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Today in Misleading Headlines, Anthony Hopkins Spits Blood in a Cops Face and Tells the Cop He Has Hepatitis C

SourceAn Indiana man is facing multiple charges after he allegedly spit blood into the mouth and face of a police officer and told the officer he had Hepatitis C.

Anthony J. Hopkins, 27, was in the process of being arrested in the early morning hours of April 12 for allegedly fighting with an unknown person, then attempting to flee from officers.

In recently released police documents reported by The Indy Channel on Monday, one witness described being fearful of Hopkins.

Officers eventually found Hopkins hiding in a basement crawl space. A K-9 officer was used to remove Hopkins from the area, causing bite wounds to the suspect, according to The Star Press.

After coming out of the crawl space, Hopkins turned around, spit blood onto an officer’s face and in his mouth, and said, “F-ck you, I hope you die,” according to the report.

As the officer who had been spit on tried leading the suspect up the basement stairs, Hopkins allegedly struggled against him, sending them both falling down the stairs. Officers eventually managed to get Hopkins outside.

“You know I have Hep C,” Hopkins allegedly said as he spat blood on the back of a patrol car once outside.

“I hope you get Hep C and give it to your wife and kids,” Hopkins reportedly said. “Once I get out of here I’m going to kill you and your family…”

Pretty horrible story, right? Well this is what the headline looked like on the yahoo home page:

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Talk about misleading. How is that your headline for this story? Anyone with a brain looks at that and thinks oh my Jesus Anthony Hopkins has lost his mind/when did he get Hep C? When I found out it wasn’t THE Anthony Hopkins I was kind of relieved but then I read the rest of the story. Talk about something escalating quickly. This cop probably thought he was responding to an ordinary drunk and disorderly and then he met Anthony Hopkins. Not only was it not the actor but it was one of the worst humans in history. Anthony Hopkins also kind of sealed his fate too, as I can’t imagine threatening a cops family is taken lightly. Moral of the story: Anthony Hopkins does NOT have Hepatitis C.

– Ryan

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SXSW 2014 in Pictures

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Beer + Street Meat + Average Nobodies = BlissIMG_20140310_111550 IMG_20140311_153304
Waiting to see Jimmy Kimmel Live from Austin! IMG_20140311_185207 IMG_20140309_110116 IMG_20140309_110339IMAG0069
Getting ready for our mission to MarsIMG_20140309_110845 1394729787646 1394729865897IMG_20140309_224019 IMG_20140309_225544
This man [Sunny Wolf] has the fingers of an angelIMG_20140308_213245 IMG_20140309_093626
A little shameless self-promoting never hurt anyone IMG_20140309_095542 IMG_20140309_104645download_20140308_101553_20140308_101440
Walking the red carpet like a couple of big timersdownload_20140313_110943DSC03013
Seth Rogan, Zach Effron, Mclovin, Ike Barinhotltz, and Dave Franco!DSC03018 DSC03020
Jon FaverauIMAG0055

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Can you tell we were in Texas?IMAG0083
Getting ready to shoot Twitter News Weekly from the streets of Austin!DSC03023
Q&A from Tye Sheridan and Nick Cage after their movie ‘Joe’

Face Tattoo’s and Crazy Names are In

FacedThe most tattooed man in Great Britain, formerly known as Matthew Whelan, has spent over $40,000 covering 90 percent of his body in tattoos. In 2009, Matthew changed his name to King Of Ink Land King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite. Yes, that’s now his full name. King Of Ink Land King Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite was recently offered work overseas doing body modification so he applied for a passport, but was denied because of his unconventional name, even though it already appears on his driver’s license

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I’m on the side of King here (names too long to spell it out every time). If he were to walk up to me and introduce himself as ‘Matt’ Id laugh in his face and punch him in the stomach. You can’t spend $40,000 and go through all the pain and suffering of tattooing 90% of your body and then keep your given, boring name. Would I have gone with such a long and repetitive name? Probably not. I mean we get it, you’re the King. But I also have one tattoo that cost me $60. I have to imagine the face tattoo community has seen a lot of shit, so it’s either go big or go home when it comes to the name change. Long live King of Ink Land King Body Art the Extreme Ink-ite.

– Ryan

Cuddle Up To Me is Apparently a Real Company Where People Pay a Stranger to Cuddle With Them

(Source) “Looking for a little extra affection? Meet Sam Hess, a 29-year-old cuddle professional who makes a living by selling snuggles to those in need. Hess is part of a new breed of business people who believe that touch, no matter who it comes from, is the key to a happy life. She hatched the idea after watching a YouTube experiment in which two men offered free or paid hugs to people on the street. “People paid for hugs more than they took the free ones, and I realized that there’s real value in affection,” Hess tells Yahoo Shine. “My friends and boyfriend were a little wary at first, but once they realized I was serious about it, they were supportive.” Hess’s Portland, Oregon based company, called Cuddle Up To Me, offers two basic packages: A 30-minute session for $35 and a 60-minute session for $60 (She charges a $1 per minute in overtime), during which Hess and her client might hold hands, cuddle up on the couch, or spoon to the tune of her “cuddle playlist,” which includes classic music and hits by Phil Collins and Jack Johnson. There are also prepaid weekly sessions and a flat rate for overnight stays. However, before she does business, Hess conducts a free 45-minute meet-and-greet in a public place such as a coffee shop, to assess the intentions of potential clients. “I need to know where a person is coming from so I know what I’m walking into,” she explains.  

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This is sad. Not “someones dying” sad, but the “he’s sitting all by myself at the restaurant” type of sad. Who’s paying someone $60 an hour to cuddle with them? Splurge and pay the extra $100 for a prostitute like a normal person. I don’t care how many write ups Sam gets Yahoo or any other website to do. This is weird and anyone who thinks otherwise is weird. Buy a teddy bear. Go out in society and meet people. Basically do anything but pay a stranger to come cuddle with you.

– Ryan

P.S. The only thing I’m on board with is the choice of Phil Collins for this girl’s cuddle playlist. I’d love to cuddle to Phil’s angelic voice. Again, just not with a stranger.

Michael Beasley Beat the Shit Out of Himself During the Heat’s Preseason Game

(Source) “Michael Beasley is pretty hard on himself sometimes. Beasley received his first minutes of playing time and he was great. He scored nine points in his first five minutes of action and was diving on the floor and doing things coaches generally like to see out of players trying to make a roster. Of course, Beasley also did something a little odd after one offensive play. Upset with himself over missing a shot, Beasley started punching himself in the head while running back on defense. He punched himself so hard that he needed treatment after the game from the Heat’s trainer. Steel compresses (like the ones cut doctors use in boxing) were applied to Beasley’s brow in the locker room.”

Anyone who has ever wondered why Michael Beasley never panned out should look no further than this story. He’s on the best team in the world, with the best player in the world, and all he has to do is not be an asshole and he’ll win an NBA title. What does he do? He scores 9 points in 5 minutes (very good) and punches himself repeatedly in the head after a missed shot (very bad). Punching yourself in the head so hard that you need medical treatment is the definition of being an asshole. Somebody get Beasly a bag of skittles and some Sprite for that self inflicted hangover pronto.

– Ryan

George Clooney is the Prettiest Girl at the Bar

(Source) “How do you like your eggs, George? A source reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly that George Clooney, 52, had a sleepover with Croatian model Monika Jakisic, an on-and-off fling since 2004, at his L.A. mansion on Sept. 25.”

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Classic Clooney. Stacy Kiebler wants to go public with her new tech boyfriend? George will just casually have a sleepover with his ex girlfriend, who happens to be one of the hottest woman I’ve ever seen in my life. You don’t play this game with Clooney. His little black book is filled with so many beautiful women it’ll make your head spin. Monika is definitely the hottest girl in Croatia, too. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life. Clooney wins again.

– Ryan

P.S. A lot of people say Leo has the best list of women i.e. dating wise. I think Clooney blows him out of the water.

Barbie Thomas, The Armless Bodybuilder

(Source) “Barbie Thomas lost both her arms at the age of 2. She was playing outside her Texas apartment complex and climbed onto a transformer, grabbling on to the wires. The electric current traveled through her little body, from her hands out her feet, burning her arms to the bone.

“They were like charcoal,” she writes in her biography on her website, Fitness Unarmed “They were completely dead and had to be amputated at the shoulders.”

No one expected Thomas to live. But today, at 37, she has accomplished what was once regarded as the impossible: Thomas is a competitive body builder and model.

“I thank God I am alive,” said Thomas, who now lives in Phoenix with her two sons, aged 13 and 17. She uses her shoulders as arms, which her children call her “nubs.”

Barbie Thomas does not miss leg day at the gym, which I guess is pretty crucial when you don’t have arms. This is obviously an inspiring story but is this legal? I have to imagine there is nothing in the bodybuilding rulebook that states you must have arms, but come on. Every other competitor has to make sure their entire physique is perfect. Not Barbie Thomas. Abs and legs. That’s it. Contestant #3 doesn’t have toned biceps? Barbie Thomas doesn’t have any biceps. Either way, good for you Barbie. All is fair in love and armless bodybuilding.

– Ryan

P.S. The fact that a woman with no arms is in better shape than me really ruined my day.

King Mswati III’s Days Are Numbered

King Mswati III of Swaziland pictured during his visit to Taylor's University near Kuala Lumpur on July 3, 2013

(Source) “Swaziland’s King Mswati III has chosen an 18-year-old beauty pageant contestant as his 14th wife, a palace spokesman said Tuesday, days before a much-criticized parliamentary vote.

“I can confirm that the king has introduced to the nation a new liphovela (royal fiancee),” said Ludzidzini palace governor Timothy Mtetwa.

Mswati, a 45-year-old who is sub-Saharan Africa’s last absolute monarch, introduced Sindiswa Dlamini at a Reed Dance celebration over the weekend, Mtetwa told AFP.

She wore red feathers on her head — a sign of royalty.

The young woman graduated from Mbabane’s St. Francis High School last year and is a finalist in the Miss Cultural Heritage beauty pageant. The winner will be announced on September 28.

The king has come under fire for his household’s lavish lifestyle while the tiny mountain kingdom’s 1.2 million people struggle to make a living.

Mswati reportedly has a personal fortune of around $200 million (152 euros) and the UN estimates that 70 percent of his 1.2 million subjects live below the poverty line.

He has steadfastly resisted reforms.

The new engagement was announced at a festival which also counted regional delegates who will observe parliamentary elections on Friday.

Critics have slammed the polls as a sham, partly because political parties are banned and candidates are hand-picked by traditional leaders.

The weekend’s celebrations were a smaller repeat of last month’s official annual Reed Dance, where young virgins from across the kingdom gather and dance for the king.

“It just happened that the international community was there to witness the event,” said Mtetwa.

The wedding only takes place once the fiancee falls pregnant. Dlamini will then become Mswati’s 14th wife.

The monarch’s colourful private life is off-limits in local media, but has drawn a lot of international interest.

Three wives left the household in recent years. The latest, Queen LaGija, fled the palace in 2012 claiming years of physical and emotional abuse.

Another queen, LaDube, was reportedly abused after she was caught in bed with the justice minister, a close friend of the king.

Mswati had kidnapped and married the queen when she was 16 in 2005.”

King Mswati is just kind of doing whatever he wants over in Swaziland. Kidnapping girls and marrying them. Having a personal fortune over $200 million while 70% of the country is living below the poverty line. Real humanitarian. Well I have news for you King, you just made the list. The list of human rights violators that George Clooney takes out for a living. He does Spanish coffee commercials, builds spy satellites and spies on your ass until you submit. It kind of sucks to be King Mswati at this point. Yeah he’s rich and a king but Clooney is fresh off a breakup. He will show this fat bitch no mercy. I smell a 15 some with Clooney and the kings wives. I never thought I would be this jealous of so many women from Swaziland

– Ryan

P.S. Clooney

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