naming their little bundle of joy.

Prince Indiana Jones of Cambridge

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Right out the gate this kid is going to be a stud, I can feel it.  I mean come on, look at his mom, dad,  aunt, and uncle.  This royal offspring is swimming in good genes, i actually haven’t seen this good a gene pool since the Mannings and the Baldwins.  To complement this kids deadly charm he needs to have a dynamite name.  Prince Indy will be all the rage 20-something years from now.  Named after one of the greatest humans to ever live, Prince Indiana will pick off where Harrison Ford left off, kicking ass and discovering ancient artifacts.  Not to mention he will have good ‘ol Uncle Harry to come along on all of his adventures.

-MattyV

PS- Or we could go with Charlie Daniel’s suggestion

Captain Jacob Van Loon of Cambridge

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I like to picture the royal baby as a infant super villain. From day one he’s a terror for both William and Kate. He refuses to be another pawn in their royal power game, and at age 18, he runs away from home. No one hears from Captain Jacob until a few years later, when he battles his father for the title of undisputed ruler of England. Of course the English version of a power struggle will probably be a fencing match or who can eat the most crumpets in one sitting. Either way, Captain Jacob is going to be one bad ass baby.

P.S. I know the baby’s official title will be prince, but no self respecting villain can call themself a prince. Plus, if Jacob and William are ever on a boat, Jacob will be in charge. There is no higher authority on a boat then a captain.

– Ryan