Advertisements

Blog Archives

James Lincoln Collier Proving Once Again You Can’t Trust People With Three Names

Oh dearThe WHAT in the White House?

Well-heeled West Villagers will be in for a rude surprise when they open the latest copy of their local newspaper and see the headline, “The N—-r in the White House” — except without the dashes.

The shocking headline in the WestView News is a reference to President Obama and sits at the top of Page 15 above an opinion piece that criticizes what it calls the anti-black “racism” of far-right voters.

The convoluted screed by author and journalist James Lincoln Collier is actually a pro-Obama piece — but that didn’t stop West Villagers from decrying the printing of the slur.

image

Ah. Well this escalated quickly. Firstly, this goes back to my theory that you can’t trust people with three names. John Wilkes Booth. Mark David Chapman. James Lincoln Collier. The first two were assassinators. The third is an 86 year old white male who thinks it’s OK to put the N word in a newspaper headline describing our current President. You’d think someone who knew he was going to run a piece that would receive this much backlash would have a better excuse than “well I was nice to him in the article, though”. I don’t care if you nominated him for the Human of the Year award, you still called him the N word! In what universe is that OK? Maybe on Mars, where I heard they’re horrible racists. But on planet Earth, you gotta be better than that. Gotta be.

– Ryan

Advertisements

Happy Birthday Derek Jeter!

Not Funny

Just kidding. Prepare to be heckled like no other athlete has ever been heckled before on Saturday night.

– Ryan

Come Back to Papa, Tyson Chandler

Mavs – The Dallas Mavericks are on the verge of reacquiring center Tyson Chandler from the New York Knicks, according to sources close to the process.

Sources told ESPN.com that the Mavericks, who immediately made reacquiring Chandler one of their priorities after their first-round playoff exit against San Antonio, soon will complete a trade with the Knicks that they will clinch by agreeing to take back the contract of New York’s out-of-favor guard, Raymond Felton, as well.

The trade is expected to cost Dallas two starters — point guard Jose Calderon and center Samuel Dalembert — along with prized young point guard Shane Larkin, reserve guard Wayne Ellington and future second-round draft compensation.

It's Happening Hi Res

Let’s get the championship squad back together. Get Jason Kidd and Jason Terry out of Brooklyn. Get Peja out of retirement. Get DeShawn Stevenson out of jail. Repeat city. Samuel Dalembert, I can honestly say you are the only person I’ve ever seen who is 7 feet tall and not be able to make a layup. That should be scientifically impossible. And Raymond, leave the guns at home. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

– Ryan

 

Captain Craig ‘Threesome’ Gallo is Upset His Boating & Drivers License Got Taken Away

3someHe went from King of Beers to Cap‘n Crunch.

The kinky captain who drunkenly crashed his love boat while engaged in a three-way sex romp over the weekend won’t be taking pleasure cruises anytime soon — and he’s grounded on land, too.

Craig Gallo, 51, sporting a massive bandage on his forehead and wearing baggy red hospital scrubs, whined when he learned in Queens Criminal Court that both his boating and motor vehicle licenses would be revoked for allegedly operating his fishing vessel while drunk.

“The officer told me it was just going to be my boat license,” he sniffed in court.

“No — both,” Judge Gia Morris sternly replied.

The portly Andover, NJ, man was busy messing around with a pal and a woman they’d just met when his 28-foot Wellcraft boat crashed early Sunday into runway approach lights at La Guardia Airport, sources told The Post.

Gallo later admitted to cops that he’d been drinking and was involved in a boating accident, prosecutors said.

“I was driving, I had a few beers,” Gallo told cops, who noticed he reeked of booze. Gallo, who was arrested in 1999 for urinating in public, refused a Breathalyzer test.

image

Craig, Craig, Craig. Not your finest hour. I’m not judging here, either. You want to go have a threesome with two 60 year old people? Be my guest. Have yourself a day. But when you just stop captaining the boat and it crashes you really shouldn’t be surprised when the court takes away all your licenses. There are a lot of people I don’t want on the road or the open seas, and Captain Threesome is pretty high on that list. He obviously lacks discipline. What if he’s driving along the freeway and he gets the text “3some asap” and just rolls out of the car? Or what if HE CRASHES HIS BOAT BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING A THREESOME WITH TWO 60 YEAR OLDS? Wait, that already happened? Yeah, how about we never give him back either of those licenses.

– Ryan

Add RoboCop to the List of People (?) Who Threw Out a Better First Pitch Than 50 Cent

When a futuristic robot/killing machine who has no rang of motion throws out a better first pitch than you, you know you’re in trouble. In 50 Cent’s defense, he looks way better than RoboCop in an extra small muscle shirt.

image

– Ryan

50 Cent Threw One Hell of A First Pitch at Last Night Met’s Game

Not 50 Cent’s brightest moment. It’s almost as if he momentarily lost control his left arm and it just kind of flailed the ball towards the plate. Need a better effort than that. Just piss poor all around.

– Ryan

P.S. Love the non reaction of the photographer. He was getting that shot whether he took a baseball off the skull or not.

The Atlah World Missionary Church Seems to Have a Solid Grasp on Reality

image

Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man.

There are few things I loathe more than a hateful sign with bad grammar. Is this Atlah church only warning one black woman? Or black women in general? Maybe next time pick a member of your clergy that went to middle school and assign them to sign duty. And poor Barack Obama. I’m not saying he’s the greatest president in the world but accusing someone of unleashing homosexual demons on his own citizens is a pretty horrible accusation. If you want to raise taxes or cut military spending be my guest, but you leave those homosexual demons out of it. It’s sad that a group of people like this church exist, but I guess that’s the world we live in. Just watch out for those homosexual demons, guys. I heard they can be persuasive.

– Ryan

P.S. “The Blood of Jesus” is the least catchy name of all time.

Alec Baldwin is the Latest Celebrity to Claim He’s Leaving the “Public Life”; Does Anyone Care?

SourceAlec Baldwin says he’s quitting public life and possibly leaving New York City in a new 5,000-plus word essay in New York magazine — as told to writer Joe Hagan.

“I loathe and despise the media in a way I did not think possible,” Baldwin explained in the piece titled “Good-bye, Public Life.” “This is the last time I’m going to talk about my personal life in an American publication ever again.”

Now tell us how you really feel, Baldwin. And he does. The former “30 Rock” star touches upon — well pretty much everything — from his one-time MSNBC show, his many paparazzi run-ins and even his feud with Shia LaBeouf during the Broadway production of “Orphans.” Though he says he’s felt sorry for LaBeouf after his latest shenanigans, citing the “I Am Not Famous Anymore” bag.

To view Baldwin’s essay in it’s entirety, click here.

reactiongifs animated gif on Giphy

I don’t know what its like to be a celebrity. I don’t know what its like to have a camera shoved in my face everywhere I go. I don’t know what its like to have mine or my family’s privacy violated. There is a price for fame, and apparently the lengths the current generation of media are willing to go to in order to gain some inside knowledge is too much for some celebrities to handle. First there was Shia LaBeouf, who seems to have lost his mind and replaced it with a paper bag. Now it’s Alec Baldwin’s turn to shun the spotlight, the very spotlight that gave him his cushy New York home and the ability to move his new wife and child wherever he pleases. You’ll have to excuse me if I’m not dripping with sympathy, but there are far more people in far worse situations than Alec Baldwin. Unfortunately, we (myself included) are permanently fixated on celebrities in our culture. For the most part, celebrities are also fixated on the attention we give them. After all, what’s a movie star without their adoring fans paying to see his/her movie? What’s a rock star without their adoring fans paying to see his/her show? Now we’ve reached a point where celebrities want us to give them enough attention to be famous, but not so much where it effects their private lives. That’s a mighthy thin line, and we really have no way of walking across it without falling into chaos. So if celebrities really want to leave public life, then they should. Don’t put on an art exhibit. Don’t write a 5000 word essay for a major magazine publication. Just leave. I’m sure we’ll find someone new to fixate on.

– Ryan

%d bloggers like this: