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Shaun White Won The 100th Gold Medal In USA #Olympic History Last Night

Heading into yesterday’s competition, Norway was the only country in Olympic history with 100+ gold medals. Thanks to Shaun White’s gold medal in snowboard half pipe, that list now includes the USA.

Shaun White Snowboard Half Pipe Gold Medal Run

Shaun White also won gold in the snowboard half pipe in 2010, and his performance last night was just as special. While winning a gold medal on it’s own is amazing, winning the 100th gold medal in US Olympics history has to feel extra special. For those of you that thought White would get to enjoy his gold medal, you must have forgotten the culture we live in. Some news outlets decided to bring up past sexual harassment allegations. Some decided to rag on him for dragging the American flag on the ground. Granted that was Fox News, but unfortunately they have a cult like following on social media.

The sexual harassment stuff I understand because that’s what we do now. Our culture loves to sit on things until the person does something you THINK we can universally love. Then they beat you to death with all the awful things that person has done so no one can be happy, not even for a second. As far as the flag dragging, it was obviously accidental, and if you’re relying on Fox News for your political takes you’re already too far gone.

Congratulations to Shaun White on another Olympic gold medal. The opposite of congratulations to our society for sucking the fun out of everything.

-Ryan

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Friday Fire Alert: FuckinSavage.Com Presents The Hottest T-Shirt In The Game: “Collusion”

It doesn’t matter if you love or hate politics, or if you voted for Trump or Hillary or wrote in your crazy neighbor who seems nice but you know there’s something going on there. Despite all of our differences, be it political, social or otherwise, I think there is one thing we can all agree on: we all love t-shirts.

I’m not a father, but I honestly can’t picture myself more excited for the birth of my son or daughter than I was when I won a free t-shirt at Boston Celtics game. It was the apex of my happiness here on Planet Earth. While this t-shirt isn’t free, it’s well worth you time and money, so open your wallets and your hearts and check out the majestic beauty that is “Collusion”.

Donald Trump “Collusion” Shirts Now Available on FuckinSavage.com, and They Are Going Viral!

 

Photo: FuckinSavage.com

 

Photo: FuckinSavage.com

Over the past year, there have been accusations of multiple government officials “colluding” with Russia.

Of these officials, these accusations are focused primarily on President Donald Trump’s administration.  sourcehttp://www.cnn.com/2017/08/03/politics/mueller-investigation-russia-trump-one-year-financial-ties/index.html

However, in light of recent revelations, it seems Hillary Clinton is being accused of collusion too.  source:  http://thehill.com/policy/national-security/355749-fbi-uncovered-russian-bribery-plot-before-obama-administration

On Monday night, the website FuckinSavage.com appeared on the Internet.  On this site, there are 2 versions of shirts focused on “collusion” and the 2 people who are most likely involved in the “collusion”:  Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

The shirts simply say:  “Who Are You Colluding With?” and feature silhouettes of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.

“We haven’t chosen a side,” said Dave Sunshine, owner of FuckinSavage.com.  “We hope to see the American people choose the shirt with the side they agree with most.  We are anticipating selling millions of Trump “Collusion” Shirts.  We put the shirts online Monday night as a joke, and they have instantly started going viral.”

FuckinSavage.com hopes that it can provide the American people with what they need to satisfy their “collusion” accusation, no matter what side they are on.

The shirts are available on FuckinSavage.com, which is a Google Trusted Store, provided by Spreadshirt.com.

“Please remember that this is satirical humor,” said Dave.  “The reason why we made both shirts is to provide the offended candidate with ammunition to offend.”

FuckinSavage.com is the home of the most controversial shirts on the Internet, and is preparing to release more shirts this month.

Trailer Alert – #MrRobot Season 3.0 (NEW)

Mr. Robot is one of the most fascinating and intense shows on TV, and one of my favorite parts about the show is that you sometimes don’t know if what you’re watching is real or some type of dream sequence. After all, the main character has a hallucinated alter ego who happens to be his dead father, so there’s going to be some confusion once in awhile. That’s what makes the trailers so insane, because a lot of what we’re seeing might not actually be happening this season, but for the time being we have to take what we’re watching at face value. Needless to say, there is a shit ton happening. Season 3 premieres October 11.

-Ryan

It’s Officially Impossible To Parody The US Government

When Donald Trump was elected President, I knew there were going to be a lot of changes. Before Trump, even if you didn't like or agree with the President, you respected the office and the fact that he was the most powerful man in the free world. That is no longer the case. When Trump goes to Twitter before notifying his Secretary of Defense or the Pentagon about his new ban on transgender people serving in the military, it sparks reactions like that of the Governor of Nevada, who said he won't make changes to the National Guard unless instructed to do so by the Secretary of Defense. In other words, what the President says doesn't matter.

To people like me and you, the President's words haven't mattered since January. But for other elected officials to basically say "this guy is nuts, I'll wait to hear from a sane voice" is pretty crazy when you're talking about the POTUS.

Because we now live in a dystopian, idiotic world, the President's transgender tweet barely stayed in the news cycle for 48 hours. A lot of that has to do with healthcare, which as of early this morning, is still unchanged. But what I'm choosing to focus on is the White House's new communication director, Anthony 'The Mooch' Scaramucci. The New Yorker ran a piece yesterday on him where he talked ON THE RECORD about a whole host of things, and it's beyond parody. Here are some excerpts:

 Scaramucci, who initiated the call, did not ask for the conversation to be off the record or on background.

Always a good sign when the communications director doesn't know how to speak to the press off the record.

“They’ll all be fired by me,” he said. “I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I’ll fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Reince Priebus—if you want to leak something—he’ll be asked to resign very shortly.” The issue, he said, was that he believed Priebus had been worried about the dinner because he hadn’t been invited. “Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac,” Scaramucci said. He channeled Priebus as he spoke: “ ‘Oh, Bill Shine is coming in. Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months.’ ” (Priebus did not respond to a request for comment.)

If those aren't the words of a level headed guy then I don't know what is. Always an uplifting sign when the new guy in the White House threatens to fire literally everyone over something he can't prove. This is also foreshadowing the rest of the conversation, as we see The Mooch has an affinity to saying the word 'cock'.

Scaramucci also told me that, unlike other senior officials, he had no interest in media attention. “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock,” he said, speaking of Trump’s chief strategist. “I’m not trying to build my own brand off the fucking strength of the President. I’m here to serve the country.” (Bannon declined to comment.)

BINGO! So much to dissect in that statement. Comparing wanting media attention to sucking your own cock, inferring that since he doesn't suck his own cock, he's here to serve the country, and my personal favorite 'Bannon declined to comment'. Oh you don't say? He didn't want to comment on the statement from the White House communications director that says he sucks his own cock? Shocking! This is all extremely disheartening, but at least we'll always have this tweet:

https://twitter.com/wyatt_privilege/status/890702212858511361

The article goes on and on and on, and while Scaramucci might not like to suck his own cock, he sure likes to hear himself talk. This is the world we live in, folks, and these are the people in charge of our country. Happy Friday?

-Ryan

In What Might Be The Smartest Marketing Campaign Of All Time, Budweiser Is Re-Branding It’s Beer ‘America’ This Summer

INBudweiser is renaming its beer “America” for the summer. The special cans and bottles will be available May 23 through the presidential election in November, owner Anheuser-Busch said Monday.

The Atlantic notes that’s just in time for peak beer season: “Summer is the best-selling season for beer — about one-third of all U.S. sales are between Memorial Day and Labor Day.”

The cans, in addition to the usual patriotic flare, will have phrases from the Pledge of Allegiance and lyrics from “The Star-Spangled Banner” and “America the Beautiful,” the company said.

If anything ever deserved the Citizen Kane slow clap, it’s this decision by Budweiser. What a beautiful, brilliant move. I can honestly say that I’ve never been swayed one way or the other by advertising campaigns except when it comes to beer. My usual plan is ‘buy whatever is cheapest’ and while that has turned out to be a horrifically flawed plan, I’m sticking to it. But when it comes to beer, advertising and bottle/can design means a lot to me. Budweiser’s American flag cans usually get the job done, and that’s why I’ll drink them all summer. Now that they’re upping their game and actually adding the word ‘America’ to their cans, it’s a no brainer. People who say Budweiser and Bud Light taste like piss and aren’t real beers can enjoy their $9 10% craft brews and wake up with a headache that would kill an elephant the next morning. I’ll enjoy my 15 Budweiser’s and wake up ready to fly a plane. My only other desire is for them to do the same with Budweiser tap handles. I want to be able to order a nice cold draft of America whenever I go out to eat. Let me have that this summer, Mr. Budweiser.

-Ryan

NXT Took Over The #RAW After WrestleMania Will Three Big Time Debuts

The Raw after WrestleMania is always the best Raw of the year (and sometimes better than WrestleMania) and last night was no exception. We got the return of Cesaro (in a tear away suit!) a new IC Champion in The Miz and a new #1 contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in AJ Styles. BESIDES that, we got the Raw debut of Apollo Crews, Baron Corbin and your new favorite tag team Enzo & Cass. My favorite part about all three of these debuts is how positive the crowds reacted to them and how for the most part the announcers put them over for the live broadcast. Minus infinity points for Michael Cole saying that Enzo is an ‘acquired taste’ while 20,000 people sing his entrance promo word for word. Besides that, all three debuts for flawless. Corbin got a match with a smaller guy who doesn’t mind selling his ass off in Ziggler, Crews got to look like a million bucks and Enzo & Cass turned the tag team division on it’s head with one amazing promo. With these debuts, plus the return of Cesaro and the eventual returns of Cena, Orton and Rollins, this roster is going to be so stacked it’s going to melt people’s brains.

-Ryan

5 Stars From Last Night’s #RAW

Raw was live from our nation’s capital last night. It was the final Raw before the big ol’ show in Tokyo Saturday morning and we’re heading towards the home stretch on the road to Battleground. Cesaro stole the show, Paige still doesn’t have any friends and Kane looked STRONG. Let’s get to the five stars from last night’s Raw.

1. Paige

So Paige still has no friends, but she wrestled a good match against Alicia Fox and actually won, so she’s on the list. I’m really hoping that this turns into an NXT/Divas feud, with Charlotte, Sasha, Becky Lynch and company coming to Paige’s aid. For now, the Paige/Bella Twins/Alicia Fox feud is ok, but at this point, every Bella Twins feud seems the same to me. The Bella Twins are the entitled reformed models who are handed everything on a silver platter in fake wrestling and who date/are married to the two most popular superstars outside of the ring. Paige is the polar opposite. She’s 22, has already wrestled all around the world and cares about the wrestling aspect of the business more than the show business/Total Divas aspect of it. It’s a good story to tell, but the WWE has been telling it forever, whether it be with AJ, Naomi or now Paige. It’s ok for the WWE to broaden your storyline horizons and come up with different storylines for these Divas. I think we’d all be pleasantly surprised if they did.

2. Cesaro (and John Cena)

The rest of this Raw could’ve been Mark Henry eating a meatball sub in his underwear and I’d still love it. After a bluff by Kevin Owens, Cesaro fought John Cena for the US title and it was one of the best TV matches of the year. I know we still have 5 months left, but there’s not much that’s going to top that. Cesaro is my favorite wrestler and now that Bryan is out, he’s probably the best wrestler on the roster. Maybe he’s not Dusty Rhodes on the microphone or The Rock in the charisma department, but he’s the most versatile guy on the roster, and he understands match pacing. The benefit of having a guy like Cesaro who has wrestled all over the world is that he can wrestle any style of match. When you see a John Cena match, unless it’s against a guy like Cesaro or Owens who knows different styles of wrestling, you know what you’re going to get. Cena came up through WWE and has stayed there, so he’s going to wrestle a WWE match. But with Cesaro, he understands that you can’t just light the world on fire for 20 minutes, especially on a Raw, so you start slow and build to the finish. He also happens to be in better shape than anybody, and can simultaneously snatch 250 pound John Cena out of the air and then drop kick him off the top rope from a standing position. I loved everything about this, and Cena deserves  credit too, because he was every bit as good in this match. If this leads to a triple threat for the US title I might die of happiness.

3. Prime Time Players

Titus O’Neil hot tags continue to be one of my favorite things, and this is a perfect example of keeping the champs looking good while getting a bunch of guys some TV time. Darren and Titus have looked great since getting the belts, and the Lucha Dragons are always fun to watch. Bo Dallas and New Day are the most logical combination because they’re essentially all the same characters. I was kind of hoping for a quick Bo promo to address the Rock stealing his thunder at the Boston house show, but I’ll settle for the merry go round tag ins and stomps in the corner from Bo and the New Day. At this point, there really isn’t another bonafide tag team in the division outside of New Day and PTP, so hopefully this feud keeps going. Tyson Kidd is out for awhile, as is Erick Rowan. Maybe when the hurt Uso twin gets back the Uso’s can get back into the title picture, but for now I’m fine with the New Day and PTP duking it out over the tag belts.

4. Sheamus

Mr. MITB Sheamus hasn’t gotten off to the best start as the briefcase holder, but last night’s match with Neville was a good start. Booking the MITB winner is hard because you want him to be a big part of your show while also kind of blending into the background. If you keep featuring him in big spots and have him talk about cashing in, the actual cash in loses some of its luster. At the same time, you don’t want people to entirely forget about him either. WWE did it right with Rollins in that they put him in feuds that didn’t necessarily center around the briefcase, so they could feature him in big time matches without people focusing only on the case. Sheamus/Neville is definitely something I’d be interested in, as Sheamus is at his best when his opponent isn’t afraid to take a beating, and Neville is one of the best ‘sellers’ on the roster. Sheamus is still kind of boring, but at least he’s winning matches.

5. KANE (Just Kidding) Roman Reigns

So Kane main evented Raw. Let’s just let that soak in for a second. He and Seth Rollins took on Ambrose and Reigns in a no DQ match, which was basically a regular tag match with a kendo stick. The match itself was fine, but Reigns took the beating at the end so well, and he looked as good as he did at WM 30 when Brock Lesnar was beating the shit out of him. I don’t know what’s next for Reigns, but the crowd is back on his side again, so hopefully he’s able to be more of himself rather some rambling, fairy tale spewing promo machine. He’s not John Cena, and that is all sorts of a good thing. Let him be a Samoan SWAT team member who kicks everyone’s ass and looks cool doing it. Also, let Kane actually vacation in Hawaii and never book him a plane ticket home.

– Ryan

 

Mike Tyson is the Latest Celebrity to Endorse Team USA And Now I’m Legitimately Scared For the Citizens of Belgium

My favorite subplot of the World Cup is the random slew of celebrities coming out to support Team USA. The latest one is Mike Tyson, who I can confidently say has no idea what soccer or the World Cup is, but he’s supporting America so it’s OK. I also don’t know if getting Mike Tyson all riled up is a good thing. There’s a solid chance he’s going to go home tonight and look up Belgium on a map and make it his mission to make sure they never breathe life again. There are a lot of things in this world I’d test my might against, but a focused Mike Tyson is not one of them. If I were Belgium, I’d forfeit right now. Keep your country intact while you still can.

– Ryan

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