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Processed and Red Meats Give you Cancer and Major Walking Dead Spoilers

The Average Nobodies talk about the World Health Organization’s new carcinogen designation, the newest Walking Dead episode and a Sonic opens in our home town.

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017 Processed Meats and Walking Dead Treats [Spoilers]

The Average Nobodies talk about the World Health Organization’s new carcinogen designation, the newest Walking Dead episode and a Sonic opens in our home town.

Wolfgang Bosbach’s Humble Brag Move in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Blew Up in His Face

WolfA friend of German Chancellor Angela Merkel phoned her during the country’s version of “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”, only to get the leader’s voicemail – twice.

Wolfgang Bosbach , a member of Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats, made the calls as part of the “phone-a-friend” lifeline of the show, but had no luck.

He was trying to get Merkel, who has been Germany’s head of state since 2005, to answer a question about an East German washing machine.

Merkel grew up in the German Democratic Republic, which was part of the Soviet Union.

The question was what made the East German WM66 washing machine legendary. The answer was because people used it to stew fruit.

Bosbach would have won almost $700,000 for charitable causes if he had got the question right.

Instead, he decided to quit on $170,000.

Shame

Shame on you, Wolfgang. The number one rule of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is don’t count your chickens before  they’re hatched. So you get a question that you don’t know, and elect to use your “phone a friend” lifeline. Who do you call? The most important/busiest person in your entire country. Suave move. I’m sure she’s sitting at home eating whatever German people eat just waiting for your call. Not only did you let me down, but you let down the great people of Germany. This should be a lesson to all those people out there who think Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is such an easy game: if you fail to prepare, prepare to fail. On a side note, Wolfgang is an unbelievably badass name and I wish my mom named me that.

– Ryan

Matt’s Super Bowl Preview – Papa John vs Richard Sherman

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It has all come down to this! #1 seed vs #1 seed, best vs best, a power house defense, vs arguably the best offense to ever grace a football field. This is the type of Super Bowl we wish for every year. BUT, while the headlines read “Broncos vs Seahawks”, I see something very different.

Papa John vs Richard Sherman

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Behind ever successful quarterback there is an evil genius. Troy Aikman? Jerry Jones. Tom Brady? The Hooded One. Peyton Manning? ……Papa John. Papa John is the evil genius whose Idea it was to bring Peyton to Denver in the first place. (or so I speculate) Together they have pretty much monopolized Pizza and scoring touchdowns. But they have a weakness…

Which Brings me to my next point.  Sherman, if you’re reading this, I know Papa Johns weakness. Just send him a case of beer and tickets to see Louisville. Self implosion time!

k-bigpic-Matt

The Woman Who Woke Up Sounding Chinese. Wait. What?

When Sarah Colwill, 38, was hospitalized for an intense migraine in 2010, she awoke to an astounding sound—her voice.

Her familiar English accent had been replaced by what sounded like a poor impression of a Chinese person, leaving doctors scratching their heads.

Her predicament was a side effect of a rare neurological condition called Foreign Accent Syndrome.

Colwill is one of just 150 confirmed cases ever of FAS, according to the Independent. The condition is most often caused by damage to the brain brought on by a stroke or traumatic brain injury, UT Dallas reports.

In a new BBC documentary ‘The Woman Who Woke Up Chinese,’ which aired Tuesday, Colwill’s life with an alien voice proves to be less like an episode of Summer Heights High and more like a nightmare. -BBC

I know a scam when I see one, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is a scam. Foreign Accent Syndrome? They should just probably change it to “I don’t wanna sound like me anymore disease”. One minute she is having tea and scrumpets, then next she is singing ‘Deck The Halls’ like the people at the end of A Christmas Story. Let me explain how this worked. Lady got a super crazy migraine from hearing herself speak, decided to ditch the british accent and go absolutely rogue. Not sure why she went Chinese, but hey it’s working out for her. She is pretty good at it and will only get better in time. Personally I would have went full language change. Just start speaking the little Spanish I know over and over again until I pick up new words and develop a beast of a vocabulary. Change your accent all you want hunny, but don’t start crying Chinese wolf on us. You and the 150 other cases in the world just need to own up to what you’re doing. No one will hate you for it.

-MattyV

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