— Alien: Covenant (@AlienAnthology) February 23, 2017
I’m going to try an keep calm throughout this recap of what we just watched, but forgive me if I go off a bit off the rails. I’ve been so excited for this movie, I can barely contain myself.
Ok, so what does this little prologue short film tell us about Alien: Covenant? For one, James Franco is the captain of this mission. It will be interesting to see what kind of captain he is.
Michael Fassbender is back as an android, and in this short we see him playing Walter. A totally new andriod. (he will also be reprising his role as David).
Danny McBride, as always, steals the show. He waits until Captain Branson (Franco) hits the sleep chamber before throwing on a cowboy hat and leading the crew in pre-sleep festivities.
We now know that the Covenant ship is on a “large-scale colonization” mission, which means a few things. One, this storyline is independent of Prometheus; although I obviously suspect a crossover of characters with Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender’s casted into this movie. And two, this adds a new aspect to the Alien franchise…significant others. It looks as though the crew on this mission are largely husbands and wives tasked with colonizing a new planet. This will surely invoke all types of interesting survival instincts when the shit inventively hits the fan.
Speaking of, how about the choking bit in this short?! I was half-expecting a tiny xenomorph to launch itself from her chest, but then Walter comes over and defuses the tension. If this is just a glimpse of things to come, then I think it’s safe to say Ridley Scott has another terrifyingly suspenseful thriller on his hands.
Lastly, I think we have found our protagonist. Katherine Waterston (you might recognize her from Fantastic Beasts) is playing a character named ‘Daniels’ in Covenant. So, what does this short tell us about her character? For one, she’s the take charge type. She swoops in and gives a chilling speech about the coming mission. And she does it without being called upon, she volunteers to give a few words. So she’s obviously the leader-type, even though she might not be in the role of a leader (where have we seen that before?). But, the most telling thing about her character is that she is alone. Yeah she’s with the crew, but look how she is placed among them. Centered, with space on either side of her while the rest of the crew is cuddled up with their significant others. Does she have an S/O on this mission? Doesn’t look like it. All I know is when shit starts going south it’s every man and woman for themselves.
– via Celebuzz
Snooki and Jwoww have been dressing as famous pop culture pairings over the past few days, and a photo has surfaced of the Jersey Shore pair dressed as Walt and Jesse from Breaking Bad…and it’s disturbing. Snooki looks disturbingly similar to the little person Pedro Martinez used to bring to the club house during the Red Sox ’04 World Series run.
JWoww looks like Walter White if he spent thousands of dollars on botox and plastic surgery and was only capable of making Zoolander’s “blue steel” face.
If I wasn’t such an enormous fan of the show I’d say they ruined that picture of Walt and Jesse for me forever. I don’t why Snooki and JWoww are taking pictures of famous pairings and I don’t care. I just want them to stop. And next time you try impersonating Walt and Jesse, model yourself after these handsome stallions.
Walter Hartwell White. You were a complicated man, a decent man, and a monster all at once. I always loved your old man glasses, porn star mustache and blatant disregard for human life. Thanks for the memories.
P.S. As much as I love Breaking Bad and Walter White, this obituary still doesn’t beat William McCullough.
It’s weird seeing the cast of Breaking Bad with smiles on their faces, but if there were ever a time to smile, it was last night. The show had been nominated three times before in the Best Drama category, but the Golden statue had always eluded Vince Gilligan and company. Last night, all that changed, and how surreal it was to watch Hank and Jesse and Mike and Walter hug it out for the whole world to see. Well deserved is an understatement, as the writing, directing and acting on this show has been superb for 5 years now. These past 8 episodes (the finale airing next Sunday) have been among the shows best, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see the cast share the stage one last time at the Emmys next September.
The oatmeal created an awesome (and accurate) breaking bad chart that analyzes each character’s tendency for violence vs. how much hair they have. Since George Zimmerman can’t see to keep his fat head out of trouble, I decided to do a little analyzing of my own.
Here’s George Zimmerman in 2005 after a domestic violence incident. Still not a choir boy, but the case was eventually thrown out. Also, notice Zimmerman has a full head of hair and he’s fat.
Here’s George Zimmerman towards the end of the Trayvon Martin trial, and only a few months before his most recent domestic violence incident. He isn’t pure evil by any means, and he’s grown out his hair and somehow gotten fatter.
Fresh off a murder George Zimmerman. That’s right, no hair, semi-skinny, and now he’s a murderer. Shot an unarmed kid. When George Zimmerman is fat with a full head of hair, he get’s into minor domestic disturbances. When George Zimmerman gets a buzz cut and loses weight, he turns into a murderer.
Moral of the story: whether you’re cooking meth to feed your family during a cancer battle or a member of the neighborhood watch, if you’re skinny with a shaved head and a goatee you’re a cold blooded murderer.
“BREAKING Bad star Bryan Cranston has reportedly been cast as supervillain Lex Luthor in the Man Of Steel sequel, alongside Ben Affleck as Batman and Henry Cavill as Superman. Cranston is said to have signed at least a six-appearance deal with DC Comics, which means he may have more chances to destroy Superman in future Justice League films, according to Cosmic Book News. An official announcement is expected to be made after the conclusion of the final season of Breaking Bad. Comic book fans will probably welcome Cranston’s hiring, following his celebrated portrayal of Walter White – a timid science teacher who starts cooking meth to pay his medical bills. An insider told Cosmic Book News: “Cranston truly is a dream casting for Luthor.” With Affleck on board, DC is also rumoured to be considering Matt Damon for the roles of Aquaman or Martian Manhunter. Mark Strong may also join in the role of Green Lantern mentor Sinestro, which he played in the recent Green Lantern film.” – news.com.au
Superman vs. Batman is shaping up to be quite the blockbuster. First, Ben Affleck was cast as the caped crusader, and now it appears Bryan Cranston will be playing uber villain Lex Luthor. Breaking Bad fans know Cranston has the ability to portray a bald evil genius, and why not stereotypically cast him now while the brilliant character Walter White is still fresh in our minds. Hopefully this star power, combined with Zack Snyder’s directorial style make for another great superhero flick.
P.S. NEVER FORGET
“Walter McCarty, who spent nearly eight seasons with the Boston Celtics during a 10-year playing career, confirmed to ESPN.com’s Jeff Goodman on Tuesday that he will be an assistant coach on Brad Stevens’ staff. The 39-year-old McCarty landed in Boston in October 1997 after being traded by the Knicks before his sophomore season. He emerged a fan favorite here and “I love Walter!” became a familiar catchphrase for television broadcaster Tommy Heinsohn. McCarty helped Boston to three playoff appearances from 2002-04 before being traded to Phoenix for a second-round pick midway through the 2004-05 season. James Posey, another beloved former Celtic, and McCarty were believed to be the two top candidates to round out Stevens’ staff as it appeared he was seeking a former player. Comcast SportsNet first reported McCarty’s hiring. McCarty joins the staff of the 36-year-old Stevens, who had previously brought on Ron Adams, a longtime NBA assistant, and Micah Shrewsberry, one of Stevens’ former assistants at Butler. Assistants Jay Larranaga and Jamie Young were carried over from Doc Rivers’ staff. Boston ties have served McCarty well as he immersed himself in coaching. He served as an assistant under former Celtics coach Rick Pitino at the University of Louisville in 2007. McCarty moved on to be an NBA assistant under former Celtics coach Jim O’Brien in Indiana during the 2010-11 season, but was let go a season later when the Pacers hired Frank Vogel. McCarty has been a familiar presence in Boston, often sitting courtside during games the past two seasons.” – ESPN
Perfect. Rebuilding a historic franchise? Bring in mediocre fan favorite players from the past to get the fans behind you again. I’m completely judging a book by it’s cover here, but McCarty doesn’t look like he’d be a good coach. He seems like the kind of guy who would goof around at practice then try and out drink the whole team at bars on the weekends. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe McCarty is the next John Wooden. All I know is the Celtics better have an oxygen tank at the announcers table for every home game because Tommy Heinsohn is going to lose his shit with Walter now on the coaching staff.
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, coming out on Christmas day, stars Ben Stiller, (who also directs) Kirsten Wiig and Adam Scott. Judging from the trailer and synopsis, Secret Life looks to be a fantasy comedy blend, or as I like to call it, Dodging Reality with a budget. This film is drastically different from Stiller’s other directorial features, (Tropic Thunder, Zoolander, The Cable Guy) and in my opinion, different is always good. If nothing else, this trailer peaks my interest and I’ll absolutely be seeing it in theater’s. Plus, can a film about daydreaming starring three comedy all stars really be that bad? We’ll find out on Jesus’s birthday.