Blog Archives
Tom Hanks is a Sweetheart
Sarah Moretti has autism. Sarah Moretti is a Tom Hanks super fan. Of course Tom Hanks goes out of his way to meet her and sign her stuff. That’s what sweetheart’s do. There’s Tom Hanks and then there’s everybody else.
– Ryan
I Just Found the Songbird of the Next Generation
Look I don’t know much. I floated through school, and I’d much rather drink a beer than read a book. With that said, I do recognize talent. This baby might not be able to speak or walk, but it will become the next big thing. That’s what happens when you watch footage of the greatest performer/ man with the best mustache ever. If there’s one person who’s life path I’d wish to follow it’s Freddie. Just a flawless, mistake free life in the fast lane. I never thought I’d be jealous of a baby, but I guess that’s what YouTube is for: to make me jealous of a person who literally shits their pants all day.
– Ryan
I Didn’t Feel Like Sleeping This Weekend Anyway
The scariest part of this entire ordeal is that this commercial aired during Red Sox post game coverage last night. I didn’t have to dig deep into the bizarre underworld of YouTube videos to find this; it found me. And now I’m forever scarred. Make no mistake about it, if you buy the Perfect Polly Pet you’re basically saying you quit on life. The only thing worse than having an actual bird as a pet is having a robot bird for a pet. I have to imagine this is what Hell is like, being trapped in a house with a robot bird for the rest of eternity. Unless you’re Petey the blind kid you have no business owning this horrible creation.
– Ryan
P.S. Pretty bird, pretty bird..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBqNYs9GEpw&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Cam Zink (awesome name) with Your Average 78 Foot Backflip on a Mountain Bike
These Red Bull athletes are insane. Just riding a mountain bike through the desert, doing backflips 80 feet in the air. As a 25 year old who can barely ride a bike, I give these guys a lot of credit, which I think is better than praise coming from their peers. I’m sure all these extreme athletes theoretically blow each other everyday, telling each other how good they are. Praise from the outside world is probably gold to them. Cam Zink deserves my golden praise. Awesome name, awesome trick. By the way who ever did that commentary needs a job hosting something that people watch ASAP.
– Ryan
P.S. Every time I see an extended video of the desert I think of Breaking Bad and a cloud of sadness engulfs me.
Danny McBride Did a Commercial for Cat Wine on Jimmy Kimmel Live
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaAxwehEG00&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Danny McBride has to be one of the five funniest people on the planet. If you put anyone besides Will Ferrell in this it would be a dud, but Danny somehow makes it funny. In unrelated news, I think I’m stocking up on cat wine for the long winter. If there’s one thing I learned in college it’s that you can never have enough cat wine.
– Ryan
If You Cut Off Traffic On Your Motorcycle Shia LaBeouf Will Stare Into Your Soul
You know what? I’m glad Shia LaBeouf stole this girl’s soul from her. People on bikes thinks they rule the road, and just because they’re bike is small enough to create a middle lane they think they can skip out on traffic. Because everyone else in a car or truck is having the time of their lives sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. Whenever I’m in heavy traffic I can’t wait to get home and call my parents to tell them about what an enjoyable experience it was. If I’m being honest, watching someone skip out on that traffic and zoom by me in the middle lane makes it that much worse. At least I can look over at the car next to me and know that that person is just as miserable as me.
After watching this video, I just feel bad for people who use this move now. I’m 99% sure Shia knows all this girl’s secrets and desires. All her wants and needs are now apart of him, and he owns her soul. If you think you’re gonna zip through traffic repercussion free while Shia LaBeouf is around you’re wrong. Dead wrong.
– Ryan
Jimmy Fallon and Paul McCartney Switch Accents and It’s Awesome
Jimmy Fallon could sell ketchup Popsicles to a woman in white gloves right now. Every sketch he does is all time. I’m also 99% sure Paul McCartney doesn’t age.
– Ryan
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