Advertisements

Blog Archives

The Nokia Candy Bar is BACK

The company, HMD, recently released something exciting. They have revived the Nokia 3310 in the form of a android-running modern candy bar cell phone. Accorsinf to the presser, The Nokia 3310 will retail at an average global retail price of €49 (about $51.97). Here’s a closer look:

The specs:

  • System: Dual band 900/1800 MHz
  • Software platform: Nokia Series 30+
  • Dimensions: 115.6*51.0*12.8mm
  • Weight: 79.6 g (including battery)
  • Display: 2.4’’ QVGA (240*320)
  • two Micro SIM slots
  • Curved window with polarised layer for better readability in sunlight
  • Connectivity: micro USB, 3.5mm AV connector,
    Bluetooth 3.0 with SLAM
  • Camera: 2Mpxl camera with LED flash
  • MicroSD card support up to 32 GB
  • LED torchlight

These numbers are all well and good, but I only ned one piece of information…where and when can I buy one? For too long now have I dreamed of owning a simple phone for the times when I need, and want, to be off the grid. This little guy, developed by HMD, seems like the perfect mix of on and off the grid. Not to mention it brings me back to Christmas 2003 when I received my first cell phone, a Nokia 3310. Santa also brought a case for my phone that year; it was black and glossy with flames on it. Literal FIRE. Pair that with my frosted tips and you can probably imagine why I was a hit* with the ladies back in the day.

-Matt

*Not a hit at all.

Advertisements

Giant Anaconda – Someone Call Ice Cube

giphy

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE. Fuck that. The last thing I’m doing when I see a titanic-sized Anaconda is pole it with a wooden oar. It’s not like these guys were in a big boat either. If that snake wanted to it could have eaten both of them and awarded them the Darwin Prize. This is another reason i’m not going to South American…EVER.

The Coots Family Are All Determined to Die From Snake Bites

Snakes?The son of a snake-handling Kentucky preacher who died from a snakebite says he’s recovering from his own rattlesnake wound.

Cody Coots tells the Lexington Herald-Leader (http://bit.ly/1nRIXdO ) he was bitten on a finger as he removed snakes from a cage on Monday.

The 21-year Coots says he declined medical treatment from an ambulance crew. Instead, he says he relied on prayer for healing.

Coots says he told the Lord he wouldn’t go to the hospital.

He says his hand swelled and he vomited repeatedly, but by Tuesday the pain was gone.

Coots is a fourth-generation snake handler and had been bitten five times previously.

His father, Jamie Coots, died of a snakebite in February. Following his death, Cody Coots took over as pastor of the Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name church in Middlesboro, Kentucky.

Tom Hanks – Really?

I sincerely don’t understand this. The snake handling part makes sense. People have been handling snakes for million of years. But if I saw my father die from getting bit by a venomous snake and refusing to get medical help, I’d probably get medical help if I got bit by a venomous snake. Maybe that makes me unfaithful. Maybe that makes me a non-believer. But I’d rather be alive with two fully functioning hands and a rocky faith system than dead. Deader than a dead moose. I guess that’s the difference between myself and a snake handler. I’m not insane.

– Ryan

Jake “The Snake” Roberts Surprised the World on Raw Last Night and it Was Awesome

Anyone who’s followed this story from the beginning has to be happy for Jake Roberts. His personal demons almost killed him but with the help of DDP Yoga he transformed his life and looks great. Far and away the best part of Raw, mostly because it was so unexpected. The best moment for me was watching Ambrose, a professed chikdhood Jake Roberts fan, with a big smile on his face when Jake put the snake on him. Let’s hope Jake sticks around, and gets one more moment in the sun at the Rumble.

– Ryan

Snake Massages Are Apparently a Thing People Get

(Source) “After a long, hard day what sounds better than a nice relaxing massage … from three 6-foot-long pythons?

In Indonesia, that’s exactly what one massage parlor is offering for the low price of only $43, according to Yahoo News. The 90-minute treatment involves allowing the three snakes to slither on a person’s body, which is probably the least-relaxing way to relax that I can possibly think of.

The snakes mouths are taped shut during the massage, and there are staff members present to prod them on and make sure they don’t strangle clients and slurp them down for lunch.

The parlor also offers other unusual services: a massage from a guy in a gorilla suit and a bath in a tub of beer, the latter of which must be a popular way to unwind after all the other traumatizing experiences people have at this place.”

Why. Why is this a real thing? Who would pay $43 to have three snakes slither all over you while some sick freak watches. I really don’t understand some people. So you’re gonna pass up a massage from a human who has hands in favor of a wild snake. I can’t imagine too many massuesse’s are also trained snake handlers. You want some tips on who might be the next serial killer? Follow whoever is getting a snake massage around. People who do this are probably into a lot weirder shit than snake massages. Maybe something along the lines of getting a massage by someone wearing a gorilla suit. Or sitting in a bath full of beer. Sick, sick puppies.

– Ryan

P.S. That beer bath does not sound fun. I like beer in my belly, not all over my body mixed with my own filth.

Have Fun Trying To Sleep Tonight

Meet my friend Julius, the 16-foot albino burmese python.  Julius not only could break your legs in a heartbeat, but he can open doors to do so.  This is the stuff of nightmares, no wonder why Indy hates these guys.

-MattyV

 

%d bloggers like this: