Blog Archives

Jimmy Fallon Chugged A Beer From His Front Row Seat At The Yankees Game Because He’s The Coolest Guy In The World

Jimmy Fallon lives the life. Just a casual Thursday night at the Yankees game with Lorne Michaels sitting in the first row right behind home plate. Being the consummate showman that he is, Fallon decided to put on a show of his own and casually chug a beer during the 7th inning. That’s what big boys do. They go to freezing cold games in April with Lorne Michaels and chug beers. I honestly couldn’t be more jealous of Jimmy Fallon if I tried. His JOB is to interview the most interesting people in the world and ask them to tell stories and/or sing with them. His downtime consists of hanging out with Lorne Michaels at baseball games. That is the life. The context for this is that earlier in the night, Jacoby Ellsbury fouled a pitch straight back and Fallon flinched, knocking off his own hat. When Beltran did it later in the game, Fallon had enough and decided the only remedy on that cold night was to drink a beer. Jimmy Fallon’s world takeover isn’t slowing down anytime soon.

– Ryan

Nike’s Tribute Video to Derek Jeter is Perfect

Jeter and Nomar debuted in the major leagues around the same time. As a Red Sox fan, the excitement for Nomar was only comparable to the Yankees excitement for Jeter. They were both great players in their prime, and Nomar will be a hometown favorite for the rest of his life, but he never became anything close to Jeter. Jeter  was everything you ever wanted in a franchise baseball player: a winner, a pro, a great defender and even better hitter who played one of the hardest positions in the game. This tip of the cap video is well done and more importantly, well deserved. Farwell to The Captain.

– Ryan

Happy Birthday Derek Jeter!

Not Funny

Just kidding. Prepare to be heckled like no other athlete has ever been heckled before on Saturday night.

– Ryan

Michael Pineda Might Be the Dumbest Athlete of All Time

Source – New York Yankees starting pitcher Michael Pineda was ejected from Wednesday night’s game with the Boston Red Sox in the second inning for having a foreign substance on his neck that he was applying to the baseball.

In a bizarre sequel to an April 10 game between the Yankees and Red Sox, in which Pineda was suspected of having pine tar on the palm of his pitching hand, Red Sox manager John Farrell asked home plate umpire Gerry Davis to check Pineda.

After a mound conference in which Davis checked Pineda’s hand, the ball, and finally, the right side of his neck, Pineda was ejected from the game. At the time, Pineda had a 1-2 count onGrady Sizemore. He was replaced by David Phelps, who completed the strike out.

I don’t want to kick a guy when he’s down but how dumb can one person be? I thought the  guy with “murder” tattooed on his neck was dumb, but Michael Pineda might take the cake here. The Red Sox were obviously skeptical of him using pine tar to get a better grip on the ball the last time they played two weeks ago, so what does he do?



He puts a shit ton of pine tar on his neck. That’s as obvious as it gets. If people really think John Farrell did something wrong here then they need to get their head examined. He let it go in Yankee Stadium. He even let it go during the first inning tonight. But if Pineda is going to be an asshole about it then he’s going to get thrown out of the game. And for any Yankee fans chirping, we were SHELLING Pineda over the first inning and two thirds. You should count yourself lucky we took him out of the game for you. With the most recent incident now behind him, I fully expect Pineda to go to the mound with a jar labeled “pine tar” for his next start.

– Ryan


The Doctah – If Only Barry Bonds Would Have Known


So Alex Rodriguez, former shortstop for the Seattle Mariners, is in a lot of trouble as the New York Yankee’s third basemen, for taking synthesized supplements. Barry Bonds broke the record for home runs, but he took STEROIDS, so it doesn’t count.

If only they would have known what they were putting in their body. HGH is human growth hormone. They synthesize this hormone, mix it with some chemicals, and sell it legally as HGH. Athletes, like Barry Bonds, take HGH, or Steroids to up their testerone and boost their ability. However, this sh*t (and I say shit in every literal sense of the word) that they put in their bodies is derived from food. Yes, food. No, not POPTARTS. FOOD, as in superfoods.

Now if they ate these superfoods, they might actually have been able toUnknown play the game of baseball with no associated drama. These foods are specifically CHIA SEEDS. Yes, Chia, the shit you used to watch grow right before your very eyes. Think about it, the prefix “CHI” means life force energy. So “Chi-a” … means … life force energy in something. Hmmm? So these foods contain more HGH than steroids in just a teaspoon. AND you can eat them all day long.

EAT THEM, watch your body grow. COUGH COUGH, this may benefit a

handful of you. You can google it because google will tell you more than the JobsStein Monster, but you should educate yourself.

Oh, and if you have Barry Bonds’s number, call him, tell him, it could of all been avoided.


The Doctah

Derek Jeter is Calling it A Career


After this season, and after playing a spectacular 20 season career with the Yankees, Derek Jeter is ready to move on to life after baseball.

First Mo, now Jeets? I can’t imagine the emotions flowing through New Yorkers right now, but I imagine it looks something like this.




Why Jacoby Ellsbury Going to the Yankees Isn’t the End of the World

Jacoby Ellsbury, Boston Red Sox, 5/9/2013

When Johnny Damon signed with the New York Yankees after the 2005 season, I was pissed off. Boggs and Clemens glory years with the Sox were before my time, so when they both eventually signed with the Yankees, I was indifferent. But Damon was our guy. He grew that Jesus beard. He was a free spirit in the clubhouse. He single handedly won game 7 of the ALCS for us in Yankee stadium. Everything about him screamed Red Sox. Then he shaved his beard, cut his hair (and his balls) and put on those pinstripes. He deserted us in the worst way possible. I’ll never forgive him for that.

When news broke of Jacoby Ellsbury signing with the NYY last night, I felt empty. It always sucks when one of your guys goes to the dark side, but Ellsbury was different. He helped my Red Sox win two world series titles in 7 years. He came in as a rookie in 2007 and captivated Red Sox nation with his speed and aggressiveness. He was plagued by injuries through much of his Red Sox career, but fans always gave him a pass, because when he was good, he was one of the best we had. When the Red Sox won the world series this past October, there was a lot of talk in the media about legacies. Dustin Pedroia, the “dirt dog”, always playing through injuries, always giving 100%, a guy you wanted on your team and a guy who was going to retire a Boston Red Sox. Unless something catastrophic happens, Pedroia will go down as one of the greatest Red Sox of all time. Two world series victories. David Ortiz. The best crunch time athlete of my lifetime. I was on vacation in Florida for the 2004 ALCS. I’ll never forget exactly where I was for games 4-7. To this day, it’s one of the best series of days in my entire life. I’m not sure where this franchise would be without David Ortiz, and I’m glad we don’t have to worry about it. Three world series. (Think about that: 85 years before David Ortiz – 0 World Series. 11 years with Ortiz – 3 World Series)

That brings us to Ellsbury. I spent most of last night and this morning looking for a picture that embodied Jacoby’s stay here in Boston. That’s usually a task I fail at, but this time, I think I found it. The picture at the beginning of the article is Jacoby leaping for a fly ball  but coming up just short. That’s his tenure with the Red Sox in a nutshell. He never quite got there, to that upper echelon of sports figures we always thought he’d reach. Before I go any further, I would like to say that I loved watching Jacoby Ellsbury play baseball. I was 19 when he came in as a rookie and helped us win a world series. I’ve seen him steal home plate, get clutch hits, and cover center field at Fenway Park like very few others have. He was, and should continue to be, a great player. But he’s not a franchise guy. You can tell just by looking at him. He doesn’t have the intensity of Pedroia. He doesn’t have the personality of Ortiz. He plays the game, gets his paycheck, and goes home. No more, no less. He wasn’t a clubhouse leader. He was an extremely talented ballplayer, who, to his credit, handled playing in this environment very well. I expect the same thing to happen in New York. Maye we’ll miss him, maybe we won’t. Only time will tell. I’ll leave you with one final stat, and keep in mind, this is a center field who just got a contract worth close to $22 million dollars a year. 18, 158, 74, 134. Those are Jacoby Ellsbury’s games played over the last 4 seasons. See ya in October, Jacoby. If you’re lucky.

– Ryan

Slightly Less Than 1/3 Of The Way Through The Season Report Card

Probably not the greatest title for a blog post, but I think it’s time we show a certain team from Boston some respect. While diehard fans and every hot girl within 100 miles of Boston are praising the Bruins, I’ve been quietly watching my Red Sox play their best baseball in 3 years. Everyone knows about the 2011 collapse, as well as their 2012 campaign with quite possibly the worst manager in the history of sports (Bobby V). That’s all in the past. During the offseason, they hired a no nonsense manager (Farrell) who understands the city and the goals of the team due to his prior stint with the ballclub as Tito Francona’s pitching coach. They also went back to former GM Theo Epsteins successful approach that won them two world series’. Instead of breaking the bank on free agent signings (Crawford, Gonzalez) they signed quality guys to reasonable contracts who are accustomed to winning and won’t bitch when things don’t go their way (Victorino, Napoli).

In just 59 games, they’ve completely changed the perception of the team. It’s truly amazing. They’ve gone from the laughing stock of the league to division leader, and while we still have a lot of baseball to play, I’d rather be in 1st after 59 games than last. They’re winning with good pitching, timely hitting and have created a positive vibe around the ballpark. Pedrioa and Ortiz are hitting better than at any point in their careers, while the emergence of Daniel Nava and recent success of Jose Iglesias have been welcome surprises. Clay Bucholz and Jon Lester are a combined 14-2, while Andrew Bailey, Junichi Tazawa and Koji Uehara have solidified the bullpen. The most impressive aspect of this team is their ability to succeed while major parts of their team have been hurt. Joel Hanrahan, the all-star closer Boston signed in the off season, was a total bust. He had just 4 saves and an ERA near 10 before he blew out his elbow and was lost for the season. Bucholz and Lackey have both missed starts, while closer, setup man and now closer again Andrew Bailey also spent time on the DL. With Will Middlebrooks and Shane Victorino both on the DL, the Sox have posted a 7-3 record in their last 10 games, the last 4 without CF Jacoby Ellsbury. Maybe you can contribute this to an easy schedule. The Sox are currently in a stretch where they play 32 games in 34 days, which, warm weather or not, is quite draining. The Sox are 1st in the AL in runs, 3rd in batting average, and 2nd in on base and slugging percentage. They’re currently 36-23, which is good for 1st in the A.L. East, 2 1/2 games ahead of the surprisingly good Yankees. The Bruins may currently have Boston’s heart, but I for one am glad the Red Sox are back.

– Ryan

P.S. If the Red Sox go on any type of losing streak in the next week I will never write about them again.