— Brian Floyd (@BrianMFloyd) June 22, 2014
— Marissa Alter (@WLKYMarissa) June 23, 2014
First off the name is great. It’s not everyday you can incorporate a soccer term into the name of an American president from the early 20th century. Secondly, the outfit is great. Love the Jumanji aspect of it. Really anytime you have the chance to dress like a character from Jumanji you have to take it. That’s not a costume or soccer rule; that’s a life rule. Thirdly, this guy looks strikingly similar to Teddy Roosevelt. Have we ruled out that this guy is a Teddy Roosevelt impersonator who stumbled into the stadium and the internet just took over from there? Seems like an American internet-y thing to do: find a fan dressed like Teddy Roosevelt and turn him into an American soccer icon. My only reservation is that the US didn’t win last night. The whole point of being “the face” of something is that you’re a good luck charm. Good luck charms don’t let their team lose in the 94th minute of a World Cup game. If we beat/draw against Germany then I’m sold on Teddy Goalsevelt. If we lose I want his head on a Brazilian spike.
Captain Morgan Learned the Hard Way That Americans Will Literally Eat or Drink Taco Flavored Anything
— Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 1, 2014
— Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 2, 2014
I love the effort here on Captain Morgan’s part, but when you bring tacos into the mix you’re just over matched. We will literally eat or drink anything with the word taco in it. It doesn’t even have to taste like tacos. You just have to put the word in there and people will go for it. I really wouldn’t be surprised if people start an uproar because this DOESN’T exist. In the 24 hours it took to come out as a joke I bet millions of people planned Captain Morgan taco party’s this weekend. Part of me wants to say its cool but a much larger part of me thinks its disturbing. But then that small part of me eats a taco and everything makes sense again. Better luck next year, Captain.
Q&A from Tye Sheridan and Nick Cage after their movie ‘Joe’
Vanilla Ice is being named citizen of the year by the South Florida town where he lives, according to reports.
The 1990s one-hit-wonder, best known for his hit single “Ice Ice Baby,” will be named “Outstanding Citizen of the Year” by Wellington’s chamber of commerce during an event on Feb. 26.
Officials said they will honor the rapper, whose given name is Rob Van Winkle, for his “spirit of giving and dedication” to Wellington, the Associated Press reported.
Mr. Van Winkle has contributed to several local charities in Wellington and also films his DIY Network reality show “The Vanilla Ice Project” there. -Washington Times
I mean…good for V-Ice, but how bad is Wellington Florida doing? You already have a state FULL of crazies and you name Vanilla Ice “Most outstanding”? I got news for you Florida that’s like giving the title of warden to one of the crazies at the asylum. Again, good for Vanilla Ice. I have had nothing but love for the one-hit wonder since he joined forces with the Insane Clown Posse. Keep up what you are doing and never, ever, make a movie again.
We’ll be following along vicariously through our Twitter feed (@averagenobodies) but that doesn’t mean we can’t show some good old fashioned American pride. Down with the Czechs!
– Average Nobodies
Marvin Gaye. Whitney Houston. Queen Latifah. Entertainment stars singing the national anthem at big time sporting events is a tradition that is as old as time itself. While performing the anthem at the Superbowl or World Series is a huge honor, we feel that the ultimate pat on the back would be singing it for your home country during the Olympics. The Olympic’s may be in Russia this year, but there’s no such thing as being over prepared. When they come back to America, remember this day. For this is the day the Average Nobodies stole the hearts of Americans everywhere. Hit the music!