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In Honor of Andy Samberg Coming Back to Host the Season Finale of SNL…

I can’t wait for tomorrow night. It should be stupid, weird and most importantly, funny. Wouldn’t mind a digital short or two either.

– Ryan

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If I Took One Look at Robert Short I Could’ve Told You He’d Be a Terrible Bank Robber

Dope“An Oregon police affidavit says a robber at the Home Federal Bank two weeks ago demanded money by giving the teller a note written on the back of a grocery receipt.

It was only part of the receipt, Bend Detective Jeff Frickey said in the affidavit, but it had the last four digits of a food stamp account and the account balance — enough to get investigators going.

State records provided a name to go with the account number, the Bend Bulletin reported, and an online search of the name turned up a pawn shop transaction with a telephone number.

A service provider then came up with the coordinates of the phone, the Stillwater Campground in Central Oregon.

That, the affidavit said, is where 54-year-old Robert Short was arrested on theft and robbery charges.

At an interview afterward, Frickey’s affidavit said, Short denied the charges, saying he never keeps receipts and would have thrown it in the trash, where anyone could have picked it up.

He also said that a hitchhiker must have stolen a black stocking cap that police kept as evidence after it was knocked off when the robber and a bank client struggled during the April 24 holdup, the affidavit said.

Police told Short his DNA was on the cap.

A plea hearing is scheduled May 27.

Short was held without bail at the Deschutes County Jail. It could not be determined immediately Wednesday whether he has a lawyer.”

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This isn’t meant to sound braggy, but I could’ve told you Robert Short would be a terrible bank robber. He looks like someone who would be in a slideshow of dumb criminals. Situations like these always baffle me. Obviously the guy isn’t doing so good. He looks like shit, he’s on food stamps; not his finest hour. But would it kill him to find a blank peice of paper, or any peice of paper that doesn’t have his personal account information on it? Bank robbing 101: don’t leave any trace evidence behind, especially something like a grocery receipt with a food stamp account number on it that the police can trace back to you in 4 seconds. It looked like Short put up a good fight though. He strikes me as someone who wouldn’t keep his receipts, and although the hitchhiker story seems kind of farfetched, it could work. Then the police just drop the hammer on him. DNA was on the cap. I imagine this is when he just wished he was dead. Game over Robert. Next time don’t use your personal grocery receipt as a robbery note.

– Ryan

Take a Look at this Weirdly Mesmerizing Short Film “Burger”

Not sure how to explain it, but I feel like iv’e been to that diner before, not literally of course. I can almost feel this environment, one created after long nights of drinking at the bar. Iv’e seen all these characters before (without the accents of course). I came across this on StumbleUpon and it’s worth a watch.

-Matt

Shia LaBeouf’s New Years Resolution Was Apparently To Be Insane

Source – As if his numerous apologies weren’t enough, Shia LaBeouf has now written his message in the sky.

The 27-year-old actor hired a skywriting company to spell out in block letters ‘I AM SORRY DANIEL CLOWES’ in the skies above Los Angeles.

It follows a month of increasingly wordy apologies, following the Transformer’s star’s admitted plagiarism of the cartoonist’s graphic novel.

So profuse have the apologies become, that they could be considered to be making fun of his critics. Further complicating matters, some of Shia’s apologies seem to be plagiarized also.

‘You have my apologies for offending you for thinking I was being serious instead of accurately realizing I was mocking you,’ he tweeted on Tuesday, sounding more trite than contrite.

The tweet was similar to a May article in RedState.com in which a pro-life advocate mocked pro-choice supporters in nearly the same words.

He also apologized to the cartoonist using the same language employed by porn star Mr. Marcus after he was busted in 2012 for knowingly exposing co-stars to syphilis and also has cribbed apologies from Eliot Spitzer, Russell Crowe and Yahoo Answers, according to Entertainment Weekly.

The apologetic messages came after the actor earlier this month released his 12-minute short film HowardCantour.com starring Jim Gaffigan, but quickly pulled it after allegations of plagiarism arose.

Contrite or trite? Shia LaBeouf apologized again on Wednesday to graphic artist Daniel Clowes for stealing from his work without attribution

What the hell is wrong with Shia LaBeouf? In this day and age, is plagiarizing the dumbest thing someone can do? If you plagarize there is a 1000% chance you’ll get caught. Anyone in the world can type in your script and see if it was used before. Which is probably exactly what happened. To make matters worse, he’s plagiarizing apologies and writing sky notes. Basically telling everyone to s his d and he doesn’t give a shit what everyone thinks. Perfect way to start the new year and change everyone’s already horrible opinion of you. Although I’m absolutely stealing the sky writing move for the next time I do something dumb. Semi power move.

– Ryan

Jennifer Lawrence Cut Her Hair and Surprise! She’s Still on Fire

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There’s a recurring theme in the three pictures above: Jennifer Lawrence’s insane hotness. Short hair, long hair, straight hair, blonde hair, brown hair; unless she gets a face transplant she’s still going to be one of the hottest woman on the planet. Since we’re close to the same age and we’re pretty even in the popularity category, I’ve assumed the responsibility of protecting her from the wrath of media. Still waiting on a dinner date as a thank you.

– Ryan

Tyler The Creator: 5 Things You Didn’t Know

– via BuzzFeed

One thing we knew before this, is that Tyler is definitely insane, but he’s sure as hell fun to watch. The guy never stops working, and now he’s teaming up with Fox to create the animated short 5 Things You Don’t Know About Me. Creativity never sleeps, and I’m glad to see someone with his talent spreading his wings.

– Ryan

Must Watch – Portrait of a Boxer

This is one of my favorite short documentaries. Shot and edited by Philip Bloom, Portrait of a Boxer captures the the life’s work of an Eastern European fighter. The lighting and sound mixing are absolutely brilliant. Look for other Philip Bloom shorts on his Vimeo page.

-MattyV

Cyanide & Happiness Knows How to Tickle my Funny Bone

 

Here is one of their new shorts! Enjoy

 

-MattyV

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