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Oh Happy Day: Rob Ford is Back in the Saddle

BobbyRob Ford returned to city hall on Monday after a two-month stint in rehab, offering a public apology for his past behaviour and asking for another opportunity as mayor of Toronto.

In a news conference Monday afternoon, Ford said he is “ashamed and humiliated” by some of the choices he made in the past.

“I was wrong, and I have no one to blame but myself,” he said in a 15-minute-long statement.

“It was never my intention to embarrass the city or offend my fellow members of council. I deeply regret some of the personal choices I have made in the past.”

Ford also apologized to mayoral candidate Karen Stintz for the “hurtful and degrading remarks” he made about her. “I offer a deep-felt apology for my behaviour,” he said.

Ford took a sudden leave of absence from office in late April to seek professional help for substance abuse at GreeneStone, a rehab facility in Bala, Ont. It came following a new string of racist, sexist and homophobic comments that were recorded and made public in media reports.

Sinner

Let’s hope this is the new, crack free chapter in the life of Rob Ford. Rehab usually goes two ways: the person realizes they need to change their lifestyle and really commit to sobriety or they fake their way through rehab and relapse. Rob Ford seems like he’s taking the first path, which is good news for everybody. Did he make some mistakes? Sure. Did he smoke crack and say some terrible things about other city council members? He is guilty of that as well. But I believe it was Bill Paxton who said “fall down seven times, stand up eight.” I’m interested in seeing how tall Rob Ford can stand, not how far he’s willing to fall.

-Ryan

 

 

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Rob Gronkowski’s Off Season Rehab Seems to Be Going Well

I love Gronkowski. He’s the only tolerable member of the Patriots that non Patriot’s fans can root for. But if I were a Pats fan, I’d be a little upset with him. Athletes can do whatever they want in the off season. Is it ideal that they train and stay in shape and try to get smarter and stronger? Sure. But if a professional athlete wants to blow off some steam and go to Vegas for a few weeks and get drunk and party with porn stars who are we to tell him no? As long as they’re ready to perform when the season starts, I’m OK with it. The only problem with Gronkowski is that he’s the largest human ever who is apparently made entirely of glass. He had back surgery in college, and has dealt with serious ankle, forearm and now knee issues. Maybe dominating comedy shows and bench pressing comedians is the magical formula. My bet is on Belichick letting him go after the 2014 season.

– Ryan

Mark My Words: Rob Ford Will Be Back Better Than Ever

Tommy Boy – Embattled Toronto Mayor Rob Ford said he is taking a break from his re-election campaign to seek help for alcohol abuse — hours after a local newspaper reported on a new video that allegedly shows him smoking crack cocaine.

“It’s not easy to be vulnerable and this is one of the most difficult times in my life,” Ford said in a statement Wednesday. “I have a problem with alcohol, and the choices I have made while under the influence. I have struggled with this for some time.”

The statement, provided to CNN by Canada’s CTV News, comes after the Toronto Globe and Mail reported on the new video.

In the video purportedly filmed Saturday, the newspaper reports Ford is seen smoking what a drug dealer described to the paper as crack cocaine from a copper-colored pipe. Two Globe and Mail reporters viewed the video, and the publication said it was shot in what appears to be Ford’s sister’s basement.

The paper said the substance in the pipe could not be confirmed.

The video is part “of a package of three videos the dealer said was surreptitiously filmed around 1:15 a.m., and which he says he is now selling for ‘at least six figures,'” the paper reported.

Shortly after the newspaper confronted the Mayor about the video, Ford announced he was taking a break to get help.

“Today, after taking some time to think about my own well-being, how to best serve the people of Toronto and what is in the best interests of my family, I have decided to take a leave from campaigning and from my duties as mayor to seek immediate help,” he said.

His lawyer, Dennis Morris, told CNN that Ford’s leave begins immediately.

“He has to take a break to re-energize, because he realizes he has flaws that have to be addressed,” Morris told CTV.

But Morris told the Globe that he questioned the authenticity of the video, and said it is hard to prove what the Mayor is smoking.

“If these guys are drug dealers and there’s money involved, they can say whatever they want to get more money, to extract more money from the people who are paying,” he said of the seller.

Kind of a bittersweet day for Rob Ford. You don’t want to see this guy disappear into Bolivian but it’s great to see that he realized he needs help. I personally would have stepped down after the first crack video but hey, everybody’s got their own style. Now to the real stuff. It’s REALLY easy to kick a guy when he’s down, especially when it comes to addiction. I’m not going to pretend that I know Canadian politics, because I don’t. I don’t know if he’s a good mayor and frankly I don’t care, just as I’m sure people in Toronto don’t give a shit if the mayor of North Providence is good or not (hint: he’s not). But fate brought Rob Ford into my life and I’ve never been one to question fate. Beyond all the jokes, he seems like a genuinely nice guy. He’s jovial, he’s a sports fan, he doesn’t take himself seriously. Does he have an addiction problem? Yes. Anytime your resorting to crack you have a whopper of a problem. But he’s been on this blog from the beginning, and the Average Nobodies do not leave soldiers behind, crack smokers or not. Hell, he’s even front and center on the website banner. We hope Rob Ford gets the help he needs, then comes back better than ever, less sweaty and crack free. For now, I’m going to listen to that Fuel song on repeat and smile at these pictures.

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– Ryan

thanks to @LunaElektraSMC for the tip.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day From Our Favorite Person in the World – Rob Ford

When I woke up this morning I knew there was going to be a video of Rob Ford. I would’ve bet my entire life on it. Drinking holiday’s are Rob Ford’s specialty. And here it is. Want to know the genius of Rob Ford? One of the first videos leaked of him, which really put him on the crazy train map, was of him smoking crack. Now every other video, whether he’s steamrolling old ladies or sweating up a storm after a night of drinking, seem tame. I watched this video and thought nothing of it. Just a guy on the town getting his drink on for St. Paddy’s Day. I honestly would have been upset if I knew Rob Ford didn’t celebrate this holy day like only Rob Ford can: a lot of alcohol, maybe a little crack, and literally tons of fun. Keep doing you, Bobby.

– Ryan

My Jealously of Aaron Paul Grows Daily

THEN THIS HAPPENED (no word on whether the kiss took place or not):

Kings of Leon, bitch! It’s not cool enough that Aaron Paul went to a Kings of Leon concert in NYC last night. No, he had to make friends with Bill Murray and Rob Thomas. If we ever start cloning people, please start with Bill Murray. We could use more of him around. Also, Rob Thomas is the greatest third wheel of all time.

– Ryan

H/T Buzzfeed

*UPDATE* Rob Ford Says He Had Been Drinking During Fast Food Restaurant Video – Ya Don’t Say!

Source – Toronto’s illustrious mayor was captured on camera putting on a bizarre patois monologue for customers at the eatery in the Canadian city on Monday night, during which he ranted away about police surveillance and flailed his arms seemingly at random.

Since then, the video, called ‘New Video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Drunk, Swearing in Jamaican Patois? Bumbaclot’ has gone viral.

Confronted about the footage outside his Toronto office, he told reporters he had imbibed “a little bit” of alcohol on Monday night.

“I was with some friends and what I do in my personal life with my personal friends, that’s up to me,” Rob Ford said.

“It really has nothing to do with you guys.”

On whether he felt the language he used was offensive or discriminatory, he said: “It’s how I speak with some of my friends.”

So Matt did a post earlier on the charismatic Rob Ford and his Jamaican speech in a fast food restaurant. Turns out Rob had been drinking before this. No! I refuse to believe it! You’re telling me the same guy who smoked crack actually drank before he gave a speech to Jamaican’s in a Jamaican accent? Mind blowing. I gotta say, the more I watch this guy, the more I fall in love with him. Oh and by the way his approval rating is 42%, higher than President Obama and Prime Minister David Cameron. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

– Ryan

Rob Ford Knows What Women Want For Christmas

Source – Toronto Mayor Rob Ford responded to a U.S. sports radio show’s question about what he was getting his wife for Christmas by saying: “Just money, women love money.”

Ford made the comment Thursday during his regular phone-in chat on Sports Junkies, on 106.7 The Fan, based in Washington, D.C.

Ford is on the show to talk sports and make NFL picks, but when one of the hosts asked Ford about his holiday gift-giving plans for his wife Renata, he replied: 

“Just money. Women love money. Give them a couple of thousand bucks and they’re happy. Get some treats on the side obviously for her,” he said. “At the end of the day, she wants her cash. So I give her a nice cheque and we’re all happy.”

When asked what he hoped to get from his wife, Ford said: “She always surprises me. I have a fantastic wife.”

The comments come a day after Ford apologized for the second time to Toronto Star reporter Daniel Dale, who had threatened to sue the mayor for comments made on a television interview earlier this month for former media baron Conrad Black.

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This is the tamest Rob Ford has been in months, but when you have a chance to write about him, you have to do it. He’s just too big of a star right now. The funniest part of this whole scenario is that Rob Ford is probably the last person on Earth I would ask for advice on holiday gifts for my wife. I can’t imagine too many people listening to that interview or reading that article are taking Rob Ford’s advice. He doesn’t exactly have the best street cred right now. With that said, if someone writes me a big, fat check for Christmas, I’m not turning it away. I’m just happy he didn’t say he was getting his wife crack.

– Ryan

P.S. Now I have to turn into this radio show every time he’s on. He’s the definition of must listen radio.

Ron Burgundy Sang Mayor Rob Ford’s Re-election Campaign Song on Conan Last Night.. And it Was Awesome

Give Ron Burgundy a double segment on late night TV and he’ll turn it into gold. The best part of his appearance on Conan was the Rob Ford re election campaign song bit. “Working for the Weekend” is actually a great choice for his new campaign. I can’t think of what’s weirder: Ron Burgundy singing a mayor’s campaign song or Rob Ford actually running a re election campaign. I guess if there’s one person who can restore Rob Ford’s good name, it’s Ron Burgundy and his sweet jazz flute.

– Ryan

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