Advertisements

Blog Archives

The Guy Who Voiced Charlie Brown Went APESHIT On A Judge After He Was Sentenced To 124 Days In Jail

Peter Robbins is not having the greatest day. He also seems to have lost his mind. When I woke up today I didn’t expect to hear Charlie Brown’s voice yelling at a judge because he got sentenced to jail, but that’s the beauty of life sometimes. He’s also not a big fan of his lawyer, and if I had to go out on a limb, he probably doesn’t like people in general. The ‘he’s got a gun!’ part was admittedly my favorite, and now I’m going to watch this video until the end of time.

– Ryan

– via UPROXX

Advertisements

Getting A DWI Driving Home From A DWI Court Appearance Might Be The Lowest Of The Low

DrankAuthorities say a 44-year-old suburban Buffalo man was drunk when he drove away from a courthouse where he had just been convicted of driving while intoxicated.

The Erie County Sheriff’s Office says 44-year-old J.B. Silverthorn of Orchard Park was found guilty of a DWI charge Monday night in Grand Island Town Court. Silverthorn was charged after he crashed his car into the Niagara River on Dec. 29. He was rescued by firefighters.

Deputies say Silverthorn was drunk during Monday’s court appearance and told not to attempt to drive home.

Officers say Silverthorn then got into his car and pulled out of the parking lot before he was stopped by deputies.

Silverthorn was charged with felony DWI. He’s being held Friday in the Erie County jail. It couldn’t be determined if he has a lawyer.

what

For someone with such a cool name, J.B. Silverthorn is not having the best week. Not only does he drive into a river, get rescued by firefighters and then get charged with a DWI, but he shows up to his court hearing drunk, then tries to drive home again. In J.B.’s defense, what kind of police officer tells a drunk guy in court for a DWI not to drive home? That’s what J.B. Silverthorn does. He drives drunk. It doesn’t matter if there’s a river in the way or if he’s at court. He’s going to drink and he’s going to drive around. I have to imagine showing up to a DWI court appearance drunk is against some kind of law, so they probably should have just arrested him right then and there. I feel bad for whoever this guy’s lawyer ends up being too. Kind of tough to defend a guy who shows up for a DWI court appearance and tries to drive home drunk.

– Ryan

Get That Paper Out of Richard Masten’s Face!

Source March.  18 (UPI) — A former Florida police chief  could be spending two weeks behind bars after he ate a piece of evidence during  a court appearance on Friday instead of letting a judge see it. 

Richard Masten of Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers ate a piece of paper with a tip  that had information about a cocaine possession case instead of handing it over  to Judge Victoria Brennan.

Masten refused to reveal the tip because he wanted to protect his informant’s  identity.

“We promise the people who give us information to solve murders, serious  violent crimes in this community, that they can call with an assurance that they  will remain anonymous and that nothing about them or their information would  ever be compromised,” Masten said. “The case today started creeping into that…  it’s not going to happen on my watch and I understood the consequences.”

Brennan found Masten in contempt of court for swallowing the tip.

“The court would be remiss to turn a blind eye to a flagrant refusal to honor  a court order, and give more value to an individual’s opinion on what is right,  rather than to the dictates of the laws enacted by the people of Florida,”  Brennan wrote in her decision.

If Masten is sentenced to serve time when he heads back to court next week,  he’s ready. “I’ll bring a toothbrush and some pajamas in case I do.”

If you think a couple pieces of a paper and a contempt of court charge are going to turn Richard Masten into a snitch then you got another thing coming. If I ever turn government informant I will only work for Richard Masten. He has everything you’d want in a friend: loyalty, wit (he ate paper in court!) and an insatiable appetite to uphold the law. As a side note, I’ve eaten paper before. The circumstances were not as drastic but I’ve done it. Feels good to get that off my chest.

P.S. FLORIDA!

This is How You Get Divorced

If I ever get divorced, this is EXACTLY how I’m handling things. Even if I’m happily married I might get divorced just to be as cool as this guy. This video may only be 17 seconds long but his wife seems a little ungrateful to me. The guy obviously has some serious talent*. He’s living his dream. If I could quote Chris Martin, “nobody said it was easy”. You think Kanye, or Biggie, or Mark Wahlberg rose to fame overnight? Hell no they didn’t. They busted their ass for years. Fame and fortune doesn’t sit on the curb waiting to be picked up. It dances with the daring. And if this anonymous man isn’t daring, then I don’t know who is.

– Ryan

* He should probably find a day job.

Public Masturbation Is Now Legal In Sweden

Public masturbators in Sweden now may be able to get off without charges.

A recent court ruling in Sweden’s Södertörn District Court suggests that masturbating on the beach in Sweden is “OK,” according to public prosecutor Olof Vrethammar.

Vrethammar was prosecuting a 65-year-old who was charged with sexual assault after getting literally caught with his pants down in June, giving himself a sandy handy on a the Drevviken beach in Stockholm, according to The Local’s translation of the Swedish newspaper Mitti.

A ruling which acquitted the man of the sex assault charges this week found that although the he was publicly masturbating, he was not directing his actions at anyone in particular, according to the Local. This was enough to clear him of the sexual assault charge, though it’s unclear if the action is still in violation of other statutes in Sweden.

“With that [ruling],” prosecutor Vrethammar told the Mitti, “we can conclude that it is OK to masturbate on the beach… [although] the act may be considered to be disorderly conduct.”

Dr. Liz Davies of London Metropolitan University has researched Sweden’s child protection system, and told the Daily Mail the court decision surprised her.

“Sweden has a really robust child protection system and very rigorous investigation around sexual abuse,” she said. “So this judgement is surprising given that such an act could be witnessed by children as well as adults.”

Because why not, right? The fact that this trial lasted more than 10 seconds shows you how fucked up Sweden is. You can’t claim to have rigorous child protection laws AND let people jerk off in public. You know what kind of people jerk in off in public? Sex offenders. I’d hate to be in Sweden this weekend. Public masturbation is going to be off the charts.

– Ryan

P.S. At least Devin Brugman still exists. Have a great weekend.

image

%d bloggers like this: