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Daniel Bryan Set to Undergo Neck Surgery – Where Do We Go From Here?

No!Unfortunately, the rumors floating around earlier today (May 12, 2014) were true and Daniel Bryan has, in fact, suffered a neck injury that will take him out of action for an undetermined amount of time.

He didn’t reveal the extent of his injuries during his promo on tonight’s episode of Monday Night Raw in Greenville, South Carolina, but did get emotional when saying he will have surgery this coming Thursday.

“I don’t know when I’ll be back but I do know I will be back.

“YES! YES! YES!”

No announcement was made regarding the status of the WWE world heavyweight championship, so he is not being stripped of the title, at least not yet. They also failed to acknowledge the Payback pay-per-view (PPV) scheduled for June 1 in Chicago, which could mean prior reports of his possibly making a return at that show are still possible and WWE simply doesn’t want to rule anything out just yet.

This leaves the heavy lifting to ongoing feuds between John Cena and Bray Wyatt, and Evolution and The Shield.

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The WWE Universe got some sad news last night on Raw when Daniel Bryan confirmed that he needs legitimate neck surgery and will be out from 4-6 weeks. This is especially bad news since WWE is finally starting to run with Bryan as their champion/top dog after being reluctant to elevate him for so long. Just like the CM Punk saga opened the door for Bryan to finally reach that top rung, Bryan’s injury and subsequent surgery leaves a large hole that I’m hoping various superstars can fill.

  • The Cena/Wyatt feud has cooled off considerably since WWE had Cena win at Wrestlemania, but I have faith that these two can fill some of the void left by Bryan’s absence. Wyatt is at the point where he can carry a feud on promo’s alone, and hopefully Cena realizes that WWE needs him to step it up and drop the comedy shtick and starts investing in this storyline.
  • The Shield vs. Evolution continues to be a strong story, and the “Hounds of Justice” are better than they’ve ever been. HHH, Orton and Batista are natural heels and its really impossible to dislike The Shield at this point. Their match at Extreme Rules stole the show and I wouldn’t mind seeing the build to a rematch on the next three Raws leading up to Payback.
  • The tag team division is very strong right now, and it’s time to start building some serious teams. The Uso’s are the best team going right now, and are the rightful tag team champions. You also have teams like Rybaxel, Harper & Rowan, Cody & Goldust and even The Ascension in NXT. They’ve been slow building the tag team division for awhile, but now is the time to get it back on the map.
  • Secondary titles (IC, US) need to be important again. You have two great workers (Barrett & Sheamus) holding the titles with a slew of challengers just waiting for more spotlight. Personally, I’d love to see a Sheamus/Cesaro feud for the US title and a Barrett/Ziggler feud for the IC title. These are four guys that can give you 15-20 minute of solid, heavy hitting psychological matches. It even leaves room for triple threat/fatal four way matches with guys like Del Rio, Van Dam and Swagger.

The possibilities are endless for WWE right now, and even though you never want to see a guy get sidelined with an injury, they have enough talent to keep putting on quality shows. It’ll be interesting to see where they go from here.

– Ryan

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The Pelicans Mascot Gets Plastic Surgery Because This is the Fucking NBA

pierre-surgery

The team had announced that Pierre the Pelican was to have reconstructive surgery for “a broken beak,” which it reportedly suffered after running into a basket stanchion during a game with other mascots. – ESPN

pierre-the-pelican

Apparently this is what the NBA has come to: Flopping and mascots getting reconstructive surgery. Good old Pierre teaching kids that if you are ugly and scary you can always just mess around with your face so people won’t run screaming from you.

pierre 2

Jesus, he was scary

new-pierre-the-pelican-2Now he just looks like Jay Leno.

-Matt

 

So Bruce Jenner is Actually Turning Into a Woman

Surgery: A source claimed to The National Enquirer at the time that the 64-year-old former Olympian had undergone surgery to reduce the appearance of his Adam's Apple

A picture is worth a thousand words. And apparently Kris Jenner is so awful to be with that she makes you want to be a woman. An elegant, jump suit wearing woman.

– Ryan

This is Gronks World, We Are Just Living In It

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Someone’s ready for christmas! Not even a totally shredded knee can keep this guy down!

-Matt

PS- He will be back to giving double-armed DDT before you know it!

Bruce Jenner’s Transformation Into a Woman is Almost Complete

Source – Bruce Jenner is allegedly planning on flattening his Adam’s Apple.

The 64-year-old reportedly met with a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon on Thursday for a consultation regarding the procedure, known as chondrolaryngoplasty (or tracheal shave), reports TMZ.

The operation reduces the size of the cartilage in the neck, and is typically performed on patients in the initial stages of gender reassignment surgery.

6th Annual George Lopez Celebrity Golf Classic

Bruce Jenner is either drawing out his sex change operation or he wants his body to be 100% plastic. Normally you can pin point exactly what a person is trying to do, but not with Bruce. He is a true wildcard. The worst thing is we have no blueprint for a person like Bruce. I can’t remember anyone in the history of the world who started his life as a male Olympic athlete and slowly turned into a lesbian. I wasn’t even aware that was possible. Somehow he’s pulling it off. On a side note, getting your Adam’s apple trimmed down sounds like the most painful thing in the world. Just tell the world your plans, Bruce. And stop wearing visors if you don’t want to be called a lesbian.

– Ryan

If You Hang Out With Bruce Dusting, You Better Be Ready to Marry Him

(Source) “A woman who turned down a marriage proposal  from a well-to-do suitor was shocked when he handed a bill of more than £115,000  for everything he claims to have spent on her.

Single mother Marie Lacombe, 42, from  Melbourne, Australia, says she and 65-year-old Bruce Dusting were never  romantically involved.

But it seems he felt differently about their relationship, claiming she led him on to extract money from him to fund Zumba classes, shopping trips and even cosmetic surgery.

Ms.Lacombe met Mr. Dusting four years ago when  she began teaching him dance. The pair became good friends, with Mr. Dusting  taking her for dinner and visiting her home regularly.

But things between them turned sour when he  asked for her hand in marriage – and she turned him down.

Now he has handed her an itemized bill  outlining every single penny he ever gave her or spent on her behalf, which  amounts to a hefty AU$200,000 (£116,638).”

Bruce Dusting

Poor Bruce. He gives this lady $155,000 of his own money for Zumba and clothes and surgery, and she can’t even give him the common courtesy of her hand in marriage? Appalling. Now he’s sulking on his couch, alone and confused. What did Marie really expect in this situation. A rich old man is giving you endless amounts of money, taking you out to dinner and basically letting you live your dream life. You didn’t think he was going to come back and want something in return. Granted marriage is kind of an odd request, but Bruce Hastings is a man who zeroes in on something and gets it. Except in this case, because now he’s just a sad old man.

– Ryan

P.S. Marie is the worst looking 42 year old on planet Earth.

Marie Lacombe

Toby Shelton Really Likes Justin Bieber

(Source) “A 33-year-old man has spent five years and  $100,000 in an effort to look like his hero – teenaged pop idol Justin  Bieber.

Toby Sheldon is a songwriter from Los  Angeles who has used Bieber’s youthful features as the inspiration for numerous  surgeries, including face fillers, a chin reduction and eyelid  surgery.

Sheldon’s obsession with his  appearance began when he started having treatments to prevent his hair thinning  at the age of 23, but really took off when a pre-pubescent Justin Bieber hit the  big-time in 2008.

Sheldon, along with hordes of preteen girls,  became enamored of the pop star.

‘Once Justin shot to fame his face was  everywhere and I all I kept  thinking when I saw his picture was, “I want to  look like him,”‘ Sheldon says.

Sheldon had already spent $8,000 on hair  transplants to supplement his thinning blond locks, but he wasn’t happy with the  results.

 He took a picture of Bieber to his plastic  surgeon to demonstrate exactly how he wanted his hair to look.

‘It took three transplants and a total of  $21,000 to accurately lower my hair line, close off my temples and grow back my  bangs,’ he says.

Once he had perfected his Bieber-style hair,  Sheldon, who admits to a phobia of aging, decided he wasn’t finished.”

Toby Sheldon - Justin Bieber Look-A-Like\n2013 - Age 33

There are a lot of things I’d spend $100,000 on. A house, a car, a romantic getaway with Clooney; pretty much anything that involves food, beer or movies. What I wouldn’t spend $100,000 on is plastic surgery to make myself look like Justin Bieber. It’s kind of haunting that a 33 year old, someone who clearly doesn’t require any plastic surgery whatsoever, would not only spend that much money on plastic surgery, but do it specifically so he looks like a 19 year old pop singer. This is what you call an unhealthy obsession. If you’re fortunate enough to have this much spare cash, and you spend it on plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber, you’re insane. Plain and simple. That picture will haunt me forever.

– Ryan

Apparently 2 Year Olds Are Getting Gastric Bypass Surgery Now

(Really?)  “A morbidly obese two-year-old has become the  youngest person in the world to undergo a gastrecstomy – where most of the  stomach is cut away.

The parents of the toddler from Saudi Arabia  – who weighed more than 5st and had a Body Mass Index of 41 – sought help  because he suffered severe breathing problems while asleep.

Two attempts to control his weight by dieting  failed, wrote his surgeons in an article in the International Journal of Surgery  Case Reports.

Gastrectomy is a drastic alternative to  gastric band or bypass surgery – none of which would ever be carried out on  pre-teen children in the UK.

When he first presented to an endocrinologist  at 14 months the toddler weighed 3st 4lb, but after dieting for four months his  weight increased to more than 4st.

The doctors from Prince Sultan Military  Medical City at Riyadh were unable to ascertain whether the child’s parents had  stuck to the diet.”

Operation: A morbidly obese two-year-old has become the youngest person in the world to undergo bariatric surgery

So this is where we are at as a society. 2 year olds are now getting gastric bypass surgery. 2 year olds! Yeah this kid is enormous but he’s 2, which means he can’t do anything on his own. The kid can barely stand in the pictures. You’re telling me his parents can’t get this kid on some type of diet? Maybe don’t eat 40 meals a day, get some exercise, basically anything but surgery. To be honest I have some selfish motives here. This kid’s left arm is awesome. He is the Michelin Man reincarnated and I love it. Almost defies logic how fat his arm is. Saudi Arabia really knows how to ruin this guys day.

– Ryan

P.S. “Morbidly obese” are the two most accurate words in the English language. When I think of the words morbidly obese I now have the mental image of this two year old in my head.

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