A few things you may not know about me: I once needed 8 staples to close a head wound I suffered during a competitive drinking game, I don’t like cheese and I unconditionally love the Sharknado movies. I can’t get enough of them. I understand people who won’t waste their time watching them, but to me they’re ridiculously fun. The newest installment – Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (fantastic name) premieres next Sunday August 6th, and we now have an official trailer for it. My favorite part of watching the trailers for these movies is spotting all the cameos. Sharknado 5 features Dolph Lundgren, Olivia Newton John, Gilbert Gottfried, Chris Kattan, Tony Hawk, Fabio, Clay Aiken, Bret Michaels & Greg Louganis. That is INSANE. The sharks have also gone global in this one, so it’s not only America who has to battle the flying sharks. August 6th can’t come soon enough.
NYD – Sharknado” and its upcoming Big Apple sequel may be a couple of unexpected Syfy hits, but if you ask star Tara Reid, a shark attack on New York is not as far-fetched as it might seem.
“You know, it actually can happen,” Reid, 38, told GQ magazine. “I mean, the chances of it happening are very rare, but it can happen actually.”
Reid admitted that it “would be crazy” for something like that to transpire.
“The chances of it are, like, you know, it’s like probably ‘pigs could fly,'” she told GQ. “Like, I don’t think pigs could fly, but actually sharks could be stuck in tornados. There could be a sharknado.”
Well at least Tara Reid doesn’t think pigs could fly. I guess she’s got that going for her. I don’t want to take the low road and just make stereotypical blonde jokes, so let’s just say she’s an idiot and she also just so happens to have blonde hair. Oh you think it would be crazy if a sharknado happened, Tara? You think it would be crazy if not only did a tornado strike land, but inside that tornado were actual living, breathing sharks? Well I’ll give this one. It would definitely be crazy, on a lot of levels. Thousands of years of scientific research on sharks would be wrong, for one thing. I’ve always been under the impression they can survive in water, but apparently Tara Reid has some other information that allows them to survive in extreme winds. She did survive the first movie, so she must be doing something right. Although if this does ever actually happen, there’s only man I want by my side. A man with a history of dealing with tornados. A man who understands…twisters.
Every so often something comes along that is beyond words. Sharknado 2 is that thing. You’d think sharks wrapped up in a tornado would be the craziest thing in a movie but NOPE. How about Andy Dick as a cop, or Mark fucking McGrath as the first guy you call on when you have a sharknado? I can’t wait for July 30th.
Sharknado had everything a great movie consists of: sharks, tornados, the dad from Home Alone and Tara Reid. When you’re building a movie, those are the four ingredients you need to ensure success, and Sharknado pulled it off. So much so that a sequel was made, and judging by the teaser trailer, it’s going to be amazing. They’ve added chainsaws, Mark McGrath and Kurt fucking Angle. Casablanca, prepare to be dethroned.
Casablanca. Citizen Kane. The Godfather. SHARKNADO. It’s that simple. When you see a trailer of this caliber come out, you just clap your hands and applaud. Bravo Hollywood.
P.S. Any time you can get Tara Reid and the father from Home Alone in a movie about a shark tornado, you HAVE to do it.