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Florida Refuses To Give Up “Craziest State” Title

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“When 62-year-old Peggy Hill reportedly laid a wet one on a police officer, she basically kissed her freedom goodbye. The Florida woman was arrested for allegedly kissing a cop on the nose Saturday evening and jailed on charges of felony battery of a law enforcement officer. Authorities were responding to a report of an altercation between Hill and one of her Bradenton neighbors when the smooch reportedly took place. According to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, obtained by The Smoking Gun, Sgt. Randy Lamb was speaking to Hill when she suddenly leaned in and kissed him on the nose. “[S]he approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will. He stepped away from her, wiped off the saliva from his nose, attempted to take her into custody and she started to struggle with him,” an assisting officer wrote in the report. Deputies noted that Hill later allegedly admitted to drinking about three glasses of wine prior to the debacle, the Sun-Sentinel reports. A search of the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office website reveals that Hill is still in custody on $5,000 bond.” – HuffPost

Florida just refuses to quit. First it was the potato chip thief, then the brotherly love incident involving a guy stabbing his brother over mac n’ cheese. Now we have Peggy Hill a.k.a. Mickey Rourke in a wig, arrested for kissing a cop on the nose. Seriously what is happening in Florida. I thought it was where our grandparents went when they retired and gave up on life. Apparently its filled with criminal masterminds who’s only skill is getting arrested under bizarre circumstances. Can’t really blame the cop here. If someone looking like that was kissing me I would arrest her on the spot and then cut my nose off. Face like a halibut.

– Ryan

P.S. Way to ruin Peggy Hill’s good name

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Nothing Like A Casual Craigslist Search

“Looking for someone to paint me as a centaur (west warwick) – I want someone to paint me as a centaur. Bottom half horse top half me. Please be able to actually paint. I will need to see other work you have done. Shoot me and email and give me a price. maybe we can meet in a park one day and i’ll pack a lunch. But seriously, this is legit.”

I knew I should have taken art classes when I was a kid! This is a post, directly from Craigslist, that I received from a inside source.  First, let me first point out, power move by wanting to be painted as a centaur.  No little bitch real animals like a tiger or lion, NO, a creature straight from fucking myth!  Personally I would have gone the griffin route, but I applaud your tenacity.  As epic as this sounds, and it seems like you have all your bases covered, let me just say if you have to explain what a centaur is to your painter, then they are not ready to paint you.  Be a little more selective, pal.  You run a convincing argument all the way up until the last few lines. “maybe we can meet in a park one day and i’ll pack a lunch”. Really? A guy who desires a mural of himself painted as a centaur wants to meet in a park? I was expecting him to either invite me to his yacht or his trailer home, all i’m saying is that it could go either way.  Pack a lunch? Is this turning into a picnic? Because if so, I am even angrier that I cannot paint.  There is nothing like a good picnic, the sites, the sounds, feeding each other fresh fruits…….I digress.  Not even the great Bob Ross (RIP) could get me prepared for this job.  But at least we know that this offer is “Legit”.
ImageDon’t you give up, someday you will find your artist, and they will paint you wearing this, and only this.
-Mattyv
P.S. Just so it’s clear, Bill Paxton discovered the Titanic.
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