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The ‘Beast Mode’ Sausage Sandwich is Almost as Stupid as Pete Carroll’s Stupid Face

Seahawks suck – It’s time to grub up for the Super Bowl, and with the Seattle Seahawks facing  off against the Denver Broncos, there is a unique cuisine to sample from these  Western cities.

You could start your day on a Seattle kick, with a warm coffee from your  local Starbucks. Then, for lunch, transition across the Rocky Mountains to  Denver and get your lunch fix at a Quiznos or a Chipotle. As you settle down  before the start of the game, put some craft beers into the ice chest so they  can chill in time for kickoff.

But if you’re looking for a meal that screams “Go Seahawks,” look no farther  than the Beast Mode Sausage.

Named after the Seahawks bruising running back, Marshawn Lynch, who has been  given the Beast Mode moniker for his style of running, this sausage mirrors  Lynch’s football personality. A butcher in Puyallup, Wash. has combined sweet  and spicy meat with Skittles, the candy of choice for Lynch.

That’s right – sausage with Skittles on the inside.

So while the 12th man may have to travel across the country to cheer their  team on live in Metlife Stadium, at least they will have something to snack on  as they prepare for the championship game.

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The Seahawks couldn’t just beat my 49ers and be done with it. Now they have to make a travesty out of my favorite sandwich. What’s next? Are they going to cancel my favorite TV shows? Beat up my grandma? There are only three things that should go on a sausage sandwich: peppers, onions and mustard. Not skittles. Never skittles. You’re insulting sausage lovers everywhere, which I now realize sounds a little weird. But the seahawks are basically rebelling against America. And if anyone is looking to point a finger of blame, point it at this world class asshole..

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I hate you Pete Carroll. I hope your burn with Satan in the depths of hell.

– Ryan

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Ryan Does Fenway

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Polo on Saturday. Fenway last night. The life of kings. Boston is hands down my favorite city in the world. While I can’t call myself a Celtics, Bruins or Pats fan, I am a dirt dog, die hard Red Sox fan. I still count being at Fenway for Trot Nixon’s walk off home run in the 2003 ALDS as one of the best moments of my life. Being a Sox fan definitely hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. While I got to experience two world series wins so far in my lifetime, the previous 10 years (and the 76 before that) were pretty much the worst stretch a professional fan base has gone through (I know the Cubs still haven’t won a world series, but they just suck. The Red Sox had really good teams that drove knives through your hearts in October). Now that the 2013 Red Sox seem to be back to their winning ways, me and slippery Mike decided to make a trip to Fenway. If you’ve never been, you owe it to yourself to visit “The Cathedral of Boston”. On a Red Sox game day, the energy around the ballpark is unmatched. Stop by Copperfield’s, Boston Beer Works, Cask N’ Flagon or any number of bars for a pregame beer or six. Your next stop should be to scan your ticket and embrace Yawkey Way with the best sausage and pepper sandwich you’ll ever eat. With a satisfied stomach and an unlimited amount of beer at your disposal, the only thing left to do is take in the sights and sounds of the ballpark and watch the Red Sox kick some ass. Trust me on this one: if you go to Fenway, you’ll be itching to go back again and again. If, like last night, the Red Sox happen to lose, make sure you get a good consolation prize:

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– Ryan

P.S. I’m just glad this trip went better than the last time I traveled to Fenway..

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