Blog Archives
Bruce Irvin Has An Interesting Sense Of Humor #AprilFools
Before this hits the media I just wanna apologize to my fans and the @Seahawks organization once again. I made a terrible decision b driving
— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) April 1, 2015
After I had a few drinks. I will do everything to get ur trust back and will become a better person after this.
— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) April 1, 2015
How many of yall thought I was serious ?! Haha April fools!!!
— Bruce Irvin (@BIrvin_WVU11) April 1, 2015
Hahaha. April Fools! Silly Twitter believing an NFL player got a DUI! What NFL player has ever been in trouble with law before? Honestly the only thing funnier than this would have been a domestic violence joke. The Seahawks should have got together as a team and each picked a crime to “commit” so they could fool everyone. Russell Wilson robs a liquor store, Jimmy Graham assaults an elderly man, Marshawn Lynch kills a guy; the possibilities are literally endless. I’m glad the NFL is cracking down on the behavior of it’s players, because this situation clearly shows how seriously they take the punishments for DUI’s and things of that sort.
– Ryan
H/T NY Daily News
This Chris Kaman Sweatshirt Is The Stuff Of Nightmares
Fan of the night 🙌🙌🙌 pic.twitter.com/jy70zMa4XA
— Trail Blazers (@trailblazers) March 31, 2015
I’m a fan of weird sweatshirts. I own a plethora of Beloved shirts that have astronauts and boxing rings and a guy smoking a cigarette on them. But Chris Kaman is not what you’d call a beautiful man. His new look is the dreaded bald head – long beard combo that makes me shiver in my boots just thinking about it. If I had to pick one human in the entire world NOT to put on a sweatshirt, it would be Chris Kaman. He was born to be a professional basketball player, not a large screen print on an oversized sweatshirt. Weird, wild stuff.
– Ryan
H/T @trailblazers
Zayn Malik Left One Direction & People Are Losing Their Goddamn Minds
If you’ve been on the internet in the last 24 hours, you’ll know that Zayn Malik left One Direction. While that means absolutely nothing to me and most of the population, there are still people who are taking it very badly. One Direction is THE boy band right now, and all their fans are teetering on the brink of insanity as it is, and I’m afraid this story is going to send them over the edge. Here are some sample tweets:
#zayn pic.twitter.com/Oa8krywpOk
— Boo (@buyi_perez) March 26, 2015
Person: How many members are in One Direction? Me: Five Person: didn’t Zayn le- Me: Five Person: But.. Zay- Me: Five Person: Bu- Me: F I V E
— #zaynweloveyou (@khloeclifford) March 26, 2015
‘Leah did you hea-‘ YES I FUCKING HEARD ABOUT ZAYN GET OUT OF MY FUCKING FACE
— leah. (@_LeahMarieFitz_) March 26, 2015
Zayn means more to me than everything I can’t imagine my life without my life 💔
— Hearts&Flowers&Zayn (@JumeBegum_x1Dx) March 26, 2015
Obviously I can’t relate to any of these people, and I’m sure that One Direction is an important part of their life, but some of this is a little overboard. Zayn related tweets occupy two of the top three trends in the world right now, so obviously a lot of people are affected positively or negatively. He’s one member of a five person group. so I can’t imagine their songs are going to sound a lot different, but in the Internet age, people feel like they’re a lot closer to their favorite celebrities than they actually are. They follow them on Twitter and are friends with them on Facebook and that’s when things get weird. I can only imagine some of the shit that this guy Zayn is hearing from his fans, and if I were him, I’d stay as far away from the spotlight as possible.
– Ryan
Brock Lesnar Has Officially Re-Signed With The WWE Ahead of WrestleMania 31
“I’m officially closing the door on UFC. I re-signed last night with WWE.” – Brock Lesnar #LIVEonSCpic.twitter.com/JnT9Iys1Ph
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) March 24, 2015
Safe to say this is the biggest news to come out of the WWE in quite some time, and was only magnified by the fact that it aired live on Sportscenter. If you missed it, Brock Lesnar was interviewed by longtime WWE fan and ESPN personality Michelle Beadle and he explained that his MMA career is over, but Sunday will not be the last time he fights inside a WWE ring. After I came down from cloud nine, I immediately when to Twitter and the wrestling community was going bonkers. Sites were shutting down due to overload of web traffic, people who haven’t tweeted in forever were losing their minds; Brock Lesnar, BRRROCKKK LESNAR, is staying with the WWE. Besides all the fantasy matchups that this signing could bring, the biggest short term affect will be on the main event of this Sunday’s WrestleMania. With Brock looking like he was headed out the door, it was all but certain that Roman Reigns would capture the WWE Championship at WrestleMania, but now that Brock is back, that outcome is anything but certain. Brock himself said on Sportscenter that he will still have the belt after Sunday, and I can’t imagine anyone in that stadium cheering for Roman Reigns now. The only way I see the WWE putting the belt on Reigns is if they do a double switch, with Heyman turning on a now baby face Brock to align himself with the heel Reigns. If they do that, Reigns, who has all the qualities of a cocky heel, will turn bad guy and Brock, who is universally loved after this announcement, will be THE ultimate badass good guy. I cannot wait for Sunday!
– Ryan
Brazzers Wants To Sponsor Dolph Ziggler & It Needs To Happen ASAP
.@HEELZiggler can we make you some Brazzers tights and you can wear them on #RAW? #BrazzersMania
— Brazzers (@Brazzers) March 3, 2015
It’s not every day that two of your favorite things come together to try and make the world a better place, but that’s exactly what Brazzers is trying to do with the WWE. Brazzers is pretty much the mecca of the adult entertainment business, and Dolph Ziggler is the most porn star-esque superstar in the WWE, so this does make sense. As far as I know, we haven’t seen any design templates by Brazzers, but I have to imagine they’d be pretty obscene. Just horrifying images of graphic sex scenes on his booty shorts. It doesn’t technically mesh with the WWE’s PG product, but if Vince is going to make an exception, I think it should be for Brazzers. It’s what the people want, and it’s what I need.
– Ryan
P.S. How is Brazzers not verified? Get your act together, Twitter.
H/T UPROXX
If You Haven’t Been Following The Robert Flores/Nick Young War of Words, It’s Not Too Late To Jump On Board
In case you missed it, Sportscenter anchor Robert Flores took a dig at Lakers guard Nick Young, aka Swaggy P’s girlfriend Iggy Izalea. Here’s the original video from Sportscenter:
ESPN is trying this new thing with Sportscenter where they give a hot take on certain issues, which is making the show and their anchors a little more edgy. I’m not sure why Flores decided to pick on Azalea, but Nick Young took offense and semi threatened Flores on Twitter, which of course he soon deleted. But as we’ve seen before, nothing is REALLY deleted from the internet:
Flores, not one to be upstaged, might have landed the knockout blow last night:
.@RoFloESPN will never stop going in 🔥🔥🔥 http://t.co/2eMhzC0uUtpic.twitter.com/qBkWgRzbi3
— SB Nation (@SBNation) March 3, 2015
Although Flores initiated it, Nick Young should know better than to enter a war of words with a Sportscenter anchor. These guys are brilliant, quick witted professionals with an entire staff waiting to look up stats. Also, Nick Young is shooting 36% from the field this year, so technically Flores isn’t wrong. This is entertaining stuff, and will continue to be until one of these two is suspended or something stupid happens because we live in the most sensitive society in the history of the world.
– Ryan
Jaden Smith Had The Most Enlightened & Philosophical Response To The Dress Controversy
There Is No Dress.
— Jaden Smith (@officialjaden) February 27, 2015
Well, there you have it. As usual, Jaden Smith, the moral compass of our society, has the final word on another controversy. Obviously there is no dress. OBVIOUSLY. I bet everyone feels really silly now that it turns out there is no dress. White and gold, black and blue. It was all made up. Now we can all go back to our regularly scheduled lives until another controversy pops up that we’ll need Jaden Smith to clear up for us. In the meantime, here is my response to Jaden Smith:
– Ryan
Filed Under The We Already Knew This File: Colin Kaepernick Does Not Take Criticism Well
Coming off easily the worst year of his young career, Colin Kaepernick finds himself at a crossroads this year. He just signed a huge contract, lost his head coach and most of the offensive staff and now he’s getting into a Twitter fight with someone named Stephen Batten. Not exactly the start to the off season 49ers were looking for. Kaepernick might honestly be the worst athlete in history in regards to taking criticism. If he’s playing great, he seems like a fun guy to be around and interview, and we’ve already seen how great he can be when he’s on. When he’s playing bad? Moody city, population Colin. He snapped at reporters all season long and looked generally lost on the field, which was a big reason why the 49ers went from the NFC Championship in January of 2014 to 8-8 and home on the couch in January of 2015. I’m glad Kaepernick is already hitting the weight room and studying film, but the biggest thing he needs to work on is his attitude. Do you think you’d see Tom Brady trading jabs with some random guy on Twitter after a bad loss or a bad season? Kaepernick needs to study the off the field habits of the great quarterbacks who have been successful in this league and try his best to emulate them. If he doesn’t, it’s going to antoher long season for the 49ers.
– Ryan
via @SportsCenter
