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We’re Doomed: Taking A Selfie Has Claimed More Lives Than Shark Attacks This Year

OH – The Great White shark used to be one of the most effective killing machines on the planet — or so we thought. Nowadays, the act of taking a selfie is proving far deadlier.

Just a year after the word was added to the dictionary, the selfie is claiming more lives than shark attacks, according to a report by Condé Nast Traveler.

There have been dozens of deaths related to tourists taking selfies, according to Condé Nast research, compared with just eight confirmed shark-related deaths this year through August. And that’s just the widely reported cases involving tourism — there are likely far more non-tourist-specific cases, such as people taking selfies and Snapchat videos while behind the wheel of a car.

shaking head

You know what’s not a good sign for the future of the human race? Finding out that more people dies taking selfies than getting eaten by sharks. I still think getting eaten by a shark is dumb. Sharks live in the water, humans don’t. You’re going to lose that battle every time. With that said, getting eaten by a shark makes a lot more sense than dying while taking a selfie. What happened to just taking a picture of something? I know it’s cooler if you’re in the picture, but what’s cooler: dying or not dying? I’m going to go with not dying. How about we start taking pictures of things and stop stuffing our fat faces into pictures and risking death. Either that or we need to start throwing people who can’t swim into shark infested water so we can flip flop this statistic and it starts making sense.

-Ryan

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Veronica-Pooh Nash Is Not The Summer Safety Instructor We Deserve, But She Is The One We Need

I don’t think I’ve agreed with a person more. On the surface, you wouldn’t think Veronica-Pooh Nash and I had a ton of things in common, but our opinions on avoiding shark attacks are pretty much identical. The ocean is the shark’s house. All they do is swim…in the ocean. I’m not saying people who are killed or attacked by sharks deserve it, but you’re taking a big risk whenever you go in the ocean. It’s not like you’re sitting home watching TV and a shark breaks down your front door and starts gnawing on your leg. We as a society would actually have a lot of problems if that started happening, but I digress. Sharks don’t want to attack humans. Scientists found that out a long time ago. But we’re basically invading their living space, and when you pit a shark against a human the human loses that battle every time. Never going in the ocean again is kind of a drastic take on this, but the sure way to avoid being shark bait is to never go in the ocean again.

– Ryan

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