3some – He went from King of Beers to Cap‘n Crunch.
The kinky captain who drunkenly crashed his love boat while engaged in a three-way sex romp over the weekend won’t be taking pleasure cruises anytime soon — and he’s grounded on land, too.
Craig Gallo, 51, sporting a massive bandage on his forehead and wearing baggy red hospital scrubs, whined when he learned in Queens Criminal Court that both his boating and motor vehicle licenses would be revoked for allegedly operating his fishing vessel while drunk.
“The officer told me it was just going to be my boat license,” he sniffed in court.
“No — both,” Judge Gia Morris sternly replied.
The portly Andover, NJ, man was busy messing around with a pal and a woman they’d just met when his 28-foot Wellcraft boat crashed early Sunday into runway approach lights at La Guardia Airport, sources told The Post.
Gallo later admitted to cops that he’d been drinking and was involved in a boating accident, prosecutors said.
“I was driving, I had a few beers,” Gallo told cops, who noticed he reeked of booze. Gallo, who was arrested in 1999 for urinating in public, refused a Breathalyzer test.
Craig, Craig, Craig. Not your finest hour. I’m not judging here, either. You want to go have a threesome with two 60 year old people? Be my guest. Have yourself a day. But when you just stop captaining the boat and it crashes you really shouldn’t be surprised when the court takes away all your licenses. There are a lot of people I don’t want on the road or the open seas, and Captain Threesome is pretty high on that list. He obviously lacks discipline. What if he’s driving along the freeway and he gets the text “3some asap” and just rolls out of the car? Or what if HE CRASHES HIS BOAT BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING A THREESOME WITH TWO 60 YEAR OLDS? Wait, that already happened? Yeah, how about we never give him back either of those licenses.
Some people just have SWAG coming out of their asses. This has to be the coolest……I am not actually sure what to call it. A water bus, land boat, house van, mega boat? I’m going with mega boat. This just validates that real life Tony Starks’ and Bruce Waynes’ exist. Who else has this type of time and money? But, as awesome as this is, I have one grievance with the creator; why isn’t this also a helicopter? I mean, fuck roads, you could go anywhere in the world with this bad boy. Just toss some copter blades on it. (I’m pretty sure it’s that easy) Why don’t you think a little further outside the box next time. Good first shot though, keep at it.