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Rhode Island Attracting Stars Left and Right – Emma Stone and Spiderman Stop By Anthony’s Seafood in Middletown!

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Andrew Garfield and his boo, Emma, stopping by a local RI eatery. NBD, but KBD.

Matt Pro Fashion Tip: Lose the Newsies cap, kid. This isn’t the great depression. You’re a superhero for Bill Paxton’s sake!

-Matt

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Not Even The Hoff Can Save Germany Now

GOD HELP GERMANY, Hulkamania is runnin’ wild in Rio! If the USA Soccer team needed any more motivation to beat the piss out of Germany, they just got it. Hulks been hanging and banging all day just waiting to leg drop some German ass! Choke on some sauerkraut you German pieces of shit!

CUE THE FUCKING MUSIC!

Hopefully No One On the English World Cup Team Gets Injured

GOOOUCHI guess the bright side is, if anyone knows how to deal with an injury, it should be a member of the medical staff.

England physio Gary Lewin reportedly dislocated his ankle while celebrating his team’s lone goal during Saturday’s World Cup match with Italy. Lewin had to be carried off the pitch on a stretcher.

In the 37th minute, Daniel Sturridge netted a goal to knot the score, 1-1. Not long after, Lewin appeared to fall to the ground.

 

The only good thing here is that soccer players are known for their ability to never fall down or fake an injury. Constantly battling through the hip bumps and phantom trips. Literally never needing a trainer to come out and check on them. To be honest I bet this guy had a shin splint and made it seem like he dislocated his ankle. Soccer players are like thieves; one minute they’re on the ground writhing in pain and the next minute they’re scoring a goal, taking their shirt off and losing their goddamn minds. I guess they’re actually nothing like thieves but you get the point. Maybe next time Gary Lewin will just do a casual fist pump when a player scores a goal instead of acting like he won the English lottery.

– Ryan

 

Is There Some Big Soccer Tournament Going on Today That I don’t Know About?

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I joke, I joke. I keeed, I keeed. The World cup is upon us, and while I have less than zero knowledge about soccer I do know one thing…….

CUE THE MUSIC! LETS GO USA

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