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Trailer Alert – Jumanji 2: Welcome to the Jungle

If you told me back in 1999 that The Rock would one day be doing the people’s eyebrow as the lead in a Jumanji remake, I would have many, many questions for you. Since The Rock can do whatever he wants, here he is in a Jumanji remake, doing the people’s eyebrow in what looks like it’s going to be a really fun movie. I like the twist too, as The Rock isn’t going to be playing a macho character, and Jack Black will be forced to actually try to be funny when he’s playing someone who looks like current day Jack Black with the personality of a popular high school girl. Rock and Kevin Hart have great comedic timing together, so they should be hysterical, too. With the way the roles play it out in the trailer, it looks like Karen Gillan could turn out to the bad ass star in the movie, which is a refreshing take for a movie starring The Rock. Jumanji 2 is scheduled to premier December 20th.

-Ryan

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Trailer Alert – Baywatch

Once The Rock signed on and started promoting the shit out of the Baywatch remake, I knew it was going to be a fun movie. It’s one of those movies where you don’t even need to watch the trailer or read a plot synopsis. The Rock and Zac Efron will be busting each other’s balls the whole film, and when they’re not doing that, they’ll be saving innocent bystanders or running around with their shirts off. Alexandra Daddario and Kelly Rohrbach, two of the hottest women on the planet, compliment The Rock and Efron like chocolate compliments strawberries. It’s a perfect mix of actors/characters and I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t even watch the trailer. It’s not necessary, because I’ll bet my entire collection of marbles that this movie dominates Memorial Day 2017 and turns into one of those movies you’ll be able to watch a million times over.

-Ryan

Your Average WrestleMania 32 Preview & Predictions

Before we get into it, how amazing does that set look? I can’t wait to see the finished product. WrestleMania 32 is live this Sunday from Dallas, Texas. If you need more hype than that for WrestleMania, you’re in the wrong place. Let’s get to the preview and predictions!

Pre-Show

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This one is kind of a toss up. You’d think if WWE was serious about Braun Strowman, they’d give him a ‘WrestleMania’ moment without having him actually have to wrestle a match. That moment should be right here. Big Show has already won it, and the rest of the guys in this match are literal throw away characters. There are reports of Cesaro returning and entering the battle royal, but he already won the inaugural one, and if Cesaro is coming back. they should put him in a more important spot than a pre-show battle royal.

Prediction: Braun Strowman eliminates everyone and wins.

Natalya, Paige, Brie, Alicia, Eva vs. Lana, Naomi, Tamina, Summer, Emma

The only two people I care about in this match are Paige and Evil Emma. I’d much rather them have had a weeks long feud that ended in a one on one match at WM, but I also understand that you want to get as many people on the card as you can. I have to assume Team Total Divas wins here, because they’re the only team with a team name. As long as Evil Emma gets some good spots, I’ll be happy with either outcome.

Prediction: Team Total Divas

The Dudley Boyz vs. The Uso’s

Give me a flaming table. That’s all I’m asking for in this match. No one has to go through it, but I want it and I need it. Heel Dudley Boyz are far and way the best Dudley Boyz, and they are really only here to put over other tag teams, which is fine. Bubba Ray and Devon helped revolutionize the tag team division 15 years ago at WM17, so I don’t think it’s too much to ask to give them some cool spots this year. Regardless of the outcome of this match, Enzo & Cass are showing up on Raw Monday night and taking over.

Prediction: Uso’s

Main Card

The League of Nations vs. The New Day

If you need visual proof that the WWE tag team scene is awful, look no further than the fact that the tag titles aren’t being defended at WM. Thankfully we’re still getting our New Day fix, even though it is against the League of Nations. Personally, I think this would be a perfect spot for The Rock. You want New Day to get over as good guys, so why not bring out the most popular guy in the world and have him even the odds? Chances are Rocky will come up and cut a promo, but this would be a fun and unexpected cameo that would help New Day immensely. League of Nations are bad, and I refuse to pick them to win either way.

Prediction: New. Day Rocks.

Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles

If you can ignore the fact that this feud has been centered around crowd chants, it’s been pretty entertaining. Much like the Dudleyz, Heel Jericho is forever the best Jericho, and he’s been great during his most recent run. Pairing Styles with a veteran like Jericho for his first WM feud and singles match is very smart, and I fully expect these two to put on a show. I think Styles goes over, and has his first big time WM moment with a Styles Clash win.

Prediction: AJ Styles

US Championship Match: Kalisto (C) vs. Ryback

I’m not going to lie, I’ve been digging the simplicity of this feud. Ryback is enormous. Kalisto is not. Kalisto is champion. Ryback is not. And just like that, you have a David & Goliath feud with the good guy champion and the logical heel. The only thing that really makes Ryback a heel is that he wants to beats up the guy we’re rooting for. He has every right to win matches and become the #1 contender, but we like Kalisto better so Ryback is a jerk. It’s refreshing to see WWE build up a feud without having the two competitors wrestle each other every week to see who will eventually win a wrestling match. Also, the less Ryback speaks the better off we all are. As far as the outcome, this one could really go either way, but if they’re serious about Ryback again, they should give him this win.

Prediction: Ryback

IC Championship Ladder Match: Kevin Owens (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler, Sami Zayn, The Miz, Stardust, Sin Cara, Zack Ryder

Picture this: five guys are laid out on the floor, the two remaining guys are slowly ascending up the ladder. They both reach the top at the same time and start trading punches. Who are you picturing? Zack Ryder & Sin Cara, right? HAHAHA. Sorry, I had to do that. But yeah, the only two guys who matter in this match are Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, and if you think otherwise you’re wrong. Much like last year, this match does include seven very talented guys who are all looking to have their WM moment, so I expect some crazy stuff to go down, especially since they know Shane/Taker is going to be insane. I don’t see any other outcome than having the last two standing be Zayn and Owens, and from there I’m happy with any outcome, because these two will be feuding until they’re 100 years old.

Prediction: Kevin Owens. KO Mania lives!

Diva’s Championship Match: Charlotte (c) vs. Becky Lynch, Sasha Banks

This is the match I’m the most excited for. The three main events will all be wonderful, but I started really getting into NXT during the Paige/Emma/Charlotte/Becky/Sasha/Bayley era and I feel emotionally invested in all three of these women. I’ve seen them start as NXT Divas and transform into the cream of the crop not only in NXT, but throughout the world. Now they’re in a Diva’s title match at WrestleMania and have a chance to tear the house down in front of 90,000 people. That’s pretty surreal. As much as I like Charlotte and Becky, this is Sasha’s time. They’re supposedly debuting the Women’s title on Raw the night after Mania, and there is no better pick than Sasha to be the champion. She is the rare combination of the most over female on the roster and also the best wrestler. Have Ric Flair interfere only to be taken out by Snoop Dogg. GIVE THAT TO ME, WWE.

Prediction: Sasha Banks

Street Fight: Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose

Just typing ‘street fight’ followed by ‘Brock Lesnar’ makes me nervous. I don’t know what’s going to happen in this match, but I know it’s going to be brutal. I honestly think the right call is having Lesnar win, and having Ambrose get stretchered out only to walk out under his own power. Give him all the crazy spots in the world, but one mortal man should not be able to defeat Brock Lesnar. Ambrose is going to come with his wagon of weapons, which I’d bet my life on Brock Lesnar picking up and heaving at him at one point during the match. This should be a spotlight for Ambrose, who has been a shining star during this insane stretch of injuries, but I don’t see him beating Lesnar. Between this and Shane/Taker, I really hope no one gets seriously hurt.

Prediction: Brock Lesnar

Hell in a Cell Match: Shane McMahon vs. The Undertaker

This is hands down the oddest match on the card, and if you told me 10 years ago that WM 32 would be semi main evented by The Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon I’d say I like you, but you’re crazy. But here we are, and to be honest, I am scared. Shane McMahon gave The Undertaker a flying elbow drop through a table during the opening segment of RAW, so what the hell are these two going to do at WrestleMania? I sincerely think Shane is jumping off the cell. I won’t be mad if he doesn’t, because that is very dangerous, but he’s jumping off something really high that’s going to make me watch through a hand over my eyes. Besides the insane spots, I want this to be like HHH vs. Sting last year. There’s no reason to make these two carry a 25 minute one on one match. Get the Mean Street Posse out there. Give me Stone Cold, HBK, Vince, Mick Foley. Let’s just go bananas. This is going to  be as fun as it will be scary, and I cannot god damn wait. The added stipulations of Shane winning and taking control of Raw and Undertaker losing making it his final WM are intriguing, but this is definitely not the last year for Undertaker at WM.

Prediction: The Undertaker

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: HHH (C) vs. Roman Reigns

WWE really likes this Roman Reigns guy, eh? For the second year in a row, Reigns is in the main event of WM, and for the second year in a row, the majority of fans are not having it. Last year WWE made the last second change to have Seth Rollins cash in his MITB briefcase and it was executed perfectly. This year, they don’t have Seth Rollins or the MITB briefcase to fall back on. They can’t just have Reigns win clean, especially if he overcomes the odds of interference, but having him lose the main event title match two years in a row isn’t great either. You can’t really pull off a double turn either, because HHH is also the evil authority figure that is integral to so many storylines on Raw. Apparently there has been discussion about putting on Taker/Shane last, which might be the better call, especially if they have some insane stuff planned. Even if this isn’t the main event, the goal cannot be to have the crowd mercilessly boo your new champion. I have no idea what’s going to happen. Maybe Cena shows up, but then what? Maybe the Dudleyz interfere, but then what? Don’t sleep on Bray Wyatt either, who could cause a DQ finish or take one or the other out. He doesn’t have a match on the card, and if he’s not featured at all that would be a huge mistake.

Prediction: if I’m forced to pick, I’m going to go with Reigns. I just don’t know how.

-Ryan

The Fast & Furious Franchise Will Now Feature 10 Movies & End in 2021 According To Vin Diesel & His Haunting Singing Voice

This is not a surprising move, as the last three Fast and Furious movies have each grossed over $200 million, with Fast 7 making the most money out of any of the movies. But 10 movies is still a shit load of movies. Fast & Furious is turning into the ‘Trapped in the Closet’ of the movie world. It is kind of cool that it will end 20 years after the first movie premiered in 2001, and there is apparently nothing Hollywood loves more than a sequel. As long as The Rock is involved in all three, I’m in.

-Ryan

Here’s Big E Tweeting That He’ll Never Watch ‘Ballers’ Again, Because Big E & New Day Are The Greatest

 

ICYMI, The Rock returned to Raw last night to get everyone in the world ready for WrestleMania. He was predictably wonderful, but the highlight of the entire segment was his interaction with New Day. The Uso’s and The Rock got the upper hand on New Day, but not before Big E, Kofi and Xavier Woods got some verbal shots in of their own. After Raw, Big E took to Twitter to show just how great he really is, tweeting The Rock’s HBO show ‘Ballers’ & explaining to them that he’ll never watch the show because their lead actor is a dick. If this leads to more Rock/New Day segments, I am 1,000% in.

-Ryan

The Rock Will Officially Be Apart of WreslteMania 32 In Dallas #WWE

Sweet sassy molassey this is big news. It’s been reported for awhile now that The Rock, aka Dwayne Johnson aka the biggest movie star in the world, wouldn’t be able to attend WrestleMania 32 in Dallas because of his insanely busy movie schedule. But time and time again, The Rock has proven that no matter how many movies he’s apart of and how much money he makes, the WWE will always be his home. So it shouldn’t come as too big of a surprise that per his official Instagram account, he will in fact be in Dallas this April. I doubt he’s going to wrestle, but just his presence alone is a game changer.

-Ryan

In Terrible News, The Rock Had To Put Down His Puppy Brutus After He Ate Poisonous Mushroom

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Another reminder we have to live and love as greatly as we can today, because tomorrow is never guaranteed. At approximately 11:15pm last night myself and @laurenhashianofficial had to make the painful decision to end Brutus' suffering by taking him off of life support and sending his soul to pup heaven. I held his lil' paw as he was finally at peace. As all puppies and dogs do, he ate a mushroom while playing outside with his brother Hobbs. This mushroom happened to have a lethal toxicity and within hours it was rapidly destroying his liver and immune system to the point of no return. I encourage all of you out there to be mindful of mushrooms in your yards, parks or anywhere outside your dogs play. What looks innocent, can be deadly to your lil' family members. Thank you Dr. Deckelbaum and Dr. West and the incredibly caring nurses and staff at The Animal Medical Center At Cooper City. We'll always love you Brutus.. and you'll always be my lil' main man and rough housing Brute. #RIPBrutus #WishICouldHaveSavedYouOneMoreTime #TheresPickUpTrucksInHeavenYouCanPeeIn

A post shared by therock (@therock) on

Well this is heartbreaking. The Rock is usually a pillar of positivity on social media, but whenever you have to put down a dog that all kind of changes. The Rock just posted a picture of him saving his two dogs from drowning, and frequently features them on his Instagram account. No matter who you are, the loss of a dog is a horrible feeling, mainly because you know how much they rely on you to survive. Hopefully The Rock rebounds from this quickly and continues to be a shining light in all our lives.

-Ryan

The Jacksonville Sharks’ ‘People’s Elbow’ Touchdown Celebration Is Off The Charts

The best thing about the Arena Football League (besides everything) is that you’re allowed to have a little fun. Imagine an NFL player or team trying to organize something like this? They’d probably get banned from the league for life. If you’re putting your body and mind on the line every time you step in between those white lines, you should get to let loose every once in awhile. What’s the harm in performing the peoples elbow so the millions (and millions) of fans watching are entertained? Take notes, NFL, and do better.

– Ryan

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