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Trailer Alert – Legend

What’s better than Tom Hardy starring in a movie about London gangsters who ruled the city in the 1950s and 1960s? Tom Hardy playing BOTH identical twin gangsters who ruled London in the 1950s and 60s. Whoever cast this movie must have Freddy Krueger’d me and somehow watched all my dreams, because a double dose of Tom Hardy is like one of my dreams come to life. Hardy plays both Ronald and Reginald Kray who were the premier gangster/mobsters in London during the 50s and 60s, dabbling in arson, armed robberies and even murder. My favorite Hardy roles are when he’s had to be a physical actor (Bronson, Warrior, Dark Knight Rises) and judging from the action in this trailer, he’ll be in plenty of fisticuffs throughout the film. At this time it’s not scheduled to be released in the US (it comes out in the UK in September) and if that doesn’t change I’m going to be sad for the rest of the my life.

– Ryan

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Some Guy “Accidentally” Bought Bananas Infested With Spiders That Give You Four Hour Erections

SURE A BRISTOL mum has revealed her shock after she found a bag of bananas her husband had bought from Tesco were infested with spiders – which are known to give men erections.

Maria Layton, 43, mum of Siri, aged six and Phoebe aged three, made the frightening discovery after opening the bag of bananas bought from Tesco.

The Tesco bananas were exported from Costa Rica – home of the world’s most dangerous spider – the Brazilian Wandering Spider aka Banana Spiders whose Greek name means “murderess”.

They are aggressive and venomous spiders which can lead to death and serious injury – including a painful four-hour erection.

Maria, of Westbury-on-Trym, said:” My husband bought the bananas from Tesco. They had been in the house a whole day before I ripped the bag open.

say what?

I’m not buying this story for one second. You mean to tell me that this husband just happened to pick the bag of bananas with boner inducing spiders inside? I think the ‘death’ side effect is meant to throw us off the scene of this being on purpose, but I don’t believe it. Is it a risky move? Yes, but some guys will risk death to get that rare four hour erection. I think this husband knew what he was doing and now that he got caught, he’s turning into the boy who cried wolf. While a four hour erection isn’t necessarily my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon, this guy obviously had big plans this weekend. If this isn’t turned into a porn parody of Spiderman by the end of the year I will have lost hope in the human race.

– Ryan

The WWE Network Will Finally Be Available In The UK & Ireland On January 19th (Maybe)

After the last projection failed (while Raw was in the UK, no less), it seems like the WWE is finally ready to roll out the WWE Network overseas. I honestly don’t know how fans in the UK and Ireland have waited this long, because I signed up for the Network on day one and have been obsessed with it ever since. Hopefully the WWE is really ready this time, and that fans in Ireland and the UK will finally be able to utilize this wonderful concept.

– Ryan

If You Could Switch Places With Anyone in the World Right Now, Wouldn’t It Have to Be Prince Harry?

SourceIt is only days since Prince Harry broke up with his long-term girlfriend Cressida Bonas, but a strip club in Memphis is hoping he will be ready to try to get over the heartbreak by paying them a visit.

The newly single 29-year-old is due to arrive in the Tennessee city where he will attend a society wedding this weekend.

As residents get ready to try to spot the prince during his trip, one of the city’s strip clubs has put up a large sign that says ‘Welcome Prince Harry’.

SourcePrince Harry partied it up in Miami Beach this week.

The British royal was in town Wednesday for his friend and British club owner Guy Pelly’s bachelor party.

The group of friends first enjoyed dinner at Hakkasan and reportedly stayed until close to enjoy cocktails, tea and coffee. They then hit up LIV nightclub at the Fontainebleau.

Both Harry and Prince William will be ushers at Pelly’s wedding to Holiday Inn heiress Lizzy Wilson on May 3. The couple will be married in Memphis, Tenn.

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Decent week. I went to Buffalo Wild Wings and saw Spiderman 2 but I guess partying at Liv in Miami and getting the hero’s welcome from a stripclub is pretty fantastic too. When the “who would you want to switch places with” conversation comes up the same names are always mentioned: Leo, Clooney, Timberlake, Mayer. But what about Prince Harry? He’s younger than all of them. Also, he’s a PRINCE. A real life, badass prince. He was in the Royal Air Force which just sounds incredible. Throw in the fact that girls dig the British accent and you have yourself a bonafide member of the “who would I rather be” club. Now that he smartened up and is living the single life, the sky is really the limit for him. If he’s a halfway decent guy, he can get into any club, stadium or attraction in the entire world. The best part? He has an older brother, which equals zero responsibility. I’ve always been under the impression that unelss you’re the King or next in line, you can basically do whatever you want. Vegas today, Miami tomorrow. Memphis the next day because apparently people get married in Memphis. All I know is once your name is on the marquee at The Pony, you’ve made it.

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– Ryan

Guy Gets Banned From All Farms For Banging a Goat

beast

Robert Newman, 23, is banned from every single farm in the United Kingdom after sexually penetrating a goat, the London Evening Standard reported.

Newman admitted to the act, which took place on a Wiltshire farm in April, on Monday, according to the Wiltshire Gazette and Herald.

His sentencing is scheduled to take place Sept. 12. Until then, Newman — who has been released on bail — is prohibited from being on any property where farm animals reside, according to SWNS. He also has to keep a curfew between 7 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Tough break, Robert. Getting banned form every farm in the UK? That’s a steep punishment for what you did. All I know is, if my buddies and I ever get banned from all the farms in America, we would be pissed! (We plan on running a egg farm one day) I don’t anticipate any of us banging farm animals in the near future, but you never know. And wait, “sexually penetrating a goat”? Are there other ways to penetrate a goat with your penis that is not sexual? I guess i’m not hip to farm tactics.

-MattyV

PS- Before you judge, did you ever think the guy just loved his goat?

I May Have Just Found The Newest Pop Sensation

I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but when I retire from the force I may have a second career in the musical industry. If I’m able to find a band with as much talent as these three, then I have to believe that the sky’s the limit. As far as the three blind mice go, their passion for music comes right through the screen. No fans? No problem. No venue? Don’t need it. Get these guys an open field and a shit ton of cows and you have the equivalent of The Rolling Stones in the 70’s. You know you’re good when you don’t even incorporate any words into your songs. All they need is a drum set, a couple of saxophones and the combined musical talents that literally make animals run for their lives.

– Ryan

P.S. Get me that that saxophone player on the left’s shirt. It’s still 1960 to him god dammit.

Jaime Neil Robbing Gas Stations Like It Ain’t No Thing

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Meet Jaime Neil. The man who robbed a UK gas station wearing a clear plastic bag. I’m no master thief, but you learn in robbery 101 to hide your identity. Its 2013 Jaime, there are literally camera’s anywhere. Disguising yourself with a plastic bag is literally the worst way to hide your identity. To add insult to injury, Jaime used his cell phone as a fake gun, only to have it start ringing during the holdup. Whoever taught Jaime how to rob must be shaking their head in disgust. Just a poor excuse for a thief. Maybe try your hand at another illegal activity, like selling drugs or smuggling guns. You’re embarassing those who take robbery seriously.

– Ryan

P.S. I’m glad this guy isn’t from Florida. They were starting to max out on their crazy.

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