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Denzel Washington Is NOT A Fan of Russian’s in the Trailer For “The Equalizer”

This kind of movie puts me in the Jerry Maguire situation. When Dorothy tells Jerry that he had her at hello, and they live happily ever after. Denzel Washington had me at “a former black OPS commando”. That’s all I needed to hear. Name this movie “Denzel hates Russian scumbags and kills a lot of people” and I’d still go see it opening night. There are certain necessities in life, and one of them is watching Denzel Washington kick a bunch of ass. Need ya September 26th.

– Ryan

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The Washington Redskins Hit a New Low Yesterday

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The Redskins may have got their shit pushed in at home by the Chiefs yesterday, but at least their fans didn’t see it live. This is as depressing a photo as you will ever see.

– Ryan

Saturday Night Live Review – Kerry Washington & Eminem

Kerry Washington and her fine self is your host. The hysterical Eminem is the musical guest. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights..

Cold Open – White House

Everyone knew this was coming. The casting of six white cast members (5 male) during SNL’s off season irked critics who’ve longed for more female black cast members. Washington is our first black host of the year, so it makes sense to talk about the elephant in the room. The text on screen was hysterical, and Washington played a good Michelle Obama and Oprah.

What Does My Girl Say?

Blogged about this earlier in the week. The SNL digital shorts have been solid this season, and as expected, SNL takes the cake when it comes to parodies of ridiculous pop culture hits. Who that, who that, who that bitch. Kinda catchy.

Weekend Update

I feel like there hasn’t been a bad weekend update in years. Seth and Cecily are a killer team, so it will be bittersweet when he leaves for his own late night talk show. Jay Pharaoh and Kenan’s Shaq and Barkley impressions are so good it’s creepy. Seriously, though: WHAT’S EATING THE RATS IN NYC!?

Career Week Speaker

This may be the year Nasim Pedrad breaks free. She got to star in two sketches last week, and her hand movements/gyrations coordinated with lasers were pretty awesome in this sketch. Can’t deny the success of someone who owns a Honda Prelude. Also, Kerry Washington can be my sidekick any day.

Ice Cream

Put a bunch of 25-35 year old guys in a room with a decent amount of weed and you have the ice cream sketch. This was bizarre, but I liked it. Compared to some of the sketches me and my friends have come up with, this is quasi normal. The digital shorts/ pre-taped segments have all been really good this season.

Kerry Washington was a great host, and Eminem was making me LMAO. Not really, but he lip synced his way through a few songs, which is fine with me. Another solid episode, with a few OK sketches, but for the most part a good show. SNL went out of it’s way to address the lack of a black female character, a trend I hope doesn’t continue. They’re in the business of making people laugh, not answering every gripe from boneheads with a computer. We’re back November 16th with musical guest and host, Lady Gaga.

As Expected, Saturday Night Live Has the Best Parody of “The Fox”

It was only a matter of time before SNL got their hands on the weird sensation that is “the fox”. As usual, their parody of a viral hit is smart and hysterical. Nobody cheats on Kerry Washington and gets away with it.

– Ryan

P.S. Full SNL review will be here Wednesday.

Is Brandon Meriweather the Biggest Piece of Shit in the NFL?

(Source) Martellus Bennett on Brandon Meriweather: “The scumbag,” Bennett said, before talking more seriously about the issue. “What it comes down to, at the end of the day, the players have got to look out for the players. There’s a way to go out there and be a beast when you hit people, and have nobody want to come across the middle. But then there’s a way not to do it, where you’re deliberately hitting guys [high], or after the game you’re saying, Oh, I’ve got to pay, because you know what you did was wrong when you were doing it. Then it just becomes wrong. It’s not ignorance, because he knows what he’s doing, or guys know what they’re doing. Some guys are making these attacks on other guys.”

First of all the answer is yes. Blatantly hitting people up high, giving everyone (including himself) a concussion and laughing about it post game are signs of an asshole. Of all the great things Bill Belichick has done, bringing this scumbag into the league is at the bottom of the list. Some of the rule changes, especially the ones favoring receivers, are a little much and might be difficult to adjust to. Someone who’s been in the league 7 years should know better. Judging from his on and off the field antics, the guy is clearly a punk. Bragging about hitting people high or giving someone a concussion is just plain ignorant. He’s already been fined, and now suspended two games this year. Do us all a favor Mr. Goodell and kick this piece of trash out of the league for good.

– Ryan

Why It Sucks To Be A Redskin Fan: Guy Loses Bet, Has To Eat Part Of His Beard

I don’t know why this guy bet on the Redskins and I don’t care. All I know is I expected to see someone eat his beard and I was let down. You lost the bet, so now have to deliver on a promise. Those are the rules of betting. If your beard is 3 feet long and you say you’re gonna eat your beard then I expect you to eat at least half of that beard. Who are these guys friends letting him get away with this? If this guy was one of my friends we’d make him shave the whole thing off then eat it piece by piece. Then we’d make a smoothie out of his tears. Tough love is the only love. I’m glad he’s a Redskins fan, because after a showing like that he deserves to suffer for all of eternity.

– Ryan

Paula Patton Needs To Kick Some Ass

(Source) “Robin Thicke and Paula Patton stepped out on Wednesday night, where they got hot and heavy – with a few lip locks on the red carpet.

The couple, who have been married for eight years, stepped out at the Treats! Magazine cover party where he sang “Blurred Lines at No. 8 in New York City, amid claims that the “Blurred Lines” singer made out with New York socialite Lana Scolaro following the MTV VMAs.

A photo of Robin groping Lana’s backside was posted on her reported Instagram following the VMAs.

Paula’s rep previously released a statement to Access about Lana’s claims.

“It’s just a girl looking for some attention. Paula and Robin”

As well all know, this photo of Robin Thicke surfaced a few weeks ago, marking the first time a celebrity has ever been caught cheating on his wife:

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Aggressive ass grab. You and I both know Robin Thicke took this girl to pound town later that night. That’s what happens when you have nice hair and a really nice voice. This was Robin Thicke and his wife Paula Patton earlier this week:

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PDA’ing like some type of animal. Over the top “he’s all mine, we’re good” performance on the red carpet. I understand she has to put on a front, they have a baby together blah blah blah. Fuck that. Robin Thicke’s a bum, or as he’s referred to around my apartment complex, the poor man’s George Michael. Anyone can sing a soulless song like Blurred Lines. Come up with something that has the heart and soul of Father Figure or Freedom then come talk to me. You know Paula really banged Denzel in 2 Guns right? He’s definitely got a bigger dick than you. I digress. Point is, Paula Patton is too good for this guy. She needs a real man, and I just so happen to know someone who’s recently single…

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Clooney. Game. Set. Match.

– Ryan

P.S. Alan Thicke must be rolling over in his grave.

A Look Inside The Oregon Duck’s New 68-Mil Facility

Chip Kelly is going to want his old job back.

1 copy 2 copy 3 copy 4 copy 6 copy 7 copy 8 copy 9 copy 10 copy 12 copy

-MattyV

PS- This puts Bama’s 9-mil facility to shame! Makes them look like broke hillbillys.

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