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Ep 20 – The Best Movies from 20 Years Ago

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My New Goal in Life is To Be Best Friends With Leonardo DiCaprio

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Best friends gotta hug! Surprising to see Leo show up on SNL because he basically hates all types of talk show appearances, but when your friend asks a favor you show up and reenact the Titanic with him. This proves two things: Leo is probably the coolest guy in the world and Jonah Hill has the greatest group of friends in history. Franco, Rogen, Pitt, DiCaprio. Save some for the rest of us man.

– Ryan

P.S. I hope Clooney see’s this. You can only spurn my advances for so long before I move on.

New T – Bill Paxton Discovered The Titanic

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The Average Nobodies, giving credit where credit is due. Click the shirt for more information and to get your own!

-The Average Nobodies

Pope John Paul II On His Way To Sainthood Is A Direct Slap In The Face To Bill Paxton

VATICAN CITY (AP) — Pope John Paul II has cleared the final obstacle before being made a saint, awaiting just the final approval from Pope Francis and a date for the ceremony that could come as soon as Dec. 8, a Vatican official and news reports said Tuesday. The ANSA news agency reported that a commission of cardinals and bishops met Tuesday to consider John Paul’s case and signed off on it. A Vatican official confirmed that the decision had been taken some time back and that Tuesday’s meeting was essentially a formality. One possible canonization date is Dec. 8, the feast of the Immaculate Conception, a major feast day for the Catholic Church. This year the feast coincidentally falls on a Sunday, which is when canonizations usually occur. The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he is not authorized by the church to discuss saint-making cases on the record, confirmed reports in La Stampa newspaper that John Paul could be canonized together with Pope John XXIII, who called the Second Vatican Council but died in 1963 before it was finished. There is reasoned precedent for beatifying or canonizing two popes together, primarily to balance one another out. John Paul has been on the fast track for possible sainthood ever since his 2005 death, but there remains some concern that the process has been too quick. Some of the Holy See’s deep-seated problems — clerical sex abuse, dysfunctional governance and more recently the financial scandals at the Vatican bank — essentially date from shortcomings of his pontificate. Defenders of the fast-track process argue that people are canonized, not pontificates.

– Yahoo/AP

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Vs.

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Wow. There are slaps in the face and then there are SLAPS IN THE FACE. Why doesn’t the catholic church just go to Bill Paxton’s house and kick his dog. Go beat up his grandmother in a nursing home. I am shocked and appalled. In all seriousness what did Pope John Paul II really do? Every picture I’ve ever seen of him he’s sitting in a chair. Tough life. I wouldn’t mind sitting in a chair all day wearing beautiful robes and fancy hats,  all the while being the moral authority for one of the largest religions in the modern world. Bill.Paxton, on the other hand, discovered the fucking Titantic. He chased down massive tornadoes with Helen Hunt. He went to the goddamn moon with Kevin Bacon and Tom Hanks. I don’t think I’ve ever been more upset about something in my life. If Bill Paxton isn’t canonized in my lifetime then I would have live an unfulfilled life. And it will be all Pope John Paul II’s fault.

– Ryan

P.S. No way the Pope can grow a beard like that. Paxton owns him again.

Movie of the Decade

Washington, Wahlberg, AND Paxton!? Movie of the decade! Calling it now.  I mean, how could it not be?! Bill Paxton might rival Lucifer for the greatest heel of all time in this one.  Guys got it all.

-MattyV

P.S. Ryan, how excited is your dad for another Denzel movie? Its been a while.

Nothing Like A Casual Craigslist Search

“Looking for someone to paint me as a centaur (west warwick) – I want someone to paint me as a centaur. Bottom half horse top half me. Please be able to actually paint. I will need to see other work you have done. Shoot me and email and give me a price. maybe we can meet in a park one day and i’ll pack a lunch. But seriously, this is legit.”

I knew I should have taken art classes when I was a kid! This is a post, directly from Craigslist, that I received from a inside source.  First, let me first point out, power move by wanting to be painted as a centaur.  No little bitch real animals like a tiger or lion, NO, a creature straight from fucking myth!  Personally I would have gone the griffin route, but I applaud your tenacity.  As epic as this sounds, and it seems like you have all your bases covered, let me just say if you have to explain what a centaur is to your painter, then they are not ready to paint you.  Be a little more selective, pal.  You run a convincing argument all the way up until the last few lines. “maybe we can meet in a park one day and i’ll pack a lunch”. Really? A guy who desires a mural of himself painted as a centaur wants to meet in a park? I was expecting him to either invite me to his yacht or his trailer home, all i’m saying is that it could go either way.  Pack a lunch? Is this turning into a picnic? Because if so, I am even angrier that I cannot paint.  There is nothing like a good picnic, the sites, the sounds, feeding each other fresh fruits…….I digress.  Not even the great Bob Ross (RIP) could get me prepared for this job.  But at least we know that this offer is “Legit”.
ImageDon’t you give up, someday you will find your artist, and they will paint you wearing this, and only this.
-Mattyv
P.S. Just so it’s clear, Bill Paxton discovered the Titanic.
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