Blog Archives
The @Banff_Squirrel is My New Favorite Thing on Twitter
Goggle tan season at our @SkiBig3com resorts! The look goes well with these record March snowfalls… pic.twitter.com/wAqyuGatbZ
— Banff Squirrel (@Banff_Squirrel) April 2, 2014
A little background to this adorable twitter account: I work for an escorted tour company and every now and then we get to sit through presentations from tourism boards across the world that want us to sell their product. The most recent presentation was from the Canadian Tourism Board, more specifically Banff Springs and Lake Louise. The legend of the squirrel started years ago with this picture:
I don’t want to over exaggerate but that’s a pretty phenomenal photobomb. Almost immediately after this picture was sent into the Tourism Board, the legend of the Banff Squirrel was created. The twitter account is an extension of that legend, and the Banff Squirrel has been “photo bombing” people all over Banff and Lake Louise.
Great day exploring #mybanff yesterday with @EarthXplorer! @TravelAlberta pic.twitter.com/clFokQ6WFS
— Banff Squirrel (@Banff_Squirrel) January 24, 2014
Slainte, twitter chums! May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. And our ale never turn musty. pic.twitter.com/gqleX6YurW
— Banff Squirrel (@Banff_Squirrel) March 17, 2014
The Banff Squirrel is now the official ambassador of that region, and I for one think its doing a hell of a job. So go check it out on Twitter or don’t and be a Debbie Downer. The choice is yours.
– Ryan
Captain Morgan Learned the Hard Way That Americans Will Literally Eat or Drink Taco Flavored Anything
Introducing the new Captain Morgan Taco Rum. You’ve never tasted taco rum quite like this before. #LifeLoveLoot pic.twitter.com/MEOroMmilF
— Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 1, 2014
Captain Morgan Taco Rum is 5 times taco’d for a smoother, fiesta-like taste. #LifeLoveLoot #taco — Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 1, 2014
Looks like the joke’s on me. Some people actually want a taco flavored rum? #TacosForDays#AprilFools
— Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 2, 2014
I love the effort here on Captain Morgan’s part, but when you bring tacos into the mix you’re just over matched. We will literally eat or drink anything with the word taco in it. It doesn’t even have to taste like tacos. You just have to put the word in there and people will go for it. I really wouldn’t be surprised if people start an uproar because this DOESN’T exist. In the 24 hours it took to come out as a joke I bet millions of people planned Captain Morgan taco party’s this weekend. Part of me wants to say its cool but a much larger part of me thinks its disturbing. But then that small part of me eats a taco and everything makes sense again. Better luck next year, Captain.
– Ryan
I Need to Go to This Fake George Clooney Party
You’re cordially (not) invited to George Clooney’s pool party! More honest invitations: http://t.co/QuCm7wsPeR #LNSM pic.twitter.com/02z3OUM36d
— Late Night (@LateNightSeth) April 1, 2014
How long have I’ve been saying I want to go to one of Clooney’s parties? Years, that’s how long. It’s the only dream I have left. To hang out with George at one of his fancy parties and become best friend bachelors forever and ever and ever. I’m going to Italy in 6 days and one of my stops just so happens to be Lake Como. The same Lake Como where Clooney has a house. Not even the Italian Guard (?) can stop me now. Although this invitation is fake, Clooney ABSOLUTELY has pool parties with just his famous friends and the 30 hottest women on the planet. I know it for a fact. That’s just how he rolls. Game. Set. Clooney.
– Ryan
The Rock Premiered The New “Hercules” Trailer on Twitter And It Looks Insane
So it’s basically The Rock in a loincloth fighting oversized animals, but I’ll probably give it a shot. I fancy myself a history buff, but I gotta say, I did not know Hercules fought so many animals. Lions, boars, sea snakes. You name it, Hercules has fought it apparently. I’m assuming he defeats all these animals and makes sweet love to that gorgeous woman in the trailer. Just another day in the life of a silverback gorilla.
– Ryan
The Iron Sheik is NOT Happy With the Indian Ocean
FUCK THE INDIAN OCEAN
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) March 24, 2014
Indian Ocean I going to break your fucking neck next time I see you. #MH370
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) March 24, 2014
Big time mistake by the Indian Ocean here. You can’t just mess around with planes while The Iron Sheik is roaming this wonderful planet. I think this could be considered a new level of crazy. Back in the day if someone was crazy they would talk to themselves. I think we need an updated version of that, and this is where it starts. “He’s so crazy he’s telling a body of water that he’s going to break it’s neck.” I’m going to feel REALLY stupid if I’m wrong but I do not think bodies of water have necks. Just doesn’t make sense to me. I also have an inkling that The Iron Sheik thinks the Indian Ocean is an actual living, breathing organism. It has legs and arms and a neck and he might run into it at the bar one night. Bless his demented heart.
– Ryan
Sellotape Selfies Are a Thing and I Don’t Know What Universe I Live in Anymore
Source – The latest Facebook craze is to take a selfie after wrapping your head in clear packing tape. To us, this looks dangerous. We advise against it. However:
Hey you guys! pic.twitter.com/T3lOBQXne6
— Sellotape selfies (@Sellotapeselfe) March 20, 2014
I’m done 😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/XxZIznWzLO
— Sellotape selfies (@Sellotapeselfe) March 20, 2014
#misspiggypic.twitter.com/7pXEv1p1hw
— Sellotape selfies (@Sellotapeselfe) March 20, 2014
The #SELFIE song is dumb and stupid but compared to Sellotape Selfies it’s the goddamn greatest thing since sliced bread. I really don’t even want to write about this but I think the world needs to know that people like this exist. These are human beings that actually complete tasks in our society. If for whatever reason you want more of this follow @Sellotapeselfie
– Ryan
Cat Fightttttttt
Girl if ur worried abt where tongues have been good thing ur ex boo is ur EX BOO cause we ALL know where THAT 👅 been pic.twitter.com/IO6KwRzw2y
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) March 6, 2014
Now those are fighting words if I’ve ever seen them. Once you bring ex boyfriends into the mix, especially one’s that are fresh wounds, you’re asking for trouble. Miley Cyrus vs. Katy Perry. Sounds like a dream/nightmare I once had. All I know is there is only way to settle this, and its the only way people should ever settle their differences: steel cage match. Somebody fire up the internet we need to book this pronto.
– Ryan
P.S. This is the exact reason why I follow Miley Cyrus on Twitter. Ultimate wildcard.
Our Fans Are so Awesome that we Decided to Put out a SECOND TNW this Week!
Too many awesome tweets to contain them in just one episode of Twitter News Weekly. Will a second TNW become a regular thing? Maybe! What do you think? Comment below!
-The Average Nobodies
