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025 Scotland and SXSW

Ryan visits Scotland and Matt attends SXSW…This is what happened.

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Good Luck Sleeping Ever: Thousands of Spiders Have Formed A Mega Web In Texas

MEGA WEB – If you’re an arachnophobe, a natural attraction at a Rowlett park may be the stuff nightmares are made of: A “communal” web.

How many?”I never knew spiders could do this,” a spider spectator named Pierson Clinger told us as he inspected the mega-web, spun by an army of spiders.

“Too many to my liking,” said Pierson’s sister, Mackenna.

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Oh God why. That is seriously one of the most haunting pictures I’ve ever seen. Also how about Mackenna with the understatement of the century at the end of this article. “Too many to my liking.” YOU DON’T SAY. Spiders just aren’t meant to be messed up, especially when they work together like finely tuned machines. An ‘army of spiders’ are literally the most frightening words you could ever string together in a sentence. I’d rather see the words an ‘army of gun wielding fanatics’ than an ‘army of spiders’. If this is the first step in the spider takeover, I’m moving to the ocean.

-Ryan

The Greatest NBA Player of All Time (Dirk Nowtizki) Made a Special Appearance on Conan Last Night

I think it’s safe to say Dirk is the most beloved German in the history of Texas, and god damnit he deserves it. But I’ll save my Dirk speech for this Friday night when I’m 10 beers deep. Conan is doing this week’s shows live from Dallas, Texas, so naturally Dallas’s big sports star administered the “official” Dallas Citizenship Test to Conan. I like how Dirk especially got a kick out of the Tony Romo answer. If Romo came on he’d get booed out of the building and fumble his cue cards and accidentally break his neck trying to pick them up. Not the Great Nowitzski. All time pro. And now we know Dirk is destined to be a famous TV star after his playing days are over. Poise and wit like you read about it.

– Ryan

SXSW 2014 in Pictures

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Beer + Street Meat + Average Nobodies = BlissIMG_20140310_111550 IMG_20140311_153304
Waiting to see Jimmy Kimmel Live from Austin! IMG_20140311_185207 IMG_20140309_110116 IMG_20140309_110339IMAG0069
Getting ready for our mission to MarsIMG_20140309_110845 1394729787646 1394729865897IMG_20140309_224019 IMG_20140309_225544
This man [Sunny Wolf] has the fingers of an angelIMG_20140308_213245 IMG_20140309_093626
A little shameless self-promoting never hurt anyone IMG_20140309_095542 IMG_20140309_104645download_20140308_101553_20140308_101440
Walking the red carpet like a couple of big timersdownload_20140313_110943DSC03013
Seth Rogan, Zach Effron, Mclovin, Ike Barinhotltz, and Dave Franco!DSC03018 DSC03020
Jon FaverauIMAG0055

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Can you tell we were in Texas?IMAG0083
Getting ready to shoot Twitter News Weekly from the streets of Austin!DSC03023
Q&A from Tye Sheridan and Nick Cage after their movie ‘Joe’

Let’s Talk About the Time I Got Into a Choking Contest With a Stranger

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Unfortunately there is very little documentation of this because when someone challenges you to a good old fashioned choke out you don’t wait for someone to film it you just start choking each other. And that’s exactly what happened Sunday night in Austin. What I thought was going to be an innocent game of indoor shuffleboard turned into a championship showdown of who could incapacitate their opponent. My vision is a little cloudy so I don’t remember how we got on the subject but I do know I felt like I was talking to this kid for 12 hours. Before I knew it, he was showing me choking techniques and the rest of the night was pretty much a blur. Since this kid used to be a Marine he won in every facet of a competition a human being can win at. But after this experience I now know how to choke someone out as long as they’re not too tall. That’s the beauty of SXSW: you go in expecting to learn the in’s and outs of the film business and you leave a trained fighter. I can’t wait to see what I learn next year.

– Ryan

Russel Wilson Has Been Drafted By The Rangers. In Other News, The MLB is Making Me Feel Horrible About Myself

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Though there’s certainly no indication he plans to switch sports any time soon, Seahawks QB Russell Wilson was selected off the Colorado Rockies’ minor-league roster by the Texas Rangers during Thursday’s MLB Rule 5 draft.

Wilson, who played second base, was taken twice during the MLB amateur draft — once in 2007 by the Orioles before opting to attend college, then as a 2010 fourth-rounder by the Rockies. He played two seasons in Colorado’s minor-league system, one with the short-season Class A Tri-City Dust Devils and another with A-ball’s Asheville Tourists. – SI.com

Great! Not only is Russel Wilson the QB of one of the best teams in the NFL, but he was recently drafted, again, to the MLB. Wilson, a very good baseball player at the Collegiate and minor league level, decided he would trade his glove and bat for a helmet and football in last years NFL Draft. But that doesn’t stop the MLB from drafting him. Classic case of RGR (Rich Getting Richer) and MWTKH (Matt Wants To Kill Himself). Sitting in my doctors chair getting my toenail tore out yesterday is probably that farthest anyone has ever been from getting drafted into a professional sport.

-Matt

Farewell Houston Astrodome, Home of the Greatest Wrestlemania in History

(Source) “HOUSTON (AP) — The Houston Astrodome was a technological marvel when it opened in 1965. Dubbed the “Eighth Wonder of the World,” it was the first domed and air-conditioned stadium and became Houston’s defining landmark, a symbol of the city’s can-do spirit.

But eventually, bigger and sleeker stadiums took its place, leaving the iconic structure that once hosted both professional baseball and football games empty and dilapidated, its future in limbo.

After Texas voters on Tuesday rejected a referendum that would have authorized up to $217 million in bonds to turn the Astrodome into a giant convention and event center, the stadium is likely to be demolished.

“We can’t allow the once-proud Astrodome to sit like a rusting ship in the middle of a parking lot. This was the best effort (to revamp the stadium), and voters have turned it down,” Harris County Judge Ed Emmett said. Fifty-three percent voted against the referendum.

Emmett said a final decision on what happens to the Astrodome will be up to the commissioners court, the group of local officials who manage the county. But he said the stadium’s future was pretty much sealed with the referendum’s failure. He said a decision would have to be made quickly but didn’t say exactly when that would happen.”

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The Houston Astrodome was home to many events over the past 48 years, but nothing compares to the event it held on April Fools Day, 2001. That was the night the Astrodome hosted Wrestlemania XVII, the greatest Wrestlemania of all time. WWE was in it’s heyday; the roster was stacked, and everyone who competed that night had one goal in mind: to steal the show.

Check out this ridiculous card:

Shane McMahon vs. Vince McMahon in a street fight, with Mick Foley as the special guest referee.

Hardys vs. Dudleyz vs. Edge & Christian in a TLC match for the tag team titles.

Undertaker vs HHH.

The main event: Stone Cold vs. The Rock for the WWE Championship.

You could live three lifetimes and never see a wrestling card with that much star power. If you get a chance, watch some of those matches. Every single one delivers in a big way.

Thanks for the memories Astrodome, and thanks for the greatest Wrestlemania of all time.

– Ryan

P.S. It also gave us the greatest wrestling promo of all time.

Casey Wagner Had Himself a Weekend

(Source) “An off-road racing enthusiast has survived being struck by lightning twice during the same storm in North Texas.

Casey Wagner said Sunday that doctors told him a tingling feeling would last for about a week.

KTVT-TV reports Wagner was at an off-road competition in Saint Jo, 85 miles northwest of Dallas, when storms arrived.

The 31-year-old Wagner was under a tree when he was hit by lightning. He dropped to his knees then he was struck again. Wagner says he saw sparks during the strikes.

A nurse who happened to be nearby cared for Wagner until he was taken to a hospital, where he was treated and released.

Wagner says he believes God kept him alive — and he plans to start going to church more.”

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I wrestled in bar and went 6-6 in softball and I thought I had a great weekend. Then I read about Casey Wagner and my accomplishments don’t seem so great. Getting struck multiple times by lightning and stealing the spotlight. I’ll give credit where credit is due: Casey Wagner had one hell of a weekend.

– Ryan

P.S. I’m not saying God didn’t help this guy out, but next time you’re outside during a lightning storm, don’t stand under a free

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