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Don’t You Dare Ask a Mayor in Florida For Directions – Don’t YOU DARE

FloridaAlachua Mayor Gib Coerper is under investigation for an altercation with a tractor-trailer truck driver who was backing up his truck on a city street.

The truck driver, Timothy Dixon of Memphis, Tennessee, said Coerper appeared drunk when the incident happened Tuesday night.

“I got lost when the GPS gave the wrong way. I was getting ready to back up when he pulls up,” Dixon said. “He got out and said he was tired of dumb truck drivers. I was like, what? He went off on me. He got up onto my truck and told me he would get me fired. He pushed me. They were telling me he was the mayor, and I said, ‘He’s the mayor acting like this?’ ”

Coerper could not be reached for comment Thursday afternoon.

Alachua Police Department spokesman Detective Jesse Sandusky said an officer took a report on the incident, adding that the investigation was turned over to the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office to avoid the appearance of a conflict of interest.

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The nerve of Timothy Dixon to ask the Mayor of Alachua for directions. He’s got balls the size of grapefruits approaching an elected official for directions. Probably not the best move here by the Mayor though. Not only are you assaulting a guy just asking for directions, but you’re doing it while informing him that you are in fact the Mayor. Nobody is going to mistake this guy for a rocket scientist, but this is a pretty stupid move. Also, are lost truck drivers an epidemic in Florida? It’s not like this guy was asking the Mayor for a kidney; he just wanted to know where the goddamn highway was. Florida, you crazy bitch. Don’t ever change (please change).

– Ryan

P.S. Gip? Get a better name, buddy.

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Alison Bologna, Welcome to the Local News Hall of Fame

Gotta love the local news. Just calling firetrucks fucktrucks like it ain’t no thang. Rhode Island was quiet for a while after the bear lady took the nation by storm. But my favorite newscaster with a deli meat for a last name refuses to let Rhode Island go quietly into the night. Not the most original blooper, but whenever you can sneak an F bomb onto the local news you’ve got my attention.

– Ryan

P.S. Never forget:

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