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Twitter News Weekly – Halloween and The Red Sox

-The Average Nobodies

Anonymous North Dakota Woman is Our Annual Example of People Who Take Halloween Too Seriously

(Source) “A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems “moderately obese” a letter instead of candy this Halloween.

I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. … I think it’s just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just ’cause all the other kids are doing it,” the woman said in a morning radio interview with Y-24. She wouldn’t identify herself.

The letter states: “You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season.”

It continues: “My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits.”

North Dakota State University assistant professor of clinical psychology Katie Gordon told Valley News Live in Fargo that the letter could be more emotionally damaging than helpful.

“It’s just that kind of thing that for some kids, if they’re vulnerable, might trigger major problems,” Gordon said. “Even if a child is overweight, they might be very healthy because of what they eat and how they exercise. It’s ineffective anyway because it’s not likely to help the kid.”


Every year somebody’s got to be the hero. There’s always the one house that hands out pennies or stamps or pencils. Single handedly eliminating obesity by not giving the 25 kids who come to your house candy. Have you seen some of these monsters? They’ll probably eat the pennies. Now you’re giving children copper poisoning. Only a sick son of a bitch would give a kid copper poisoning. But this woman is taking it to the next level. Hand writing letters condemning parents for their obese children? That’s some diabolical shit. Talk about having too much time on your hands. The funny thing is this lady honestly thinks she’s going to win a medal or something for doing this. I really hate these people who think they’re superheroes because they’re denying kids candy for a day. I got news for you: these kids get obese because they’re parents let them eat like shit and they’d rather watch tv and play video games than go outside and move around. One less Snicker’s bar on Halloween isn’t going to change that. Stop trying to be a hero and give the kids what they want: delicious, sugary, chocolatey candy.

– Ryan

P.S. Heartbreak city if you get picked out and given this letter. Those kids will never celebrate Halloween again.

No I Don’t Have the Urge to Drink Out of a Toilet, Thanks.

Newest candy in from Japan, sipping out of a toilet? Puke.

HuffPo- Got the urge to drink out of the toilet? Thank goodness for Moko Moko Mokoletto, a bizarre Japanese candy creation. Watch as weird confectionary aficionado RRcherrypie demonstrates how to assemble the mini commode, sprinkle in the mystery powder, add water to the back of the tiny tank and see foam rise in the bowl like fast-action toilet cleaner. Mmm, looks delicious. Now slurp it up with the straw making serious toilet noises, because that’s not at all strange. Talk about having a potty mouth.

This is the worst idea since a Stan Lee Fragrance, it bette rnot make it to the states.

-Sean Lite-

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