Mike Tyson is the Latest Celebrity to Endorse Team USA And Now I’m Legitimately Scared For the Citizens of Belgium
My favorite subplot of the World Cup is the random slew of celebrities coming out to support Team USA. The latest one is Mike Tyson, who I can confidently say has no idea what soccer or the World Cup is, but he’s supporting America so it’s OK. I also don’t know if getting Mike Tyson all riled up is a good thing. There’s a solid chance he’s going to go home tonight and look up Belgium on a map and make it his mission to make sure they never breathe life again. There are a lot of things in this world I’d test my might against, but a focused Mike Tyson is not one of them. If I were Belgium, I’d forfeit right now. Keep your country intact while you still can.
Neil deGrasse Tyson is an astrophysicist. Do I know what an astrophysicist does? Why yes I do. They bitch and moan about the authenticity of science fiction movies. Here’s a snippet from Neil’s Twitter account last night, apparently after he saw the new movie Gravity.
Talk about an exciting life, eh? I mean Jesus Christ Neil give it up. 98% of the population doesn’t even know what you’re talking about. We get it, you’re an astrophysicist. You physicize Astros. Congratulations. Hey Neil, the movie made $55 million in 3 days. I doubt anyone cares about your scientifc opinion on a goddamn fake movie. Clooney and Sandra Bullock must be wiping away their tears with $100 bills after seeing this twitter rant. To be honest, the most frustrating part of this entire situation is that someone who looks like Neil has the balls to criticize George Clooney.
This is what Lionel Richie would look like if he completely let himself go.