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Matching Up Playing Cards with Human Personalities

In every group there are bound to be varying personalities. Here are my playing card equivalents. Try to match up your friends and families to one, or more, of the following!

Playing-Cards-112994

1.) The Full Deck

This deck can be assigned to the most “normal” of the group. Always on time, smooth to the touch, clean cut, ready for anything, and can turn a dull moment into party city. Full decks can often be the most outspoken of the group, and have the mental capacity to back it up.

i.e. George Clooney is a “Full Deck”

2.) House Party Deck

This deck is slightly off. It might be a few cards short of the full deck, but who cares when you’re playing drinking games so much that you can’t see the table anyway! Fun, carefree, broken in, this deck can be the focal point of colleges parties and pre-game warmups.

i.e. James Franco is a “House Party Deck”

3.) The Wildcard Deck

The wildcard is the guy or girl who cannot be trusted with anything. Yea sure, they appear to be playing with a full deck, but then BAM, they deal out the jokers and steal money from your grandma.

i.e. Gary Busey is a “Wildcard Deck”

4.) The Insane Wildcard Deck

Take the “Wildcard Deck” and add in a little, or a lot of crazy. With this deck, not only are you playing with the jokers, but the sick son of a bitch left the instruction card in the shuffle as well. Don’t try to decipher what they are saying, just re-shuffle and move on.

i.e. Amanda Bynes is a “Insane Wildcard Deck”

5.) The Weathered Deck

Like an old couch, this deck is sturdy, sticky, and rough around the edges. Always reliable and fun to be around.

i.e. Betty White is a “Weathered Deck”

6.) Uno!

You want to play hi-low jack, but all you see is colors, shapes, and arrows. This deck can’t read.

i.e. Kim Kardashian is a “Uno Deck”
-MattyV

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The Offline Glass is Almost Perfect

Bravo! You’ve done it! You’ve solved what the elderly believes is the worst part of the new generation, ignoring the world around you while you lose yourself in a smart phone. Ingenious. In fact this has to be Apple that came up with this right? I can hear the conversation…

How do we sell more iPhones? We should make people break them more often, but with liquid so we don’t have to refund it under a warranty, but how…? Ah ha! Lets creates beer glasses that can’t stand on their own! Unless you place said glass on top of the phone! We’ll get a bunch of incoherent drunks spilling beer all over their phone coasters! *high fives all around*

Absolutely flawless plan,

except the human race is infamous for it’s ability to adapt; like this guy who has just realized he has two hands.imagesCAR4JMVH

Cursed bi-lateral, multifunctional, opposable thumbed beings.

-Sean Lite-

P.S. I can be just as bad as any of those people in the video. Ah well.

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