Blog Archives

Buddy Cianci is Running For Mayor of Providence Again and He Already Has My Vote

Vote 4 Buddy Buddy Cianci, the twice-convicted felon who led Providence as mayor for 21 years, wants his old job back.

Cianci said Wednesday that he is running as an independent for a seventh term as mayor. The last time he won an election was 16 years ago — before he was convicted in 2002 of racketeering conspiracy for widespread corruption in his administration. He spent 4 ½ years in prison.

Cianci, 73, said he is not seeking redemption, but wishes to bring his experience and vision to the city to make a difference. He said Providence can’t afford to have a mayor who is getting ‘‘on-the-job training.’’

Making an announcement on his radio show, Cianci said that many people would call this an eleventh-hour decision, but that he decided to join the field after much soul-searching and reflection. He said he wants to rekindle the city’s ‘‘renaissance.’’

‘‘If the people don’t want me, they don’t have to vote for me. I realize I have baggage,’’ he said during a break in his show. ‘‘They know who I am. They know what I am. And they know what I’ve accomplished.’’

Cianci’s announcement came shortly before the 4 p.m. filing deadline; a surrogate filed his paperwork for him at City Hall. He will take a leave from the show and from his duties as a local television commentator during the campaign.

Cianci previously won office as a Republican and independent.


Nice little feel good story to get your Thursday off to a roaring start. And if you think Cianci is losing this election you’re high. The guy is absolutely loved in Providence. And it might just take a 73 year old ex convict to have the vision to actually fix the fucking potholes in this city. The fact of the matter is all politicians are corrupt, especially the ones who serve six terms as Mayor; but the city thrived under Cianci and the people he served adored him. So he did a little racketeering – water under the bridge (stupid saying). Vote 4 Buddy.

– Ryan

Monster Blog Wednesday – The Average Nobodies Create Restaurants



Who doesn’t love a nice night out on the town at a fancy (Chilis) restaurant? I’m talking about going out with some friends and enjoying good food, ice ice ice ice cold drinks, and maybe a little entertainment. That’s the American dream in a half shell (see what I did there?). So what is this week’s Monster Blog? It’s simple: The Average Nobodies come up with restaurants. The object is to channel our favorite things about our favorite restaurants into one mega-eatery that will be the crowning achievement off all the “testing” we have done over the years. Ladies and gentlemen, Bobby Flay ain’t got SHIT on us.

Matt’s Taco Emporium

At “MTE” we have one motto: “If you like tacos then you better come here or else you are a dumb idiot who actually does’t like tacos and should probably just stay home anyway.” I know what you are thinking, kind of a long motto, well if you think that then my tacos aren’t for you. At MTE we use only the most mediocre ingredients we can find, because since when have you gone to a really good taco place that used grade A meat and fresh veggies? Exactly. Our minimalistic menu includes two items, Tacos and Beer, which cost $2 each. Substitutions will not be allowed and our beer selection is minimal, to say the least, but what we lack in personal touch we make up for in bold tastes and a live mariachi band that plays every minute that we are open. Don’t sleep on Matt’s Taco Emporium, because we will find you.



Ryan’s Soup Shack

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it one thousand times: restaurants need more soup. I go to a nice, fancy pub and what are my soup options? Chicken soup. That’s it. Where’s my broccoli cheddar? Where’s my tomato bisque? Where is my motherfucking clam chowder? At Ryan’s Soup Shack, we’ll have all that and more. If you’re a restaurant in Rhode Island and you’re not taking advantage of all the fresh seafood at your fingertips then you’re a moron. At Ryan’s Soup Shack™, we have a portion of the menu dedicated to marine life, because after all, we are the Ocean State. Red and White clam chowder, lobster bisque, crab soup, shrimp gumbo; always fresh, always delicious. We’ll also have your mama’s favorite soups, such as chicken noodle, French onion, Italian wedding soup, minestrone, lentils, and beef stew. Feeling oriental? We’ll have Vietnamese Pho, Miso soup and anything else that tickles your soup bone. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is yes, we will be using top notch advertising:


So come on down to Ryan’s Soup Shack if you want good soup, and if you want anything else, you can go to hell.

– Ryan


Rhode Islanders Can Rest Easy Today: The Potato Burglar Has Been Caught

French FryProvidence police said Monday that a man accused of using a potato to look like a weapon in two attempted robberies has been arrested.

Officials said 34-year-old Gary Deming was already being held at the ACI on other charges.

Providence police said Deming admitted during an interview to the two attempted robberies. He said he attached the potato to the end of a butane lighter.

Deming was charged with assault to commit robbery.

Workers at a Shell gas station on Branch Avenue said a potato-wielding man tried to hold them up April 21. They scared him away with a bat.

Police said the same man tried to rob a dry cleaning store on Charles Street about 30 minutes later. The owners gave him a counterfeit $20 bill.

Thank God

45 people got shot Easter weekend in Chicago but they’re probably thanking their lucky stars they didn’t have to deal with the potato burglar. Rhode Islanders can sleep with both eyes closed now. This long nightmare of a man with a potato and a thirst for blood is over. When I first saw the headline, I honestly thought a drunk guy tried to steal a potato from a convenience store, which would be weird but kind of understandable. Robbing a convenience store with a butane lighter and a potato, on the other hand, is something that is not meant to be understood. Probably a good thing he got caught because he was a horrible burglar. If all you get after two robbery attempts is a counterfeit $20 bill then maybe its a blessing in disguise that you got caught. Spend a little time in prison and rethink your robbery strategies (don’t use a potato as a weapon). Trust me when I say this, we haven’t heard the last of the potato wielding mad man known as Gary Deming.

– Ryan

Frank Carpano Might Have the Best Reporter Warmup Routine in the Game Today

Rhode Island’s finest, everybody. That’s how the true pro’s get ready for live TV. Thumb to the face and tongue sticking it out like it ain’t no thang. I’m not 100% sure that we can rule out a stroke, but if it wasn’t then Frank needs to work on his game face. I know a Rhode Island college basketball team hasn’t been THIS good in awhile, but that’s no excuse. You’re better than this, Frank. Lock it up.

– Ryan

H/T Uproxx

Narragansett Beer is Turning the Beer Game Upside Down and Inside Out


For those of you non Rhode Islanders/New Englanders, this is kind of a big deal. I’m not a huge Gansett fan when it’s a can (span tan Jan), but I love lemonade. And if I can drink something that tastes like lemonade and also get drunk, well then you had me at hello. Bravo Narragansett. Next step is getting this snow out of the way and letting the sun do its thing. Uncle Ryan has a beach date with a 6er of these shandy’s.

– Ryan

photo via @PeteMFBoyd

Taylor Swift is Ruining Rhode Island According to Rhode Islanders

Source – Taylor Swift has walked into trouble in the exclusive beachside community where she bought an $18million vacation home this summer – building an enormous sea wall that has left local residents furious.

After the 24-year-old singer purchased the largest and most lavish property in Watch Hill, Rhode Island – a neighborhood filled with large and lavish properties – she began rebuilding a seawall on the beach in front of the mansion.

The construction project, which began with no public notice, has made some neighbors and longtime residents of the area furious because it restricts access to a public beach and interferes with fishermen and surfers who have been using the stretch of sand for generations.

‘I don’t know how the hell they let her do this without approval or nothing,’ a furious Richard Bishop, 76, told MailOnline as he climbed atop the wall to survey the development.


Way to go, T-Swift. You think just because you spent $18 million that you can do whatever you want to our voluptuous coastline? Don’t you know people surf there and the elderly need their sun bathing space? The nerve on this girl. I’ve been saying it for awhile now but Taylor Swift is getting too big for her britches. You can serial date all you want, but once you start messing with Rhode Islanders, I have to draw the line. We may not be as crazy as Florida, but Rhode Island has a lot of psychopaths. If you took away our coastline, we’d literally be the saddest state in the country, possibly the world. So we will defend that coastline to the death. If Taylor Swift thinks she’s going to build a seawall on our watch she has another thing coming. This means war. Hit the music!

Rhode Island is So Lame

(Source) “CUMBERLAND, R.I. (WPRI) – Cumberland School officials sent an email to parents on Wednesday, notifying them one high school student has been diagnosed with whooping cough.

In the email obtained by Eyewitness News, school officials instructed parents to watch for symptoms of whooping cough, or Pertussis in their children.

This comes one week after the Department of Health confirmed eight cases of Pertussis at Ponaganset High School in Scituate.

While many people are vaccinated against Pertussis as infants, health officials said the strength of the vaccine weakens as they get older.

Symptoms of Pertussis are coughing, fever, and a runny nose.”


Shut down the state. Shut it down! One kid in Cumberland has whooping cough. Thank God I’ve been watching the Walking Dead because this is undoubtedly the start of a zombie apocalypse. Did you read those symptoms? Coughing, fever, A RUNNY NOSE! Why did this terrible disease have to come and invade my home state! We need to be in full blown quarantine mode right now. Anyone seen coughing, sneezing or wincing needs to be taken out before this gets out of control. Rhode Island will not go down without a fight!

– Ryan

P.S. What year is it? I thought whooping cough was cured 100 years ago.

Lady’s Apartment Catches On Fire, Then Cops Steal Her Pot

EAST PROVIDENCE, R.I. (AP) — Authorities discovered four pounds of marijuana after firefighters put out a blaze in an East Providence providing.

The Providence Journal ( ) reports that the fire broke out around 11 a.m. Tuesday in a three-story building that houses a liquor store and apartments.

Police Lt. William Nebus says firefighters discovered growing lights used for marijuana and called police.

Police say while some residents of the building had medical marijuana cards, they are only allowed to have up to 12 plants and 2.5 ounces each.

A 22-year-old woman was arrested. Her name was not immediately released.

Talk about getting kicked while you’re down. “Hey lady your apartment was on fire. Good news is we put out the blaze. Bad news is we confiscated all your weed.” Fire is bad enough. But if there is one thing that can turn a bad situation around it’s a boat load of weed. Pop in a few funny movies, eat your face off. Now she just has to sit in jail thinking about her burnt apartment and the weed that could’ve been. Hell on Earth.

– Ryan