Blog Archives
Gary Busey is Insane
No clue what to make of this. You died, came back to life and saw the crash from many perspectives? or life from many perspectives? Or the surgery? I have no fucking clue. I’m going to stop trying to decode these face books posts of his so my brain doesn’t overheat.
Hey, at least we know it’s actually him that is writing all his social media updates. How do I know this? Because if that’s his publicist writing for his Facebook then he needs to stop paying them immediately.
Another notable celeb that CLEARLY writes his own post is The Iron Sheik
Respect the Wonder Woman forever but if she fuck with me I can break her fucking neck any day
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) December 4, 2013
-Matt
The Unofficial Guide To Hashtagging
In a world where Hashtags (#hashtag) have taken over social media there needs to be a set of rules and regulations to avoid the abuse of hash-tagging. And since there are no formal rules already put in place I would like to take a shot at it. Follow these easy rules and even YOU can use hashgtags correctly!
1.) Avoid overusing hashtags
We all know this person. The type of person that puts a picture of a fence on Instagram and then proceeds to hashtag a book about it.
#Fence #WhitePicket #Paint #Yard #HuckleberryFinn #Wood #FenceGame #FenceFlow #ThatsAGoodLookingFence #WheresTheGate #iPhoneFencePicture #FencePictureFans
That is a big no no. Nobody wants to see/read that many hashtags. If you are looking for people to find and “like” your content via hashtag don’t try so hard, it looks pathetic. Stick to 2 or 3 (MAX)
2.) Make tags relevant to your content
Make you hastags relevant to your content on social media sites. That way when people use the hashtag, “#Puppy”, they see pictures and information of cute little balls of fur and not pictures of fences, sunsets, or your genitalia.
For example, if I post this Picture of Bill Paxton to Facebook below are appropriate tags to use.
#BillPaxton #AmericanTreasure #DiscoveredTheTitanic
For another example, here are some hashtags you shouldn’t use when posting a picture of say…..a sunset.
#SelfieSunday #GymFlow #MoMoneyMoProblems
3.) Do not use hashtags in the real world
Please, if you listen to any of these, listen to this one. When you use “hashtag” in real world examples you look like a moron. No, actually, a moron would know better than to do that. You would be more like…. this
-MattyV
PS- There is only one example of over-hashtagging being ok. ONLY ONE
Here it is…
You are not Justin or Jimmy, so knock it off!
(If you are Justin or Jimmy… How do you like the site? #AverageNobodies)
It’s Mind Blowing How Many People Use the Word Angle When They Meant to Use Angel
An angel and an angle, as most people know, are two very different things. Twitter refuses to acknowledge this scientific fact.
We all got angles we all got demons
— Billman (@BiLLtheKiD95) November 13, 2013
i wonder if you smile when angles bring my name up.
— 11/12/13 ♥ (@OmarsCoolAss) November 13, 2013
Even angles have their wicked schemes
— Raelyn (@livel0veShelby) November 13, 2013
She’s talking to angles counting the stars making a wish on passing cars she’s dancing with strangers waiting for superman to pick her up
— Dakota Alves (@dakotabrook96) November 13, 2013
Hells Angles
— x and o (@asformoi) November 13, 2013
I cry when angles deserve to DIIIIIIEEEEE
— Leanna (@JustLeanna14) November 13, 2013
It’s nice to know that we have so many angles looking out for us. Obtuse. Right. 90 degrees. Every single one is watching from above.
– Ryan
Home Depot Should Have an Interesting Weekend
Ah the old race joke, Never gets old, especially when it comes from a company such as the Home Depot. Everyone Is so preoccupied with their paint and vinyl siding that they fail to see how racist they are. I wonder if the black guys in the picture knew what they were posing for. I feel like they had to get the hint when the guy in the middle put on the monkey mask. At that point it’s almost as if they came too far to take a stand. Just sat down and started playing the fake drums on an empty bucket.
Naturally their has been some backlash on twitter to the tweet. Let’s check some out.
Lesson here: Vanessa Carlton is the key to stopping racism.
– Ryan
Is “The Hill Valley Project” the Best Thing on Twitter?
Just when I thought twitter might be getting a bit stale with its content, they go and do something like this! The “Hill Valley Project” is public twitter list that is currently reenacting the Back To The Future film. Here are a few sample twitter accounts/tweets involved in the action.
@_M4rtyMcFly Let me show you my plan for sending you home
— Emmett ‘Doc’ Brown (@_EmmettBrown) October 28, 2013
I’m gonna get that son of a bitch!
— Biff Tannen (@_BiffTannen) October 28, 2013
@_GeorgeMcFly 🙂 http://t.co/MpLr9IcUJo
— Lorraine (@_LorraineBTTF) October 28, 2013
@_GeorgeMcFly Jesus, George, it’s a wonder I was ever born (ಠ_ಠ)
— Marty McFly (@_M4rtyMcFly) October 28, 2013
*runs happily into the van* 🙂
— Einstein (@_EinsteinBTTF) October 26, 2013
-MattyV
So Jaden Smith is Doing Well
Jaden Smith has derailed. I know it must be tough when your father is Will Smith and you have all this pressure to succeed but Yoko Ono is starting to make more sense than Jaden Smith. Apples, the number 3, trees and eye mirrors. Those sound like entries from Creed Bratton’s manifesto, not the tweets of a sane 15 year old. Pretty soon he’ll be smashing toy trucks during a sales meeting for Callahan brakes.
– Ryan
Meet @MileyCyrusCarl, the Man with 21 Miley Cyrus Tattoos
The easy thing here would be to rip this guy. Make fun of him for getting 21 tattoos of Miley Cyrus all over his body. Question his sanity. Maybe throw a cop detail or two outside Miley’s house for the next 40 years. Call me crazy, but I respect Miley Cyrus Carl. This is legitimate dedication. I swoon over Clooney all the time but I’m 60% sure I’ll never get a tattoo of him. Carl obviously likes Miley Cyrus. He likes tattoos. The man is combining his two personal loves and creating a shrine for all the world to see. Would I get 21 tattoos of a 20 year old singer all over my body? No. But my name isn’t Miley Cyrus Carl. I feel like with a name like that you’re almost expected to tattoo Miley’s face on your arms and side. Anything less would kind of be a let down. Miley Cyrus Carl can play on my team any day as long as he stands a respectable distance away from me and my loved ones at all times.
– Ryan
Kanye West Reacts to Spoofs Well
JIMMY KIMMEL IS OUT OF LINE TO TRY AND SPOOF IN ANY WAY THE FIRST PIECE OF HONEST MEDIA IN YEARS
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
JIMMY KIMMEL PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES … OH NO THAT MEANS YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN TOO MUCH GOOD PUSSY IN YOUR LIFE…
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
YOU CAN’T PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES. YOUR FACE LOOKS CRAZY… IS THAT FUNNY?… OR IF I HAD A KID SAY IT WOULD IT BE FUNNY???
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
SHOULD I DO A SPOOF ABOUT YOUR FACE OR YOU FUCKING BEN AFFLECK…#NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECK #ALLDISRESPECTTOJIMMYKIMMEL!!!!
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
I LIKE YOU, YOU KNOW ME, I WENT TO YOUR FAMILY’S WEDDING
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
WHO YOU MADE IT CLEAR TO ME WASN’T YOUR FAMILY WHEN I WAS ON THEN PHONE WITH YOU 5 MINUTES AGO, YOU MANIPULATIVE MEDIA MUTHERFUCKER.
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
SARAH SILVERMAN IS A THOUSAND TIMES FUNNIER THAN YOU AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT!!!
— KANYE WEST (@kanyewest) September 27, 2013
I still can’t figure out if Jimmy Kimmel is trolling us again or if Kanye is legitimately upset about this video. The tricky part is both could conceivably be true. Jimmy Kimmel loves to mess around with the internet, and he’s fresh off his fire twerking video that fooled a good amount of people. Kanye West is an asshole, so I could also see him freaking out over a joke. Guy loves fish dicks, it’s just what he does. All I know is capital letters and exclamation point Kanye usually means business. You know it’s real when he spells motherfucker wrong too. Ferocious rage. Time will tell who’s playing who, but my money is on Kimmel.
– Ryan
P.S. The most impressive thing about his entire situation is Kanye’s expertise in photo shop.
