Average Nobodies Podcast
for February 9, 2018.
On today’s show we’re chatting about Super Bowl 52, Quentin Tarantino, we have another Logan Paul update and we wrap up with some trailer reviews. You can chat with us on Twitter, toss us a like on Facebook and heart all our pictures on Instagram. Don’t forget, this podcast is available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio and YouTube.
Average Nobodies Podcast
On this week’s show we’ve got Bills Mafia, Jolly Ranchers versus the internet and Justin Timberlake has us naked by the end of this podcast. You can chat with us on Twitter @AverageNobodies, toss us a like on Facebook @AverageNobodies and heart all our pictures on instagram, @AverageNobodies. Don’t forget, this podcast is available on iTunes, Stitcher Radio and YouTube.
If you thought I was excited for a new Transformers movie, it doesn’t even come close to how excited I am for a new Pirates movie. Kind of shitty that the 4th one didn’t have Orlando Bloom, so i’m glad to see him back in this one.
PS – This Cash song is suddenly super popular for movie trailers.
There are three things the Average Nobodies don’t partake in: drinking low fat milk, wearing the same two socks and using roman numerals. That’s why this is a Super Bowl 51 prediction blog, not a Super Bowl random capital letters blog. Anyway, we’re finally here. The wild card, divisional and championship rounds of the playoffs are complete and we’re down to the last two surviving teams. Will Tom Brady win his record breaking 5th Super Bowl or will Matt Ryan win his 1st? No matter the outcome, this game should be fantastic. Both teams are playing great football, as the Pats just ended Pittsburgh’s 9 game win streak to advance and the Falcons ended Green Bay’s 8 gamer. Here’s how I picture fans of both teams dealing with lead changes throughout the game:
The story of this game in most preview posts is about the Falcons top ranked offense versus the Patriots top ranked defense, but the beauty of both these teams is how balanced they are on both sides of the ball. The Falcons defense has been ferocious in the playoffs, blitzing teams constantly and refusing to let opposing offenses get into a rhythm. While the Seahawks offensive line has been in shambles all season, the Atlanta defense was especially impressive last week versus the Packers. Rodgers and Green Bay dominated opposing defenses over the last half of the season and into the playoffs, but thanks to constant pressure from the Falcons, they were never able to get going and faced a 24-0 deficit at halftime. The Falcons did this against an offensive line that was giving Rodgers all day to either scramble or find open receivers during their 8 game win streak , and they’ll need to be even better against Tom Brady.
While the Pats defense was ranked #1 this year in points allowed, their offense hasn’t been too shabby either, and most of that credit has to go to the ageless Tom Brady. The only way the Falcons are going to win is if they mimic and execute the game plans of the Giants and Broncos from playoff game’s past. In the 2008 Super Bowl, the Giants sacked Brady eight times and pressured him pretty much all game. In the 2012 Super Bowl, the Giants only sacked Brady twice, but they again pressured him all day, even forcing a 1st quarter intentional grounding penalty that lead to the first nine points of the game for New York. The Broncos did more of the same in the 2016 AFC Championship game, sacking Brady four times, picking him off twice and allowing him to complete only 48% of his passes. While the stats paint a picture of those three games, watching them live tell the whole story. Brady was unable to hit his running backs or receivers because of constant pressure, and even if he wasn’t sacked or picked off, he was getting knocked down or rushed.
The key for the Falcons will be blitzing and getting to Brady frequently, but that’s easier said than done. A lot of that has to do with this stat I found in Bill Barnwell’s Super Bowl preview: “when defenses blitzed him this year, Brady went 61-of-99 for 838 yards with 11 touchdowns and zero interceptions, taking just two sacks in the process”. That has to be a depressing stat if you’re a Falcons fan, because it basically tells you there’s no stopping Tom Brady. You can’t sit back and coverage without pressure, because he’ll pick you apart. You also can’t blitz him every down, because he’s been almost perfect against those packages this year. Assuming the Falcons blitz consistently, Brady won’t have a lot of time to find receivers down the field. If that’s the case, the key for Brady is going to be Dion Lewis and James White out of backfield, as well as pounding the ball inside with Blount. LeGarrette will be especially important because of the presence of NFL sack leader Vic Beasley, who will be looking to pressure Tom Brady on passing downs. Another stat to pay attention to from Barnwell’s article: “When opposing teams have three or more wideouts on the field, Beasley has played 74.6 percent of snaps. When they have two wideouts or fewer, Beasley’s playing time dips to just 19.7 percent of snaps”. If the Pats can keep Beasley off the field AND have success with Blount, this game will be over by halftime.
Working in the Falcons favor is their supremely talented offense, but they’ll be going against a Bill Belichick defense that has had two weeks to prepare. That sounds like a cliché, but the guy has already won 6 Super Bowls as a defensive coordinator or head coach, so it’s safe to say he knows a little bit about preparing for an offense. Belichick specializes in taking away the best player or part of an opposing teams offense, and that will start and end with Julio Jones. Julio has had a quiet postseason so far, combining for only 15 catches, 247 yards and three touchdowns. While New England neutralized Antonio Brown last week, with all respect to AB, Jones is a different kind of monster and has a better quarterback. AB is listed at 5’10 180 while Jones is listed at 6’4 220, and Julio is able to be a dual threat at all times. He’s bigger and stronger than most corners, which is invaluable around the goal line, but he’s also a menace after the catch which he showed on last week’s 73 yard touchdown vs. Green Bay. Much like neutralizing Brady, shutting down Jones is easier said than done. Similar to Lewis and White for the Pats, Atlanta has a 1-2 punch of their own in Devonta Freeman and Tevin Coleman. Both are great pass catchers and excel at YAC, so if New England starts to get pressure on Matt Ryan, expect a lot of screens and dump offs.
The only thing left to do is play the game. Pats are favored by 3 points with an over/under sitting at 58. I’m going with Tom Brady to win his fifth ring, and I think it’s time we have a serious discussion about renaming the Lombardi Trophy the Belichick Trophy.
Pick: Patriots 41 Falcons 28
First of all, if you haven’t seen this episode of SNL please go back and watch it in it’s entirety. There was not one bad sketch (outside of the cold open) and SNL took their recipe of giving McCarthy oddball characters to play and shot it to the moon. The ‘horror movie test audience’ and ‘pick up line’ sketches were amazing, and every other sketch was good to great. I can’t wait until McCarthy hosts again so her opening monologue can be a Timerblake-esque five timers celebration. But back to the Beyoncé sketch; this is a great example of SNL taking a ridiculous concept and finding the humor in it. Beyoncé was criticized for her new music video/song Formation as well as her Super Bowl performance, because once someone’s goes against what the majority of people believe they should be doing, people get angry. I really can’t say enough good things about this sketch, and the fact that it was filmed and edited in two days blows my mind. Watch this now, and then go back and watch it again.
The Pro Bowl. What used to be a kind of cool tradition has turned into a popularity contest wrapped into 3 hours of “who gives a shit” television. Never fear! The Average Nobodies have a fix for this bore-fest. Here are our modifications to the Pro Bowl that will either end it abruptly or keep it going for years to come.
5v5 Flag Football
Each NFL team selects 5 players from either the starting lineup or their practice squad and heads to Hawaii for a little flag football tourney. Limiting injuries, while still making it fun is key to the Pro Bowl. “But Matt, the two teams that will be playing in the Super Bowl won’t participate.” That’s an easy fix. The two open slots will be filled by the two teams in the amateur tournament that happens the day before.
No run plays, only hail Mary pass plays, the flags are coated with pam cooking spray and touchdowns don’t count unless you do a 5 minute celebration dance. The refs are their to sign your touchdown points from a 1 to 10 scale depending on how good your celebration is.
You want to get the ratings up for the pro bowl? Make it like an athletic version of the purge. Make the tickets free for fans because if they go there’s a chance they’re gonna get murdered. 2 hours of pure mayhem, with each player getting to bring weapon to the dance. Most of these guys hate each other anyways, right? You’re telling me if Josh Norman brought a trident and Odell Beckham Jr. brought a grenade you wouldn’t tune into the Pro Bowl to see what happens? You may tell yourself you wouldn’t watch, but deep down you’re just as deranged as the rest of us. Also, ‘Guns’ Hochuli as the referee and when I say referee I mean hes just there to confirm the murders.
I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, both two of the greatest quarterbacks of their generation and of all time, will face each other for the 17th time this Sunday with a trip to Super Bowl 50 on the line. As AFC rivals their entire career, the stakes literally could not be higher. Brady is 11-5 in his career vs. Manning, but in their 4 career playoff meetings, each man has come away with two victories. In those four seasons, either Brady or Manning’s team have gone on to win the Super Bowl three times.
Living in New England, Tom Brady, now in his 16th NFL season, has taken on an almost God-like status. Whether you love him or you hate him, you cannot deny how superior the man is at football. Over a 15 year period, the team that represents the AFC in the Super Bowl has almost exclusively gone through Foxboro. Since the 01-02 season, this will be the 10th time (!) that Tom Brady and the Patriots have played in the AFC Championship game. Of the previous nine, they’ve won six, and gone on to win four of those Super Bowls. Brady has a career record of 22-8 in the playoffs, but is only 3-3 on the road, which goes to show how dominant his Patriots teams have been in the regular season. He’s Batman in football form, dispensing his enemies with relative ease all while keeping up the poster boy charm.
Peyton Manning, now in his 18th NFL season, has been the Joker to Brady’s Batman. Manning holds 15 NFL regular season passing records, including the most yards and touchdowns of all time. Manning’s success in the regular season is only rivaled by Brady’s, and where Brady thrives (playoffs) Manning has faltered. Manning is 12-13 in his career in the playoffs, and the only postseason stat in which he equals Brady is in the amount of Super Bowls he has lost (2). Now for a guy to play in 25 playoff games (and counting), win a Super Bowl and have all those regular accolades is an amazing career. But Peyton Manning was put on this Earth to play football at the same time as Thomas Brady, and they will forever be entwined.
While stats are fun for casual conversations with friends, all that matters to Patriots, Broncos, Brady and Manning fans is the outcome of Sunday’s matchup. From now until Sunday you’ll see a million articles about how the game is so much more than Brady and Manning, but when it comes down to it, it really isn’t. It’s all about Brady and Manning. It’s about two guys who love the game of football and are really, really good at it, and for the 17th time they get to duke it out to see who is the better man. I can confidently say we will never see a quarterback rivalry at this level again, and I’m just glad I got to be a fan during their tenures. As for Sunday’s game? Patriots 23 Broncos 16.
Jimmy Kimmel’s ‘This Week In Unnecessary Censorship’ Features The Super Bowl, Bad Weather & Roman Reigns
This is a really underrated sketch from Jimmy Kimmel. Everyone falls in love with Jimmy Fallon’s wonderful sketches and Kimmel’s Celebrity Mean Tweet segments, but the Unnecessary Censorship bit is always funny. The Lombardi trophy getting censored while Patriot players were touching and kissing it was hysterical and hey, even WWE got in there this time! Roman Reigns wanting to have sex with Daniel Bryan and Seth Rollins will forever haunt my dreams.