Advertisements

Blog Archives

Gronk Is Helping Mojo Rawley Get Ready For #WrestleMania With Chops and Shouts of Encouragement

 

Rob Gronkowski is a professional football player. Mojo Rawley is a professional wrestler. While they’re both insane and freakishly talented, they also happen to be best buds. The NFL season is over, but the biggest part of Mojo’s year is just beginning as he gets ready to head to WrestleMania as part of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. What’s the best way to get ready for that match, you ask? My vote is the Gronkowski method, which involves constant slaps to the chest and angry shouts of encouragement. The best part is that this is definitely not an act. I can picture Mojo and Gronk working out like this just as easily as I can picture them grocery shopping the exact same way. ‘Get those bananas, Mojo! You gotta stay hype with the potassium!”

-Ryan

Advertisements

The Patriots Don’t Have To Worry About Gronk Suffering A Concussion Because He Apparently Doesn’t Have A Brain

GronkDuring the interview with Jim Rome on Jim Rome on Showtime in which Rob Gronkowski said he’d want a wife who cooked and cleaned, he also spiked a piñata, talked about his party bus … and said he’d rather get a concussion than blow out his knee. His logic was a little less than sound.

Transcription from CBS:

“Uh, so if we’re sitting here and I had choose would I want a concussion right now or my knee blown out, I’m going to say a concussion. Why would I want to sit there for eight months and not do anything, when with a concussion I’ll just wake up and I’ll be ready to go again.

Gronk isn’t worried about not remembering things later in life because “that happens all the time. I don’t even know how I got to my hotel last night.”

No one would ever accuse Gronkowski of being a philosopher, but it seems crazy to me that he would equate browning out from having too many drinks to CTE, the condition that has afflicted many former football players.

stupid animated GIF

Rob Gronkowski hit the lottery when he was born. I’m not even talking about being built like a house either. If he wasn’t a professional football player, I can’t imagine he’d be alive right now. He’s so stupid it almost defies logic. You also have to blame Jim Rome a little bit here too. What did you think the world scholar Gronk was going to say to that question. He’s already blown out his knee, and he apparently doesn’t have a brain, or know how concussions work, so he’ll obviously take a concussion. The Pats already won one Super Bowl with him, so I guess they’re happy, but I can’t imagine he lasts more than a few years in the league. For every workout he does he seems to do double the damage to his body with his current lifestyle, but I guess the one he’s got going for him is that he can’t get a concussion. You’d need an actual brain for that. Maybe stop giving him a live microphone and asking him to talk about the very real issue of CTE? Give him a shiny object to hold onto and spike into the ground and call it a day.

– Ryan

Marshawn Lynch & Gronk Playing Video Games With Conan Makes Me Want All Three Of Them To Be Best Friends

This is incredible on so many levels. Conan is the best late night host, whether it’s monologue or just hanging with athletes or celebrities.

  • Gronk and Marshawn Lynch need to immediately become best friends and real life and have some kind of reality show where they play video games all day. Invite Conan over on the weekends to drink beer and watch TV and eat life size bags of skittles.
  • Watching Gronk in this video made me realize I’ve never seen him in front of a camera where he knows what’s going on. He has a constant ‘deer in the headlights’ look that accompanies him everywhere except on the football field.
  • Conan’s touchdown celebration is all time.
  • Gronk and Marshawn not knowing what Lipitor is, and Gronk thinking it’s Viagra is the most believable thing in the world.
  • 11 minute is way too short of a segment with these three. I demand a part two!

– Ryan

Gronk & The Patriots Demolished The Colts Last Night & The Rest Of The NFL Should Be Very, Very Afraid

123hig:</p><br /><br />
<p>Rob Gronkowski isn’t human. RIP Sergio Brown<br /><br /><br />

– via Pats Propaganda

The New England Patriots have outscored two of the best teams in the AFC, the Denver Broncos and the Indianapolis Colts, by a combined score of 85-41 over the last two games. And it hasn’t even been that close. The scariest part of this incredible turnaround happened last night, when the Pats manhandled the Colts in Indy with a running back who had never scored an NFL touchdown going into the game. I still think the Broncos are the only real threat to the Pats, but seeing a good Colts team get absolutely demolished at home should be a wakeup call for the rest of the NFL: the Patriots are here, and they’re going to beat the shit out of you and there’s nothing you can do about it. After playing almost a perfect game against Denver, Brady threw two bad interceptions, but when your running back runs for 199 yards and four touchdowns, interceptions tend to be less important. With the game pretty much in hand, Gronk took over, first with his block into the stands on Sergio Brown and then his 26 yard touchdown catch where it looked like no living human was capable of stopping him from getting into the end zone. Let me preface this by saying I loathe the Patriots and most of their fans, and living in the Northeast during their reign of terror has been unbearable at times, but sometimes you have to give the devil their due: the Patriots are a great football team. Chances are Jonas Gray isn’t going to run for 200 yards and four scores every game, but he doesn’t have to when you have Brady and Gronk ready to murder people. The Pats defense is only going to get healthier, and although they have an incredibly tough stretch of matchups coming up, no one in the AFC is on their level right now. If your favorite team is in the AFC and they’re not the Patriots, I think it’s time to mentally prepare yourself for disappointment come January.

– Ryan

%d bloggers like this: