Blog Archives
If The Flo Doesn’t Whip My Ass Into Shape Then Nothing Will
Talk about the ultimate workout. Forget about P90X and Insanity. I think it’s time the world is reintroduced to The Flo. Literally the most grueling workout I’ve ever witnessed. I’m actually surprised YouTube even allows this video to exist, because it should be illegal to be allowed to get into this good of shape. The best thing about The Flo workout is that it also doubles as a do it yourself exercise. Just find any object that is able to hold water and swing it around your head continuously for hours. On a scale of 1-12 how insane are the people in this workout in real life? I say 104. No one in their right mind is volunteering for this video and actually believing that The Flo is going to work. Either way, I’m trying it out. As the saying goes, if The Flo can’t get you into shape, then you’re just a lazy piece of shit.
– Ryan
P.S. We shouldn’t wonder why so many people are obese when this and prancercising were actual workouts in the 90’s.
King Joffrey Is Playing Games With My Heart
Goddamnit King Joffrey. I hated you so much. You were the personification of evil, and you killed off one of my favorite characters on television. Now I can’t hate you anymore. I just don’t have it in me to hate someone who loves dogs. You have found my soft spot and put it on a stake for all of the seven kingdoms to see.
– Ryan
P.S. Give me 2 minutes of him in season 4 and I’ll hate him again with the fire of a thousand subs.
3 Things Give Me Faith In Humanity
This world is full of hate and uncertainty. But, among the rubble of a society tearing itself apart there are beacons of hope I look to. Once these are gone then we have truly lost our way.
- The High Beam Flash – Your speeding down a road when suddenly someone coming from the opposite way flashes you with their high beams. You immediately slow down and sure enough right around the corner is a cop, just waiting to tag you will a $100+ dollar speeding ticket. EVEN IF YOU WERE ONLY GOING 8 OVER TH…….never mind, I digress. This is the ultimate “help thy neighbor” move. Not to mention I’m pretty sure it’s one of the Ten Commandments. Yeah, something like: “Thou shalt always warn a fellow driver when a pig layith in wait around a bend”. I read that…in a book.
- YouTube Videos – Here’s the scenario, you are setting up your new wifi router and cant get it to work. Obviously you already threw out the manual (who reads those fucking things anyway) so you are kinda screwed. But wait! The best resource on how-to’s since Google is right in front of you; YouTube. The amount of tutorial videos on Youtube is insane to me! How in the world do these people have the time to build and review a piece of furniture they got from Ikea?! Don’t get me wrong, i’m not complaining. I use these videos all the time and I salute the people who make them. Maybe i’ll start making some helpful Youtube videos and stop posting videos of my friends getting hurt. I said MAYBE.
- Halloween – (Credit to Tom Pags) Halloween is the one time of year when people can go door to door to complete strangers house and get free candy! And on the flip side people are opening up their doors to complete strangers dressed at David Bowie and giving them free stuff! Any other time of the year and you are telling those people to take a hike, or in some parts of the country, blowing their heads off with a .22. Other holidays you are only giving to people you know but on Halloween you give to everyone. When Halloween goes, thats when you know its time to panic. A little “FYI” for ya. If your house gives apples you are not participating in Halloween; take a hike.
-MattyV
