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Music Thursday – All About That Bass

Can’t get enough of this song and the rest of Meghan’s music! Catchy stuff.

-Matt

**UPDATE**
Here is the song with The Roots and Jimmy going in on it. They should release their own album of just these “cover”songs they do. I’d buy 1,000,000 copies.
 

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Brock Lesnar Does Not Give a Fuck About You In This Awesome Lesnar/Cena Promo Video From Last Night’s Raw

Last night’s Raw was great, if you like constant WWE Network plugs and 45 second Ziggler/Cesaro matches. Just like any other Raw though, it did have it’s highlights, and one of the bigger highlights was the John Cena/Brock Lesnar rivalry video that WWE is going to use to hype their main event title match at Summerslam. Lesnar doesn’t get to talk often, and for good reason: he has arguably the greatest heel mouth piece in wrestling history. But when he does get to talk, it’s usually a non scripted berating of his opponent and it’s glorious. Lesnar’s WWE deal is unlike any other deal in WWE history, and that’s because there has never been, and probably never will be, anyone like him. He’s a bad guy in every sense of the word, but when he gets in the ring and does his thing it’s impossible not to respect him. Also, Brock Lesnar does not give a fuck about you. Comforting.

– Ryan

WWE Battleground Predictions

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Battleground is this Sunday. John Cena is defending his title in the main event and all is right with the world. Let’s get to the predictions.

Naomi vs. Cameron

It looks like the Funkadactyls are really splitting up (tear). Naomi is far more interesting/athletic than Cameron, so I’m hoping she pulls out a victory here. It looked like Naomi was going to be the #1 contender for Paige’s title, but then AJ Lee came back, which is a far more interesting feud for Paige. Most likely scenario: Naomi defeats Cameron, then get’s a beat down post match from Cameron and the resident lunatic Alicia Fox. Most unlikely scenario: Brodus Clay comes back and T-Bone suplexes everyone.

AJ Lee vs. Paige (WWE Divas Championship Match)

The main reason I like this feud is because both ladies can play their natural characters. AJ Lee looks like a baby face, Paige looks like a heel. AJ takes some time off to get married to he who shall not be named, and when she comes back, she’s a baby face. Paige has been an undercover heel ever since she “came out to congratulate” AJ on the Raw after WrestleMania, so why not just push her all the way. Most likely scenario: AJ retains, setting up a rematch at  Summerslam where Paige gets her true big moment with a title win. Most unlikely scenario: CM Punk comes back as the special guest referee, turns on AJ and proposes to Paige in the middle of the ring.

Jack Swagger vs. Rusev (USA vs. Russia!)

In case you missed Monday’s Raw, the Rusev/Lana vs. Swagger/Colter détente was the best segment of the show. Most of the credit for this great buildup has to go to Lana and Rusev, because wrestling 101 says you can’t have a loved baby face without a hated heel. The best part about this whole thing is Swagger and Colter have not changed a bit. They still defend America, they still hate foreigners, except this time we hate the foreigners too. Lana is so pitch perfect in her role, and she’s gone from smart heel (America is crumbling) to crazy heel (America is stupid) which is very important. It’s tough to hate a heel when everything they’re saying is right. It’s easy to hate a heel when they’re just ignorant. Most likely scenario: I really want Rusev to win here. I think it’s too early to break his undefeated streak, and this is the best WWE has built up a wrestler in awhile. This is exacly how they should of built up Ryback, with squash matches to start then slowly challenge him with real threats. Rusev with the Accolade for the win. Most unlike scenario: Colter/Obama rush the ring to save Swagger from a Lana/Rusev/Putin three on one attack.

Intercontinental Title Battle Royal

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Poor Bad News Barrett. Not only did he have to forfeit his title, but now he has to sit ringside Sunday and watch somebody else take it from him. There’s a lot of quality talent in this match, and I’m assuming whoever wins will be feuding with BNB upon his return. My two picks would be Cesaro and Bo Dallas. Cesaro because he’s the best guy in the match, and he really needs some direction. Bo Dallas because he’s the best heel in this match, and I’m assuming BNB comes back as a baby face. Plus, imagine that victory lap after a title win!? Most likely scenario: Cesaro wins and continues his over the top rope battle royal dominance. Most unlikely scenario: Zack Ryder lasts more than 12 seconds.

Ric Flair vs. The Ring

Just kidding. That would be good though.

The Uso’s vs. Harper & Rowan (2 out of 3 Falls for the Tag Team Championship)

I thoroughly enjoyed this match at MITB, and I have zero problem giving these teams enough time to put on a classic. The usual recipe for 2 out of 3 falls matches are a quick first fall, then the other team winning the second fall setting up a third and final winners take all match. The Uso’s have been great as tag team champs, but I love @akathemaskedman’s prediction of Harper & Rowan winning here, setting up a feud with Goldust and Stardust at Summerslam. If that happens, WWE can take all my money, and the tag team scene will officially be back on the map. Most likely scenario: Harper & Rowan win, and we finally have a true heel(s) as a champion. Most unlikely scenario: The Uso’s pull a Bella twins magic switch to retain and I light myself on fire.

Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho

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This is the feud that will prove WWE is taking Wyatt seriously as a performer. He’s feuded with top stars (Bryan, Cena) but has looked like absolute shit. I think people are so  caught up in the uniqueness of the character that they refuse to see anything wrong with it. Don’t get me wrong, he’s amazing. He’s magic on the microphone and he’s getting better and better in the ring. He adds little subtleties to his character, like the spider walk, or making his own shirts, that are awesome. But his promo got “boring” chants on Raw, and while the crowd was dumb for chanting it, I definitely understand it. Uproxx wrote an article on five ways to tweak his character, and I love their points. He says he doesn’t care about wins and losses, yet whenever he’s losing, Harper & Rowan rush the ring to make sure he doesn’t lose. He says he wants to change John Cena, bring out the darkness in him, then he loses two out of three PPV matches and moves on. Part of this is WWE’s fault, but part of it has to fall on the performer. Who cares about the little girl who had no friends in high school. Who cares about the having the whole world in your hands. Fuck the fans. Adapt that CM Punk cult personality and show everyone why you’re right and they’re wrong. He’s got the right dance partner in baby face Jericho, so let’s see if this is the feud that puts Wyatt over the top. Most likely scenario: Jericho steals a non convincing victory, because this feud should go on for a few more PPV’s. Most unlikely scenario: Wyatt get’s distracted by Jericho’s light up jacket, falls out of his rocking chair, and we never see him again.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

AKA the match of the night. There’s no reason these two shouldn’t go out and just tear the house down. They’re familiar with each other, and they have a clear reason to be fighting: Rollins turned his back on his brother to be a corporate yuppie, and you don’t turn your back on a legitimate psycho. I expect Ambrose to be the brawler and Rollins to duck and cover for the beginning of this match, but then they should fly. Most likely scenario: Rollins wins, possibly with some help from The Authority. Most unlikely scenario: Dean Ambrose gets on the microphone post match and declares his new name is Jeans Ambrose.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane vs. Randy Orton – Fatal Four Way WWE Championship Match

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Cena wins. That much is clear. But this should be a good showcase for Roman Reigns, the heir apparent to the baby face throne. Kane and Orton have also been teasing a lot of tension lately, so I wouldn’t be surprised if their bickering led to Cena pinning either one of them to retain. This will lead to Plan B, which is Seth Rollins, but since Plan B is always interrupted by Jeans Ambrose (his new name now. it has been decided), HHH will have no other option but to go with Paul Heyman’s Plan C, Brock Lesnar. I don’t think Lesnar shows up at Battleground, but his return is looming. Hopefully this match serves three purposes: get Reigns out of the title picture for now and have him feud with Orton/HHH. Have Cena move on and get his ass kicked by Lesnar. Have Kane retire forever. Most likely scenario: And still WWE Champion, JAAAAHHHHNN Ceeeennnaaa. Most unlikely scenario: anything else.

 

Enjoy the PPV, and follow us @averagenobodies as we’ll be live tweeting. I’ll make a lot of Jeans Ambrose jokes. Have a good weekend everybody.

– Ryan

 

 

 

 

Seahawks GM, Brian Floyd, Knows How To Party

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You aren’t a real champion until you strap on the WWE title, everyone knows that. This is starting to become a “thing” among professional sports and I love it.

-Matt

I Think Jim Harbough is a Legitimate Crazy Person

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I’m having a hard time coming up with another explanation for this picture. It’s one thing to run all the way onto the field after the play is over. It’s ANOTHER thing to be completely on the field while the play is going on. It’s like he just forgot where he was or what he was supposed to be doing and just wanted to see the play. I don’t know if I should be happy or concerned that this man is leading my favorite football team into the Conference title game. The only comforting thing is I know he won’t be psyched out in Seattle. You can’t psych out a crazy person.

– Ryan

The Title Belt the WWE is Giving the Cy Young Winners is Cooler Than Any Other Sports Trophy

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The WWE just making every other sports trophy look stupid. You’re lying to yourself if you say you don’t need this. This is by far the coolest award any human being can be given. A title belt with your face on one side and your team logo on the other. Class on top of class. Just shows you how smart Vinnie Mac is. Basically throwing the old Cy Young trophy under the bus. I wouldn’t be surprised if he challenged Bud Selig to a steel cage match at the Royal Rumble this year. He just gets more unpredictable as the years go on.

As a side note, what are the odds Scherzer and Kershaw ever pitch again? If I ever got a title belt from the WWE for any achievement I’d retire the same day. No Cy Young, MVP or World Series trophy can ever trump the title belt. Game, set, Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

– Ryan

My Favorite Summerslam Moment – Summerslam 2000 1st Ever TLC Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship

For the past 25 years, Summerslam has been WWE’s biggest party of the summer. It’s been the showcase for many memorable moments and matches, including Macho Man’s wedding to Miss Elizabeth and the Ultimate Warrior’s first WWF title, a 31 second defeat of then Intercontinental champion “The Honkey Tonk Man”. Perhaps no superstar has a better Summerslam résumé than Bret Hart. The Hitman was a participant in three of the most memorable Summerslam matches of all-time: vs. his brother Owen Hart in a steel cage in ’94, vs. Mr. Perfect for the IC title in ’91, and vs. his brother in law, The British Bulldog, in ’92. The latter of those three has been dubbed the greatest Summerslam moment ever, mostly due to the “family feud” angle leading up to the pay per view and the venue (Wembley Stadium in London, Bulldog’s home country). While their match at SS ’92 was definitely a classic, I went down a different route for my favorite match at the summer classic. The year is 2000, and the WWE is operating at an all time high. The Rock, Kurt Angle, HHH, Stone Cold and The Undertaker are dominating the main event scene, but the consistent show stealing matches are coming from the tag team division. Summerslam 2000 would be no different. Although HHH vs. The Rock vs. Kurt Angle for the WWF championship was the main event, the match people would be talking about was for the tag team titles. The Dudley Boyz, Edge & Christian and The Hardys would compete in the first ever TLC match, and the rest, as they say, is history.

– ryanfoges

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