It’s Not Officially Football Season Until Tom Brady Puts Out An A+ Social Media Post #NFLKickoff2017
Leave it Tom Brady to get me pumped the fuck up for the NFL season. I guess it’s not enough that the Patriots are favored to win every game this year. They also need to have their most likely GOAT QB put together a goose bump inducing video package to get everyone jacked up. I’m not even a Patriots fan and I want to run through a goddamn wall right now. If you need me, I’ll be watching Brian Hoyer and Pierre Garcon highlights while I wait for the 49ers game on Sunday. I’m so sad.
Full disclosure: I’m not a Patriots fan, but after these last few months, it’s getting harder and harder not to like Tom Brady. Not only does he lead the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history, but he breaks the passing yards record for a single Super Bowl and wins me a nice sum of money. On top of that, he gave football fans what will probably go down as one of, if not THE greatest Super Bowl in NFL history (unless you live in the Atlanta area). Off the field he owns social media, and the main reason are posts like this. For those that don’t know, Brady’s game worn jersey went missing the night of the Super Bowl and has yet to be found. While it’s currently valued at over $500,000, it’ll probably never be found, because it’s impossible to sell it publicly without getting arrested. That’s not stopping Tom from building a suspect board and trying out a little bit of vigilante justice. The suspects include Julian Edelman, Lady Gaga, Pyat Pree from Game of Thrones, Norm Snively from Air Bud, O’Doyle from Billy Madison, Gollum, Tom Brady’s own handsome dog and my personal favorite, Prison Michael Scott. If this suspect board doesn’t find the thief, then I’m afraid all hope is lost.