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Alaska Wants to Secede Back to Russia – Bon Voyage You Ungrateful Frozen Igloo

SourceA petition on the White House website is calling for the state of Alaska to secede back to Russia.

It came only a week after Russian ambassador Vladmir Chizhov joked on TV about taking over the 49th state following speculation over Putin’s next move in Europe.

More than 30,000 people have signed the petition, Alaska back to Russia, which advocates a vote for secession of Alaska from the United States and joining Russia. 

It is not known whether the signatories are Alaskans wanting to secede or the rest of the US wanting to get rid of its state and its former governor Sarah Palin.

The petition needs to reach 100,000 signatures in 30 days before the White House has to act on it.

However, a Supreme Court ruling after the American Civil War makes unilateral secession unconstitutional.

Alaska was mentioned last week by Russian ambassador Chizhov on the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show

When Marr told the ambassador that US senator John McCain had warned Moldova could be next on Russia’s list, Chizhov replied: “Should I tell Senator McCain to watch over Alaska?”

Marr said: “Well they’ve got Alaska already, it’s slightly different.”

“It used to be Russian,” Chizhov jeered.

“Oh, ha, it’s a very worrying thought,” Marr said. “You’re not moving into Alaska, I hope.”

To which Chizhov replied: “(Laughs) I’m joking, of course. Nobody has anything to fear from Russia.”

Palin had warned about Putin’s expansion ambitions for Ukraine in 2008.

She said: “After the Russian army invaded the nation of Georgia, Senator Obama’s reaction was one of moral indecision and equivalence, the kind of response that would only encourage Putin to invade Ukraine next.”

The state of Alaska was bought from Russia in 1867 for £7.2m and officially became part of the Union in 1959.

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First off who wrote this article, The Doctah? Somebody tell Yahoo it’s ok to write in paragraphs. Secondly, if Alaska wants to succeed then I say we let them. I’m not trying to call Alaskans racist but they’re basically racist. We FINALLY get a black President and now all of a sudden you want to go back to Russia? Alaska is basically its own country anyway so I’m assuming they just heard the news that Obama is black. Can’t slip that past ole Ryan. All of a sudden we’re digging up documents from 1867 about how we purchased Alaska from Russia with a currency I can’t understand. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Let us keep the Keystone pipeline and you can have all the igloos and Sarah Palin you want. Pretty sure those are the only two things stupid enough to live in Alaska anyway.

– Ryan

P.S. If for some reason we have any fans in Alaska I want you to know this article isn’t about you.

Nobody Touches Sarah Hyland and Gets Away With It

SourceSarah Hyland fled a Modern Family party in tears on Thursday night after she was allegedly indecently assaulted by a fan.

The 23-year-old actress had been posing with fans outside the Modern Family party hosted by Qantas at The Sebel Pier One in Sydney, Australia, when the incident occurred.

Sarah was left in floods of tears when a male fan who asked her for a photograph grabbed her breast, according to reports.

You stupid son of a bitch. I don’t know your name but welcome to Hell, because that’s what your life is now going to be. Pure Hell. On a serious note, really? So now actresses can’t even pose with fans? This guy probably hasn’t touched a breast since the Clinton administration but that’s no excuse to violate poor Sarah Hyland. If you’re really in need for some lovin’ buy a laptop and subscribe to one of those sex webcam sites. Don’t go out in public and ruin everyone’s night. May God help you when Phil Dunphy finds out. Then it’s lights out for Chester for the Molester.

– Ryan

Tom Hanks is a Sweetheart

Sarah Moretti has autism. Sarah Moretti is a Tom Hanks super fan. Of course Tom Hanks goes out of his way to meet her and sign her stuff. That’s what sweetheart’s do. There’s Tom Hanks and then there’s everybody else.

– Ryan

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