Blog Archives

Classic Google Search “Mixup”

large

Michele Catalano was looking for information online about pressure cookers. Her husband, in the same time frame, was Googling backpacks. Wednesday morning, six men from a joint terrorism task force showed up at their house to see if they were terrorists. Which prompts the question: How’d the government know what they were Googling?

A family spending some down time on good ‘ol Google get pinned for being terrorists. I’ve seen this story 100 times…wait…no I haven’t.  Ok, this is getting ridiculous. You’re going to sit there and tell me this is the best way to catch a terrorist? By looking at what people search on Google? Let me tell something, you are going to get some pretty strange combinations out there.  I mean, imagine doing this in a college neighborhood? Google search history: How to make Ramen Noodles, porn, porn, wikipedia, porn, spark notes, porn, porn, wwe, espn, porn.  All you would find are porn addicted plagiarizers. Government, breathe in deep, and take another crack at it.

-MattyV

PS- To test this out I am going to have my roommate search “places to buy harpoon guns” while I search “endangered species habitats” in the other room.  PITA is going to burn my house down.

PSS- Search history on a friends’ phone (no lie): “Danny Trejo’s net worth, Miley Cyrus tits”. One right after the other. What do you think’s going on at his house? Crack that code.

Why Facebook Killed The High School Reunion

facebook_reunion

Yesterday I happened to turn on HBO and what was on? American Reunion.  I haven’t seen the latest installment in the “American” movie saga so I sat, and watched it.  Besides “when will they stop making these movies”, one question jumped out at me: has the traditional high school reunion grown obsolete? Think about it, in this day & age you experience a high school reunion every time you log into Facebook or any other social media site.  You know exactly what all of your friends from high school do for work, what they look like, how many kids they have, how many divorces they have had, and what they had for breakfast.  Is a scheduled party really necessary? Here is how I see my HS reunion going: I stand with the guys I spend 99.9% of my week with, we crack jokes at each others expenses, and we fake wrestle.  We do this in my basement every week, it’s nothing new.  But, maybe someone from our class we haven’t “seen”  in a while comes up to us. Let me explain how this goes:

Me: oh hey, good to see you.
Person X: You too, we should definitely get together soon, it’s been too long.
Me: Oh yea that would be great, we definitely should!

Neither party has any interest in actually seeing the other person until the next reunion or until they run into each other in the grocery store and awkwardly walk by each other with their heads hung low. Listen, I’m not trying to be cynical here, just realistic.  All the people from high school that I want to see I can see, and I do.  Everyone has there own set of friends for a reason, you get along with those people (or in my case, we can coexist without murdering each other. It’s a thin line, but we ride it pretty well…most of the time). Why force friendships? To be friendly? Ok, being friendly is a good excuse. You don’t want to be a grumpy asshole, but don’t waste anyones time by going further than “hi and bye”.

Yea reunions are nice in theory, and I will be attending mine eventually, but they have definitely lost their luster.

-MattyV

PS – O’doyle Rules!

%d bloggers like this: