WWE TLC is this Sunday. We have a ladder match. We have a tables match. We have a chairs match. We have a stairs match. We have a tables, ladders, chairs and possibly stairs match. There’s 9 matches on the card (including the pre show) which seems kind of bloated, so hopefully the key matches get enough time to shine. As always, you can watch this show on the WWE Network. It’s no longer free, but at $9.99 it’s an incredible bargain. After last nights incredible NXT show, WWE better bring their A game Sunday. Let’s get to the preview and predictions!

The New Day (Kofi and Big E) vs. Gold and Stardust

How the mighty have fallen. Gold and Stardust have gone from feuding with The Authority to getting re packaged to winning the tag team titles to fighting The New Day on the pre show. I don’t mind The New Day, but a gimmick with three guys dressed in the same outfits jumping up and down and clapping is not going to work in 2014. I think they’d have a lot better chance of succeeding if they made Xavier Woods the mouth piece manager with an edge and let Kofi and Big E do their thing in the ring. Unfortunately for Gold and Stardust, their job seems to be to elevate The New Day.

Prediction: The New Day, with hopefully something other than a high cross body from Kofi.

Divas Championship Match: Nikki Bella (C) vs. AJ Lee

I don’t want AJ to lose, because searching for AJ Lee gifs is always a bright spot in my day. But Nikki has been fun to watch since her impressive showing at Summerslam, and something tells me that there’s more to Brie realigning with her sister. AJ is kind of in a rut, as creative really has nothing for the majority of the Divas, but at least she has a match on the card.

Prediction: Nikki Bella wins, which would essentially move AJ Lee out of the title picture. I think Brie stays obedient to Nikki throughout her next title defense (Paige?) but then we get a Bella vs. Bella feud heading into WrestleMania. It’s weird typing that sentence and not getting angry, but that’s what happens when Brie and Nikki put some work into their characters. It makes the audience want to see them on screen.

Chairs Match: Ryback vs. Kane & Stairs Match: Erick Rowan vs. Big Show

I’m lumping these two together  because they are the exact same match that will have the exact same result. The only difference is one match has ‘stairs’ in the title and one match has ‘chairs’ in the title. Rowan and Ryback are getting the baby face push, and I’m genuinely excited to see what Rowan can do. I think we’ve already seen the peak of Ryback,  but with Bryan, Reigns, Orton, Sheamus and Barrett all out, it can’t hurt to give him another push. At this stage of their careers, Big Show and Kane are just names there to help elevate guys who need to be elevated. Part of me really hopes Rowan comes down to the ring holding stairs and just launches it at Big Show for a 10 second TKO.

Prediction: Ryback wins with a chair shot. Rowan wins with a stairs shot. Riveting stuff ladies and gentlemen.

US Championship Match: Rusev (C) vs. Jack Swagger

Side note: how can you note love Rusev? He’s CRUSHING TETRIS. Anyway, the WWE needs to be careful with the way they handle Rusev. There are only so many patriotic storylines you can run before the crowd gets tired out of it, and I think it’s time to move past the Rusev hates America story. There has to be more to his character than that. Let Lana cut promos that are more anti crowd than anti American, because it’s limiting who his opponents can be. Rusev/Swagger was hot fire over the summer, and I’m sure this match will be good, but there isn’t another WWE superstar you could’ve brought in to fight Rusev? There’s this guy named Cesaro who wasn’t even on fucking Raw that you could get some airtime and a four star match out of, but no, let’s do Rusev/Swagger again.

Prediction: 1 million % Rusev. If he loses here, the WWE should just pack up their stuff and call it a day.

Tag Team Championship Match: Miz & Damien Mizdow vs. The Uso’s

I love what they’re doing with Damien Mizdow, and while I’d love to give credit to WWE creative, part of me thinks this has a lot do with how good Damien Sandow is at his job. Miz is the best he’s maybe ever been, as he’s a natural as being a jerkoff. Mizdow continues to not only gain a ton of support, but also find new ways for us to love him, like his handstand Monday night:

On the flip side, I have no idea why The Uso’s are fighting for the titles AGAIN, but I assume the same guy that made that call also had Swagger come back and fight Rusev AGAIN. Get ready for a lot of jumps and leg slaps.

Prediction: The Mizdow train shouldn’t slow down anytime soon, so I think the champs retain.

Ladder Match For The IC Title: Luke Harper (C) vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is my 1a choice for match of the night. Luke Harper was the best wrestler in the Wyatt Family, and just because he has the curse of the IC title doesn’t mean that has changed. Dolph Ziggler is the best thing going for the WWE right now, especially after his performance at Survivor Series. Add in the ladder match stip and you have all the ingredients of a show stealer. The only question is where does the loser go from here?

Prediction: Luke Harper retains. WWE plays too fast and loose with the IC title, so I’d like to see Harper hold onto it for a while. Ziggler will look strong in victory or defeat, because that’s what he does, but where does he go from here? He’s already lost the title to Harper, and losing again in a PPV rematch should signify that he needs to move on. Since he’s not taking Rollins or Cena’s spot for a shot at the World Heavyweight title, I wouldn’t mind seeing him eye Rusev in Rusev’s first feud that isn’t centered around him fighting someone who has to defend America.

TLC Match: Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose represents the ants in this scenario

This is my 1b choice for match of the night. No one on this card needs a clean, decisive win more than Bray Wyatt. The good thing about this being a TLC match is that it guarantees a winner by pin fall or submission. No cheap DQ or count out wins. No post match schmoz. Just two guys beating the holy hell out of each other. I’ve really enjoyed this feud since Survivor Series, and Ambrose destroying Wyatt’s rocking chair and getting the better of him Monday leads me to believe Wyatt is going over here. Wyatt winning clean is the main reason why I loved this pairing from the beginning: Ambrose is one of the only characters on the show that doesn’t miss a step when he loses.

Prediction: Bray Wyatt wins. Maybe they fight again at the Rumble, or maybe Bray starts another feud. All I know is I sincerely hope the rumored Bray/Undertaker WrestleMania match is true.

Tables Match: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

This one is tough for one reason: it’s a tables match. If this were any kind of match that had to be decided by pin fall or submission I’d bet my grandchildren’s trust funds that Cena would win. But whenever there’s a stipulation that involves Cena losing and then him coming out the next night to tell everyone how he got screwed, I tend to lean towards his opponent. Remember the MITB ladder match for the briefcase with Ziggler? AJ Lee costs Cena the match and the briefcase, Dolph wins and looks good and Cena loses but doesn’t get pinned or submit. I could see a similar scenario here, except for one other reason: the winner fights Brock Lesnar for the title. The WWE loves having the same person or persons either fighting for the titles or continually feuding with the same person for months at a time (see Lee, AJ; Usos, The; Swagger, Jack). The worst part is Rollins winning makes so much sense. Not only do you have a fresh contender for Brock, but if Rollins loses, guess what? He still has the MITB briefcase, aka a guaranteed title shot whenever he wants. Lesnar and Rollins tear the house down at the Rumble, Brock goes over and looks like the monster he was at Summerslam. Rollins looks like a bigger star because he just went toe to toe with the CHAMP, the same champ that ended the Undertakers undefeated streak and murdered John Cena at Summerslam. OR

Prediction: Lesnar vs. Cena Part IV.

– Ryan