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Happy Valentines Day From the Saddest People on the Internet

 

 

– The Average Nobodies

Sex Ads Are Getting Weird

Here is my latest WordPress notification, which was on a comment on my Shia LaBeouf post the other day:

You have to try 3single dot com. There you talk to amateur grils who look like your neighbor. Have fun :)

So this is what the sex ad business has come to. Really going out on a limb and hoping my neighbor is a hot girl. Well guess what 3single got com, my neighbors are not hot girls. So if I go on your site, who exactly am I talking to? Is it my neighbor across the street, who are the parents are my best friend? Is it the elderly woman who lives next door? I’m no Casanova, but that shit doesn’t do it for me. Also an important detail in the sexy talk game is spelling girls correctly. I don’t want to talk to amateur grils. I don’t want to talk to professional grils. I will admit the smiley face at the end was a nice touch. Other than that, I’ll probably never use 3single dot com. PROBABLY.

– Ryan

Prince Tweeted The Album Cover For His New Single And It’s Awesome

For those unaware, Prince officially joined Twitter a few weeks ago (@3rdeyegirl) and it basically turning the platform on it’s head. The guy legally changed his name to a symbol, so giving him 140 characters of free range is going to be fun to follow. Almost on cue, Prince tweeted out the following concerning his new single Breakfast Can Wait:

 

Dave Chappelle, dressed as Prince, serving pancakes. Straight out of a Charlie Murphy True Hollywood Story. It really doesn’t get much better than that. Now we can all go purify ourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka.

– Ryan

So Lady Gaga Has Been Wearing Clown Makeup All Week

“After Lady Gaga’s new song “Applause” was leaked, Gaga decided to take some action and stroll the streets of Los Angeles in the same makeup featured on the single’s cover art. While not too many people can get away with rainbow face paint (just look at poor Ryan Seacrest) on Lady Gaga, the make-up looks almost… normal. Where is the gigantic egg? Where is the dress made of meat?! Click on to see some of Gaga’s most, well, normal looks.” – Bustle

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That’ll show ’em. Lesson here kids: when you wear clown makeup in public all week, we all lose.

– Ryan

P.S. It’s 2013. All that advertising and social media promoting is a major reason your a millionaire. If a song leaks, suck it up.