This week’s Movie Club pick was ‘Donald Cried.’ Next week’s movie will be ‘Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press.’ Call 401-285-8120 to leave us a voicemail with a comment, question, or observation and we will play it on an episode.
With so many awesome breweries popping up in Rhode Island, we wanted to start shining the spotlight on some of our favorites. Breweries have turned into so much more than just a place to brew beer, and Revival Brewing Co. in Cranston, RI is one of the best examples of that. Between their pint nights, tastings & easily accessible hours of operations (12-8 Monday-Saturday, 12-4 Sunday) Revival is turning into one of the best breweries in the state. It doesn’t hurt that they brew delicious beer, too. Here’s a special Drinking with Class look at Revival Brewing.
– The Average Nobodies
Someone’s a big fan of Stranger Things! I love myself a good analogy, and this right here, this wonderful pop cultural reference, is as good as gets. Not only did he get to compare all facets of Trump’s administration to the upside down, but he goes and drops a “coffee and contemplation” quote right on our dome pieces! Wonderful! Glorious! Regardless of your political affiliation, or the size of the stick up your ass, you have to like this.
PS – Where do I buy a “Trump Things” crewneck sweatshirt? Need it.
This is probably my 10th blog post about Donald Cried and you know what? I don’t care. I love Donald Cried and you will too…once it’s out in theaters on March 3 and you actually get a chance to see it. Besides the video teasers, this is the first proper trailer that Donald Cried has received. If this even sparks your interest a little bit, I HIGHLY suggest finding a theater that will be showing it. It’s worth your time, and them some.
Okay, here’s the deal. For those of you who don’t know, or don’t care, Rhode Island recently did an overhaul of their branding and image. The government, specifically the governor’s office, spent and obscene amount of money on a new logo, slogan and website update as a part of this new look for The Ocean State. The slogan: “Cooler & Warmer”, which doesn’t really have a ring to it at all, i’m actually not even sure what it means. Cooler like “hey man that’s cool”, or is it cooler like temperature? Regardless of whatever the meaning or double meaning might be that’s just way too much thing for a slogan. If it needs to be explained, then it probably isn’t going to work. If I was a family ready to pick a spot for a nice summer vacation and I happened to discover that Rhode Island’s state slogan, the thing that is trying to draw me in, is “Warmer & Cooler” I probably would avoid it at all costs. No way I’m exposing my family to a state that picked that kind of BS as their catchphrase. So what should be the new “new” slogan? Here’s our hot take and new slogans for Rhode Island.
Rhode Island: An Ocean of Possibilities
Not bad, right? That cost me $0 and took me literally 7 minutes to come up with. Before I get into my slogan, I want to take some time and bash the new official slogan. Cooler & Warmer. You know what’s ‘cooler and warmer’? Literally everywhere. Every place on this god damn Earth is at one time cool or warm. Those are really the only temperatures things can be. Technically yes places can be ‘cold or hot’ but it’s pretty much the same thing. Not only are we the smallest state, but apparently our Governor has the smallest brain. If you’re spending $5 million on something and that’s what you come up with, you’re an idiot. You could have bought a $5 million car with that kind of money.
Back to my slogan: I was going to go the funny route, but I kind of wanted to prove how easy it is to come up with a slogan for a place that used to be called The Ocean State. Do you know how many people living in the middle of the country are jealous of Rhode Islanders? We have beautiful beaches 45 minutes away, and that’s if you live on the other side of the state. That’s the main reason people come here and that’s the main reason summers here are so great. It’s not the perfect slogan, but there’s no such thing as perfect, so why not just go with the obvious and then put something about hope in there? People love hope. Now, no slogan is complete without a picture that sums up that slogan, and luckily I came prepared. Read it and weep.
Rhode Island: Not Long Island
I can’t tell you how many times i’ve introduced myself to someone, told them where i’m from and they respond “oh yes, New York”. No, actually there is a pretty sizable state separating us from New York. Am I taking crazy pills or is everybody outside the northeast just writing our tiny state off? I know we haven’t been known for the best things (maybe our slogan should be “Mobsters and Lobsters” [saw that somewhere, not my own]) and maybe those things have sent us into such a deep downward spiral that no matter how hard we try to change our image we are always going to fuck things up. Case and point, the awful slogan we just came up with. It’s hard to believe that we hired the same media company that did New York’s mega popular “I Heart New York” campaign. Things must have gone downhill since then, because this slogan is just crap. Not to mention we have one of the most prestigious art schools in the country, why not pull some ideas from there? I’m pretty sure RISD could have come up with a better logo than the shark fin/sail with Easter weekend pastel colors. It looks like a bad bank logo.
If nobody outside our own citizens were vacationing here before, they definitely won’t be now, so let’s at least change our slogan to something useful. Rhode Island: Not Long Island.
-Matt the Rat
You’ll Be Fined $500 If You Live in Rhode Island & You Don’t Rake Your Leaves Because Everyone Is Apparently Insane
Wait, What – Pine needles belong in the forest, not on a neighbor’s lawn, according to a Rhode Island lawmaker who wants to compel residents to trim unruly twigs and trees.
The state Senate passed a bill Tuesday that would require homeowners to prune their shrubbery and trees or face a $500 fine if plant litter lands on someone else’s property.
The bill’s sponsor, Democratic Sen. Frank Ciccone, said he introduced the legislation after listening to concerns about pine trees from residents in his Silver Lake district of Providence.
Pine trees are “nice in the forest, nice in certain areas, but they shed these pine needles and sap onto adjacent vehicles and driveways,” he said.
Senators voted 26-6 to pass the bill that would require homeowners to maintain and control any debris created by a tree or shrubs if it causes a nuisance to an abutting property owner.
It’s nice to see that in times like these, where the American people might have to choose between Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton for President of the god damn United States, that RI politicians are focusing on the important things. The important things, in this particular situation, are pine needles and leaves. What’re we really doing here? Is this the apocalypse? I always thought it would be fireballs and chaos, but maybe it’s Donald Trump as President and getting fined if you don’t rake your leaves. Who’re the people who are REALLY complaining to politicians about pine needles? They’re not toxic waste. If you don’t like them on your lawn, pick them up. If you can’t muster the strength and energy to pick them up, hire a landscaper. I’m not going to pretend to be into politics and list a bunch of issues that are more important than this, but when pine needles a priority, there is something wrong.
Congrats To Providence RI’s Own ‘Los Andes’ On Making Yelp’s “100 Places To Eat In The US For 2016” List!
51. Johnny Pacific, Winnetka, CA
52. Outlaws Cafe, Van Nuys, CA *Yelp Eat24 Order/Delivery
53. Lou’s Cafe, San Francisco, CA
54. Los Andes Restaurant, Providence, RI
55. Arizmendi Bakery, San Francisco, CA
56. Lahaina Grill, Lahaina, HI
57. The French Laundry, Yountville, CA
58. Gus’s World Famous Hot & Spicy Chicken, Memphis, TN
59. Uchi, Austin, TX
60. Rockfire Grill, Mission Viejo, CA *Yelp Eat24 Order/Delivery 🔥
You can click on the link for the full list, but how about a Rhode Island favorite making Yelp’s list of places to eat in 2016? Los Andes is far and away the best restaurant in our area, and as a local Rhode Islander it’s nice to see them get recognized. I didn’t think I’d wake up today and say I’ve eaten at the 54th best restaurant in the country, but that’s how what happens when you live life in the fast lane.
Smackdown was live this week from Providence, RI, and whenever the WWE comes to town, you can be sure the Average Nobodies will be in attendance. Tuesday night was no different, and as usual, WWE put on a great live show. We got in there right about the start of Main Event, and even saw Finn Balor and Samoa Joe team up in some high quality NXT action. Let’s get to the 5 stars from last night’s Smackdown!
1. The Wyatt Family
The Wyatt Family opened up Smackdown with a promo, which is par for the course for Smackdown. But if you think I’m not going to give Bray, Luke Harper and their new Donald Gibb lookalike a star then you’re high. Having Wyatt influence people enough to join his family is such a long overdo character trait that it makes me furious it didn’t happen sooner. But it happened now, and although I’m 1000% sure that Braun is going to end up being just another obstacle Roman Reigns overcomes, my optimistic side says that this trio could finally get Bray into the title picture. It’s a goddamn shame that Wyatt has never held a belt in the WWE, especially when the IC belt is toiling away in obscurity with Ryback and Big Show punching each other for 7 minutes at a time. You’re telling me IC champion Wyatt wouldn’t have good to great matches and feuds with the Dean Ambrose/Kevin Owens/Cesaro’s of the WWE? It’d be money, and it would give the mid carders something to chase. Make it happen, WWE. Or just have Wyatt be the best character you’ve had in a decade lose every important match he wrestles.
2. Seth Rollins
Fresh off his US title win at Summerslam and beat down at the hands of Sting on Raw, Seth Rollins unfortunately didn’t wrestle on Smackdown, but he did cut one hell of a fiery promo. While most of his promos are long winded, my favorite part about the Seth Rollins character is that it comes from a very real place. Rollins does have a chip on his shoulder, he does think he’s underrated and he truly believes he’s ‘the man’. When he was in NXT, he felt that he should have been elevated to the main roster. When he was in The Shield, he felt like the spotlight should have been shined solely on him. Now that he’s WWE Champion, he believes people should bow at his feet and thank him for being in their presence. He’s sick of having his title reign questioned, and if he has to beat old man Sting to prove once again that he’s THE MAN, then that’s exactly what he’s going to do. Seth Rollins is at the top of his game right now, and if there’s one guy who can pull a main event match out of Sting at this phase of his career, it’s Seth Rollins.
3. The Dudley Boyz Make Their Smackdown Return
I’m not going to sit here and lie directly to your face and say I didn’t pee myself a little when the Dudleys showed up on RAW and decimated The New Day. It was probably in my top 3 as far as wrestlers returning to the WWE goes (other two that i’m still waiting for are Stone Cold and Mickie James [love me some Mickie]). So when I found out the Dudleys were going to be showing off those sweet camo pants on the Smackdown that I was attending, I got the sharpie out and made a “get the tables sign” (WHICH WAS SEEN ON SMACKDOWN). Was I a little disappointed they fought The Ascension? Yeah, sure I was. Did it matter? Hell no it did not, The Dudleys were going to put one, or both, of them through the table anyway. Bonus pee in my pants for The New Day coming out with hilarious signs protesting the Dudleys reappearance in the WWE. #GiveTablesAChance
4. Sheamus Working the Providence Crowd
The WWE loves Sheamus. At first I didn’t understand why, but after a few years of matches and character changes I see it clearly, the guy is pretty much the total package. He’s big, he’s got “the look”, he speaks decent on the mic, he makes his opponent look good, has a shit ton of moves in his repertoire and he can deal with a tough crowd. On Smackdown, he had to continually deal with a hostile crowd that were chanting “You look stupid”, and while I agree with the Providence crowd, this can’t be an easy thing to deal with as a backdrop to your match. In-between giving Ambrose the beating of a lifetime, he would often look to the crowd and scream “no i’m not!”, which, if you ask me, is the perfect childish response you want from a heel. Great match by Ambrose and Sheamus.
5. Finn Balor and Samoa Joe
Samoa Joe and Finn Balor teaming up in a tag team match against the Lucha Dragons was a nice added bonus for our night at the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence. The match was great, and Balor and Joe are a formidable team going forward (more on that in a bit). Sin Cara probably isn’t going anywhere past the Lucha Dragons, but if the WWE ever lets Kalisto let loose and become another Rey Mysterio, he’s going to blow people away more than he’s already doing now. The reason I mentioned Joe and Balor going forward, and the reason why this match was especially special (new phrase) is because this ended up being one of the matches that decided what teams would participate in the Dusty Rhodes Memorial Tag Team Tournament that is going to be dominating NXT TV over the next few months. The tag team division is probably the weakest part of NXT, and that’s not a knock on the tag division, but rather it shows you how strong the rest of their show is. If you want to see the difference between NXT and WWE, just look at this move by Regal, HHH and whoever else had a hand in creating this tournament. WWE’s answer to a subpar tag division is to just run fatal four way after fatal four way tag team matches with the same teams. The only reason people are talking about the division at all is because of the wonderfulness of New Day and the PTP. Instead of doing that, NXT creates this memorial tournament, which gives EVERY NXT wrestler, including their champion Finn Balor, a chance to enter with a teammate and try to win it. Dusty Rhodes was the heart and soul of NXT, so from a real life and storyline standpoint, every wrestler on the roster has motivation to want to win this thing. We’re probably not there yet, but how awesome would it be to have a few women team up and get a couple victories? If you don’t want to see Charlotte tap out Mojo Rawley you might not have a soul.
-The Average Nobodies