God damn onions all over my office. Every time I watch this video somebody starts cutting onions. Maybe they’re making some kind of soup. Anyways, I dare you to watch this video and not smile. This baby is extremely far sighted, and this is the first time she wore glasses, which means it’s the first time she was able to see clearly. Babies for the win.
I don’t know why these people were so calm, because if this happened to me not only would there be no video evidence but I’d never step foot in that house again. I’d burn it to the ground and never look back. The birds takeover is real, and now they’re infiltrating our homes. The same homes we’re supposed to feel safe in. I’m ok with conceding outside to the birds; they can fly and do whatever they want outside, but once they start entering homes it’s basically the beginning of the end of the human race. Everyone else is worried about nuclear wars and psychotic world leaders and the birds are sneaking in right under our noses. This is the worst start to a week in the history of the world.
This little guy is laying down the law. If you’re going to leave in the car for 10 minutes (45 years in dog time) then he’s going to beep the horn until you come back. He’s going to turn the entire town on it’s head and cause a scene until you come back. Sometimes pups have to take control of a situation, and that’s exactly what this dog did. His owner may never leave the house again.
So I was sent this video yesterday, and I haven’t’ been the same since. Before we get started, EI EI Yoga is a clever name, I just don’t know who the hell it’s appealing to. You take a popular children’s song and make it into a yoga show, because apparently all the kids these days are really into yoga? I don’t know, but what I do know is that this is one of if not THE strangest video I’ve ever seen. My first question is who is the target audience for this video? Is there really a portion of the population who watched this and went “yup, this is what I want.”? Because if there is, I would like that portion of the population to be secluded to it’s own island somewhere far, far away. I understand this video has been edited and voiced over, but I also understand that there’s no version of this video that isn’t incredibly haunting. I do have a lot of questions as well. Why is the yoga instructor wearing jeans? Why are all the children dressed in costumes? Why is the cow behind the barn dressed like an actual cow but the rooster is standing on two legs like a human? Why is there a wind machine halfway through the exercise? Why does the yoga session start off with individual hugs? Why can’t I stop watching this video? I’ll never be able to answer any of those questions, but I do know that this image will haunt my dreams for the rest of my days: