Captain Morgan Learned the Hard Way That Americans Will Literally Eat or Drink Taco Flavored Anything
— Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 1, 2014
— Captain Morgan (@CaptainMorganUS) April 2, 2014
I love the effort here on Captain Morgan’s part, but when you bring tacos into the mix you’re just over matched. We will literally eat or drink anything with the word taco in it. It doesn’t even have to taste like tacos. You just have to put the word in there and people will go for it. I really wouldn’t be surprised if people start an uproar because this DOESN’T exist. In the 24 hours it took to come out as a joke I bet millions of people planned Captain Morgan taco party’s this weekend. Part of me wants to say its cool but a much larger part of me thinks its disturbing. But then that small part of me eats a taco and everything makes sense again. Better luck next year, Captain.
This is literally the hardest choice I have to make on a daily basis. I’d love to just kick back and have a few beers every night, but I also don’t want to weigh 400 pounds. As far as working out goes, I’ll start and end with this: I have a free on site gym at work that’s been open for two months and I’ve gone there three times. Back to the greatest web site ever created. Get drunk not fat ranks every beer and liquor you can think of based on the amount of included alcohol versus calorie content.
||ABV Alcohol % by Volume||Calories Per Serving||C.F.A. Calories From Alcohol Higher is better||Carbs Per Serving||Comments
|Pure Ethanol Not a real drink, for comparison only||100%||238 calories per 1.5 oz||Score: A+ 100.00%||0.00||7.1 Calories per gram (http://annals.org/article.aspx?articleid=691502) Density = 0.789 g/cm3 Grams in one fluid oz = 28.3495 7.1 x 0.789 x 28.3495 = 158.81 cals per fl oz|
|Everclear||95%||226 calories per 1.5 oz||Score: A+ 99.97%||0.00||Calorie info obtained directly from Luxco Spirits. 750ML for $12.99|
|Jose Cuervo Especial (Gold)||40%||96 calories per 1.5 oz||Score: A+ 99.26%||0.00||Calorie info directly from a Jose Cuervo Consumer Representative $22.99 for 1.75L|
|Jose Cuervo Especial (Silver)||40%||96 calories per 1.5 oz||Score: A+ 99.26%||0.00||Calorie info directly from a Jose Cuervo Consumer Representative $22.99 for 1.75L|
|Crown Royal – Special Reserve||40%||96 calories per 1.5 oz||Score: A+ 99.26%||0.00||Obtained directly from http://www.knowyourdiageodrink.com $22.49 for 750ml|
|Gordons – Dry Gin||40%||96 calories per 1.5 oz||Score: A+ 99.26%||0.00||Info directly from knowyourdiegodrink.com $14.99 per 1.75L at BevMo|
Now my summer of Long Island Iced Tea’s seems like a bad idea. This is the ultimate borderline alcoholic lazy man’s dream website. Whoever made this, know you now have a new best friend.
To get the full tour, visit http://getdrunknotfat.com/