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Mark My Words: Rob Ford Will Be Back Better Than Ever

Tommy Boy – Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said he is taking a break from his re-election campaign to seek help for alcohol abuse — hours after a local newspaper reported on a new video that allegedly shows him smoking crack cocaine.

“It’s not easy to be vulnerable and this is one of the most difficult times in my life,” Ford said in a statement Wednesday. “I have a problem with alcohol, and the choices I have made while under the influence. I have struggled with this for some time.”

The statement, provided to CNN by Canada’s CTV News, comes after the Toronto Globe and Mail reported on the new video.

In the video purportedly filmed Saturday, the newspaper reports Ford is seen smoking what a drug dealer described to the paper as crack cocaine from a copper-colored pipe. Two Globe and Mail reporters viewed the video, and the publication said it was shot in what appears to be Ford’s sister’s basement.

The paper said the substance in the pipe could not be confirmed.

The video is part “of a package of three videos the dealer said was surreptitiously filmed around 1:15 a.m., and which he says he is now selling for ‘at least six figures,'” the paper reported.

Shortly after the newspaper confronted the Mayor about the video, Ford announced he was taking a break to get help.

“Today, after taking some time to think about my own well-being, how to best serve the people of Toronto and what is in the best interests of my family, I have decided to take a leave from campaigning and from my duties as mayor to seek immediate help,” he said.

His lawyer, Dennis Morris, told CNN that Ford’s leave begins immediately.

“He has to take a break to re-energize, because he realizes he has flaws that have to be addressed,” Morris told CTV.

But Morris told the Globe that he questioned the authenticity of the video, and said it is hard to prove what the Mayor is smoking.

“If these guys are drug dealers and there’s money involved, they can say whatever they want to get more money, to extract more money from the people who are paying,” he said of the seller.

Kind of a bittersweet day for Rob Ford. You don’t want to see this guy disappear into Bolivian but it’s great to see that he realized he needs help. I personally would have stepped down after the first crack video but hey, everybody’s got their own style. Now to the real stuff. It’s REALLY easy to kick a guy when he’s down, especially when it comes to addiction. I’m not going to pretend that I know Canadian politics, because I don’t. I don’t know if he’s a good mayor and frankly I don’t care, just as I’m sure people in Toronto don’t give a shit if the mayor of North Providence is good or not (hint: he’s not). But fate brought Rob Ford into my life and I’ve never been one to question fate. Beyond all the jokes, he seems like a genuinely nice guy. He’s jovial, he’s a sports fan, he doesn’t take himself seriously. Does he have an addiction problem? Yes. Anytime your resorting to crack you have a whopper of a problem. But he’s been on this blog from the beginning, and the Average Nobodies do not leave soldiers behind, crack smokers or not. Hell, he’s even front and center on the website banner. We hope Rob Ford gets the help he needs, then comes back better than ever, less sweaty and crack free. For now, I’m going to listen to that Fuel song on repeat and smile at these pictures.





– Ryan

thanks to @LunaElektraSMC for the tip.

Twitter News Weekly – Jay Leno, Slick Willy, Winter Olympics

-The Average Nobodies

Michael Sutton Eats Rocks


Michael Sutton, 36, was arrested last week after some high school students found him near their school, eating rocks and babbling on about meth, the Des Moines Register reported. – Huff Post

Oh! Eating rocks? Demented move, Michael. Can’t say that i’m surprised though, because once you hit rock bottom what else is there to eat? My question is, what was he eating the rocks with? Was he just plucking rocks off the ground and shoving them in his gullet, or was he dipping them in ketchup or barbecue sauce first? These are the questions that need to be answered.

Also, when someone says “eating rocks” I have to imagine that they are just swallowing them whole. I really doubt any chewing was happening. Rocks are tough as nails. There is no way a meth head could chew through rocks. I’m not even sure my genetically enhanced cow jaw could do that (True story, but for another time).


The Tale of Rob Ford Needs to be a Book/Movie

Ok, Rob, you are a true mad man.
Robford copy

Can we all agree that this looks like a christmas list compared to SMOKING CRACK. These new allegations are just going to keep piling up….like this new one.

Rob Ford, do yourself a favor and go silently into the night. As much as I would like to see you continue on, do it for your wife, and all you have to eat at home…


Goodbye Rob Ford

“Unless Toronto police is part of the vast media conspiracy directed by the Toronto Star — and many in Ford Nation will cling to this nonsensical notion — the Mayor of Toronto is finished.

Rob Ford has repeatedly lied to Torontonians, deceived his political colleagues at city hall and proven himself totally unfit to lead Canada’s largest city.

That is now obvious from hundreds of pages of police documents released through the courts Thursday morning.

And then there is the bombshell from police Chief Bill Blair, namely, that confirms Toronto Star reports were correct when they claimed the existence of video that shows Ford smoking what appears to be crack cocaine.

Police have a computer hard drive with a copy of the video and Ford’s friend Alexander “Sandro” Lisi (charged with drug dealing) now faces added charges of extortion over the video, Blair revealed.

This is the video Ford refused to comment on because, he claimed, it did not exist and he had not seen it.

Blair, speaking for Torontonians as no one else could on a shocking Halloween morning, said he was “disappointed.”

“I’m disappointed. I know this is a traumatic issue for the residents of this city,” Blair said, adding the matter was of “significant public concern.”

Rob Ford is our creation — all of us.”


Farewell you sweaty, obese, crack smoking maniac. Thr fact that you were the mayor of a major city in this world truly defies all logic. We’ll miss you.

– Ryan

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