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Be Sneaky This Weekend

Be sneaky this weekend.

Video Credit – BuzzFeed

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I Have A New Worst Nightmare, and it’s Name is The Peregrine Falcon

I hate birds. Let me rephrase that: I’m deathly afraid of birds. It’s a trait I inherited from my mother, who inherited it from her mother before her. To be honest I’m not quite sure why more people don’t fear them. Have you ever seen a hawk up close? No thanks. I’ll be a stay at home dad who makes sure the floor is washed and the clothes are folded. I was enjoying my day off like any other red blooded American does on a Tuesday (watching Maury) until I stumbled upon this gem of a video. I’ve literally never been more afraid of something in my life. Some fun facts about the peregrine falcon: it’s a raptor, or bird of prey, and it’s one of the most widely distributed species of bird in the world, found in every continent except Antarctica. Looks like I’m buying snow shoes and getting the fuck out of here.

– Ryan

P.S. This just proves those Red Bull athletes are the most insane people on Earth. “Hey Jimmy ride your bike down this mountain, oh and I’m gonna let a raptor chase after you and peck your dick off.”

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee Season 2

Jerry Seinfeld can do no wrong. He gave us Seinfeld. His stand up is all-time. And he wrote Bee Movie. He’s also created a new web series called Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee which is set to debut its second season this Thursday. The concept of the show? It’s literally Jerry Seinfeld driving around in a sweet ass car, picking up legendary comedians, taking them to a coffee shop, and shooting the shit. Last season featured the likes of Ricky Gervais, Mel Brooks, Larry David and world renowned racist Michael Richards. Judging from this teaser trailer season 2 will also have it’s fair share of iconic funny people. Such a simple concept, but Seinfeld has made a career of turning everyday conversation into comedic gold. The rich get richer.

– Ryan

Movie of the Decade

Washington, Wahlberg, AND Paxton!? Movie of the decade! Calling it now.  I mean, how could it not be?! Bill Paxton might rival Lucifer for the greatest heel of all time in this one.  Guys got it all.

-MattyV

P.S. Ryan, how excited is your dad for another Denzel movie? Its been a while.

Making the Rest of Us Look Bad

First off, I have had the same rubik’s cube for 12 years and I have yet to solve it. Secondly, go fuck yourself buddy.  Making the rest of us look like helmet-wearing drooling idiots.  “Ronni Rubik’s Cube” over here is lucky that Biebs decided to go into space or else he would be my main target.  Look at his hands, I can’t even see him twisting the cubes.  This has to be the most impressive juggling act I have ever seen.  Some people would argue flaming swords is, but i’m not convinced.  Flaming swords are way less dangerous than they look (I am basing this off of the 2 times i’ve seen it done).  Hey big shot, i’d like to see how your gonna outdo yourself now.

-MattyV

P.S. Robots will be doing this with 5 cubes before you can blink.  Enjoy the spotlight while you still can.

Lonely Island With Another Hit!

The guys of Lonely Island are back at it! The creators of such jams as ‘I’m on a Boat’ and “I Just Had Sex’, have a new song and video out. Enjoy!

-MattyV

P.S. ‘The Wack Album‘ out June 11th

Just Your Average Sword vs. Nunchuck Fight in an Abandoned Field

It’s all fun and games until you get hit in the throat with a nunchuck. That will stop you in your tracks any day of the week. I gotta say when I started this video I truly had no idea what to expect. You have two semi grown men, one dressed as Inspector Gadget and the other as an extremely overweight Robin Hood. To say they delivered would be the understatement of the century. Frankly I can’t understand a word either of them are saying, and this literally looked like it was filmed in the middle of nowhere.

With that said, how does the kid with the sword not beat the kid with the nunchuk’s? Unless your facing an actual ninja, there is no way in hell you you even let the nunchuk’s get near your throat. Constant stabbing motions until you finally get him, right in the heart. I must say I do love the pageantry. There are method actors and then their are these guys. Putting it all on the line, not for the glory, but for the love of the fight.

P.S. If this is what me and my friends look like when we fake wrestle at the bars then I’m never drinking again.

– Ryan

Happy Memorial Day

Today we pay tribute to the past, present and future members of our armed forces. They are fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives. Above all else, they are heroes. While there will never be a shortage of monsters trying to tear America down, we should be thankful that there are more heroes rushing into nightmares than there are people trying to cause them. Thank you for your service, and God Bless America

– Average Nobodies

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